Mission Mission

Here’s what a piece o’ π at Pi Bar looks like:

Yum.  Both Burrito Justice (image cred for the above!)  and Grub Street have good posts about the new pizza joint at 25th and Valencia.  Check ‘em out.

I took a look at the menu in anticipation, and was, quite frankly,  a bit disappointed with the lack of π references.  In fact, the only punny π mentions on an otherwise straightforward menu were the $3.14 slices and the “2 * Pi * “R”egular Special,” which translates to a slice and a beer.  That last one doesn’t quite make sense.  2πR = circumference, dudes.

I understand I’m being obnoxious (seriously, stop reading now), but I’d like to come up with some suggestions for Pi Bar to pony up on the π puns.  Here’s what I’ve got so far, let me know if you think of more:

• The Archimeaties – the all-meat pi!
• The Pi Are Square – the pi whose area is square!
• The Greek Constant – the Greek pi!
• The Infinite Sequence – create your own pi!
• Square Root Special – slices for $1.77!

Or whatever, they could keep their menu classy.  No biggie.

Looking forward to trying it out!

Coming soon: you failing to get some random play over a Tecate and slice of mushroom-black olive

In the post-American Apparel / Mr. Pickles era of Mission blogging, authors are desperate for controversial material to fill our lonely pages.  Luckily, the upcoming “Pi Bar” seems to be providing the necessary blogging fodder.  Since mid June, the new restaurant has had to endure a protest of vegans, a little bit of controversy surrounding the painted-over Suriya Thai mural, and even had to publicly address their neighbors (sounds familiar?).  And the general buzz?  3 posts on vegansaurus!, 3 on Burrito Justice, 5 on Eater SF, 3 on SFoodie, and countless other posts elsewhere.  If blogging was real life, you would have to wait 2 months to get a table.

Clearly, we are missing out on something here.

To bring you up the speed, vegansaurus! has been taking the investigative lead on this topic.  If you have not been acquainted with vegansaurus! yet, it is a quirky Mission-based food blog about eating cupcakes and calling people assholes in caps lock.  vegansaurus! recently placed a phone call to the new establishment to pressure them into making vegan pizza when they accidently uncovered a nefarious plot to open in a few weeks:

“Thank you for calling Pi Bar. We’re looking forward to a mid-August, early September opening; look for us then. Thanks for calling!”

That is pretty much verbatim with some license taken in the fact that we are lazy and didn’t want to call back to get it verbatim, you dig? (link)

(By the way, my post count about “Pi Bar” is now at 2.  I love being a part of something.)

I heard whispered rumors of such a phenomenon, and so I decided to walk into the lion’s den. I stepped into Mission Pie and demanded an answer from the teenager behind the counter. With darting eyes and a hushed voice, he confirmed that this is indeed the case. Mission Pie will soon expand into more than a sweet treat store: pizza is on its way!

Apparently, a new kitchen or something unimportant like that has to be finished and it won’t be done until probably late this year, but I didn’t really hear the specifics. I was in a pizza haze, imagining a late night slice on the way home from BART, laughing joyously with a friend. There may have also been a warm breeze in the air and a friendly bum on the sidewalk.

Has anyone told Serrano’s?

Is chicken pot pie next?

Will Mission Mission ever get sick of Mission Pie stories?

Last night I attended Queens of Content at Adaptive Path in SoSo, where Erika Hall delivered Copy as Interface which put forth the valuable principle that as a web writer one should strive to have one’s reader think “A human made a decision to make my life a little more pleasant with words.” This principle applies to all types of writing really, as seen on this slide featuring some signage from Little Star.

Previously on Mission Mission:

Boing Boing Spotlights Passive Aggressive Anti-Graffiti Note in Little Star Bathroom

Mule Design’s Re-Elect Clay Davis T-Shirt

Guide to How to Have Fun This Summer if You Live in SF and Your Best Friends Live in Oakland

[I did this feature for the Bay Area print edition of The Onion. They ran a trimmed version in their summer double issue last month, but since they don't put anything online, here it is. --Allan]

If your best friends live in Oakland, you’ll probably be spending a lot of time in the East Bay this summer. Today, the A.V. Club presents a guide to making the best of it.

First, try to think of every trip to Oaktown as a mini-vacay to a bustling mini-metropolis. Stroll Lake Merritt’s shoreline and you’ll swear you’ve landed in some tiny little bastard version of Chicago or something. Enjoy the view for a bit, then walk a couple blocks down East 18th Street and finally see a movie at the Parkway Speakeasy (1834 Park Blvd., 510-814-2400, www.picturepubpizza.com). As you’ve surely been hearing for years, it’s an historic movie house full of couches and beer and pizza, and it is every bit as fun as it sounds.

For slices and pints sans cinema, head over to Lanesplitter (4799 Telegraph Ave., 510-527-8375, www.lanesplitterpizza.com). It’s somewhat less polished than your beloved Little Star, but it has a longer draught list and equally mouth-watering pies.

Speaking of long lists of beer, on August 11th you can all take a mini-road trip down to Hayward for the Bistro’s 10th Annual IPA Festival (1001 B St., 510-886-8525, www.the-bistro.com). India Pale Ales will be ferried in from microbreweries all over the world, so designate a driver and drink up.

On your way back north, go to an A’s game. A’s games are great because you can enjoy the Great American Pastime without all the Bonds-related drama and T-Third-related transit confusion. Plus, the Coliseum is doing that cool thing where instead of sending you tickets, they just text you an image of a barcode.

Now that you’re back in Oakland, if you’re not familiar with the Oaklandish organization (www.oaklandish.org), read up. They sponsor subcultural events throughout the year, including this week’s shadow-puppet production of Sinbad the Sailor by Teatro Penumbra at the Parkway.

Suppose one of your friends just graduated from Mills and is in need of a place to host a celebratory barbecue. Redwood Bowl in Redwood Regional Park (10570 Skyline Blvd., 888-EB-PARKS) is an ideal place to grill up some bockwurst and toss around the ol’ Frisbee. The meadow’s uneven terrain means barefoot Ultimate can be hazardous, so be careful.

In the evening, check out one of those fabled warehouse shows, perhaps at a place like Ghost Town Gallery (2519 San Pablo Ave., 510-393-1876, www.myspace.com/ghosttowngallery). They’re cheap and laid back and charmingly sketchy – welcome respite from the too-familiar routines at the city’s proper rock clubs. You might meet local superstars like Brian Glaze and they might regale you with advice about how to get rid of clingy groupies (tell them you have AIDS) and how to pick up girls you actually like (tell them you’re friends with the Time Flys).

If local superstars aren’t enough, plenty of international ones play in the East Bay too. Canada’s Fucked Up will grace the stage at Gilman (924 Gilman St. in Berkeley, 510-525-9926, www.924gilman.org) on June 30th, and Daft Punk and the Rapture will rock UC Berkeley’s Greek Theatre on July 30th. Either of these would be a great sendoff for your friend that’s moving to Germany or somewhere the following week.

Lastly, if one of your friends tries to drag you to Ikea, there might be a sick view of the melted 580 connector from the parking structure, but other than that, leave your wallet at home and resist, resist, resist.

Whatever you end up doing, the looming question all damn night will of course be how the hell to get back to the city. Inevitably, we all end up sprinting toward a BART station at 12:26. That sucks, because you find yourselves sweaty and winded, and half the time you don’t even make the train. Alternatively, you can search the cryptic maze of schedules on 511.org for info on the All Nighter bus, but you’re drunk for goodness’ sake.

Instead, just opt for a sleepover. This way, you can drink ’til the bars close, stumble over to Taqueria Sinaloa (2138 International Blvd., 510-535-1206) for some carnitas, and then go home, watch Moonwalker again and pass out. In the morning, maybe you can all go to the city together…

East Bay kids are perfectly adept at coming to the city an Amoeba run and a show at the Fillmore, so be sure to turn your friends on to something new this summer! Show them Thrillhouse (3422 Mission St.) and Force of Habit (3565 20th St., 415-255-PUNK, www.forceofhabit.com) in lieu of Amoeba, and then drop into Rite Spot Cafe (2099 Folsom St., 415-552-6066, www.myspace.com/ritespotcafe) for a much more intimate concert experience (The A.V. Club recommends Ash Reiter‘s girl-with-a-big-electric-guitar crooning on June 25th or Toshio Hirano‘s little-Japanese-man country twang on June 30th).

By the way: Since your friends have nothing but a tape deck in their ’92 Acura Legend, be sure to have a few choice cassettes (think NPG-era Prince or the Ghostbusters soundtrack) ready to go for their ride back to Oakland. They’ll appreciate it.

 Browse more Mission Mission coverage of music, travel, food and drink, Muni, and The Onion.