Mission Mission

Only $200 in Monopoly currency per house! And think of all the extra income you’ll be raking in once you save up for a hotel.

[via the Minutes]

[via lurk.skate.sf (love this guy today!)]

Forget owning a castle, if you have the millions ($22 million, naturally), why not buy an island? This island, to be exact:

And here’s some context:

On the real estate site Zillow, Red Rock Island inexplicably shows up  on the intersection of Van Ness and Pacific Ave., instead of it’s real location just south of the Richmond/San Rafael bridge:

The following comes directly from the listing:

Red Rock Island is the only privately held island in San Francisco Bay and is offered at $22M for the mineral rights and bragging rights.

Woah, mineral rights and bragging rights?

Well, the bragging rights go without saying. Imagine using the line, “Your place or my island?” Instant deal-closer. You’ll be loading up your private helicopter with babes or hot dudes (or both) in no time.

But what’s with those “mineral rights”? Just what kind of “red rocks” are we talking about here? Bismuth? Manganese? I’m not sure what the market is for paint pigment these days, but I can’t imagine it would cover your costs of mining. Don’t forget you’d also have to invest in an industrial-strength rock tumbler to get those other rocks show-ready.

That’s not all the island has to offer, though. According to sea kayaker and explorer Storm Steiger:

Russian and Aluet fur hunters camped on the island while pursuing the huge population of sea otters found in San Francisco Bay in the early 1800s.

Be still my otter-loving heart. That was the 1800s, though. Those otters have skipped town by now.

It was also known as a great place to gather firewood.

Bummer. We all love making fires, but most San Francisco fireplaces have been filled in.

But wait, what’s this?

Did pirates bury their gold on Red Rock? On old charts the island was called Treasure Rock and Golden Rock because of such tales.

Now we’re getting somewhere. What’s more appealing than pirate gold? With all that alleged treasure you might actually break even on the $90,000 monthly payment.

There’s all kinds of interesting information on Storm Steiger’s site, including the story of one entrepreneur who hoped to build a 20-story hotel on the island only to be shot down by the city of Richmond. There’s also a ton of info on this homestead site. Be sure to do your research before buying.

We just got an interesting comment on a years-old post about the Academy of Art. It is poorly written and full of slander and bile, but it is kind of a fun read. Here’s some of it:

The people that attend usually have their noses shoved so far up their professors asses that they pluck them out they can still smell the shit and believe it to be them. Alas.. they are not the shit. The fashion bitches are legitimate hos. Even though the bitches wont admit it you can often see them working the streets at Sutter corners.

Read the rest.

Photo of Academy of Art students by moses supposes.

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From our Introduce Yourself page, some neighborly advice from our neighbor Liz Dunn:

I first moved into the Mission in 1991 and lived on Elgin Park. Since then I’ve lived on 20th and Guerrero, Clinton Park, 22nd and Dolores, and that awesome brick building on 25th and Bartlett. If you ever see a vacancy there, you should move in–it’s an awesome mix of hipsters, ancient people who smell like pee, and couples in their 50s who still pay $450 a month.

Link. Plus, duh, it’s smack in the middle of one of the foremost Mission Sugar Rails.

Let’s take a moment to admire local architecture, shall we?

Above is Thomas D. Harvey Realty on Valencia between 21st and 22nd.  The yellow tile and gold accents take my breath away on a regular basis.  My bf and I are planning on getting rich, buying this gem, leaving it untouched, and turning it into a bar.  You’d take your out-of-town friends here and they’d be like “Okay, I don’t get it… Where’s the bar?” and you’d be all, “Ha. This IS the bar.”

See you guys at the Harvey, circa 2k25.

[Top pic by my phone, bottom by George]

I’m no NIMBY, but I liked how you used to be able to see all four Bay Bridge towers from the park. The westernmost tower is now obstructed by One Rincon Hill, as you can see here. Thankfully, Susie at Curbed says plans for Two Rincon Hill, which looks like it would have obstructed the next westernmost tower,  have been scrapped suspended, due to some kind of problem with the economy. Link (via SFist).

Update: Whoops. View of Bay Bridge from Dolores Park to remain somewhat unobstructed, for a while longer at least.

Photo by Moncrief Speaks.

Previously on Mission Mission:

Future View of Downtown from Dolores Park

Sunset Magazine’s Idea House has a for sale sign out front. After talking to the man with the keys, I learned it is not the main house that is on the market, but the smaller apartment attached to this amazing house. He offered to show it to me, apparently mistaking my jeans for a cocktail dress. So, if anyone is willing to loan me, say a million dollars (it is listed at $995,000), I will be saving a bundle on heating and water bills – I should be able to repay you sometime in the next couple hundred years.

Perks: windmill, solar panels, blue kitchen, front row parque acuatico hinchable seats for Garfield Square soccer games.

SF Real Estate News reports this morning that beloved Mission dive bar Zeitgeist will close its doors next month, to be razed and replaced by a Borders.

Artist’s rendering by Ty Kirkey.

Link to more Mission Mission coverage of Mission District dive bars.