Mission Mission

Bryan Whalen sends us this beautiful flyer and says:

Many will attempt to enter the arena of battle, but just one team will climb atop a mountain of destroyed egos, mangled wrists and crushed PBR’s to hold the trophy high above they’re head and claim the throne to all of the Pinball Land.

All Conan-isms asides, the time has finally come for teams to prepare for the 1^st Annual Ball Busters Pinball Tournament. I’ve been plotting this tourney for a number of years, and finally , with the help of Rebel8 and our non-profit partner, Keep A Breast, it’s all come to fruition. The tournament is an invitational, and I’ve hand-selected teams that I’ve had the pleasure of working closely with over my time with Pabst Blue Ribbon. I greatly appreciate everyone who has supported myself and the brand, and now I’m hoping to give you all a kick ass time in return. The event is open to the public, so I highly encourage inviting as many friends as possible, particularly for the purpose of cheerleading. We will also have 200 limited edition tees and posters by Mike Giant (who will also be doing a live piece), all for the ridiculously low price of $20, as well as the El Tonayense Taco Truck (I will provide some freebie tacos) and “refreshments”, so bring cash! I am not charging for the tournament, but would love if each team made a small donation to Keep A Breast.

All the info you will need for the event is below:

1^st Annual Ball Busters Pinball Tournament

• Saturday, Aug 21^st 6 – 12am
• Guerrero Gallery, 2700 19^th @ Bryant
• Team Check-in:  5 pm (or earlier)
• Team Warm Up: 5-6
• Tournament: 6pm on

Rules:

• Single Elimination tournament. Sixteen 2 Person Teams.
• Teams will draw cards at random to determine machine and competitor. Teams flip for either 1/2 player or 3/4 player position.
• Scoring : 1^st round teams play two games. Team’s drop high and low scores, remaining scores averaged. High score in match advances. 2^nd round/semis/ finals/ championship play one game. Team’s score to be averaged, high score in match advances.
• While I am all for pinball finesse (nudging, bumping, bang backs), slamming, lifting, kicking, or slapping on machines is STRICTLY PROHIBITED. Players displaying poor pinball etiquette will be swiftly ejected from the tournament. See next item…
• TILT RULE: 1^st tilt player will be issued warning, 2^nd tilt player will set out rest of game.
• No food or drink on or near machines during gameplay.
• Awards: 1^st , 2^nd Place and “Ball Busters Spirit Award”. Spirit. Award to be determined by PBR staff and will be based on, but not limited to: cheerleaders, costumes, heart and good sportsmanship
• Side bets and good natured trash talking are encouraged, but not required.

TEAMS CONFIRMED: HUF, Benny Gold, FTC, Medicine Agency, Workshop, Bender’s, Fecal Face, Rebel8, 330 Ritch, Evergold/SFAQ, Self Edge, Bro Palace, 111 Minna, Indie Mart

So there you have it. NOW GET OUT THERE AND PRACTICE! I won’t reveal what particular machines will be featured, but they’re quite common (if you’re good, you should be able to play on any machine!).  If you need hints on spots to practice, here’s a few: Lucky13, Elbo Room, The Uptown, Route 101, Malotovs, The Cinch, Doc’s Clock, Ace’s, Bender’s, Musee de Mecanique, Lucky Juju (east bay). Maybe I’ll see you out there and join in for a game.

Will there be a team Mission Mission? Outlook not good. I know there are a few pinball wizards here, but I think Tetris and Ping Pong are more our sports. We’ll just be there for the beer and yelling.

Readers over at SFist recently voted on what they feel should be the motto of San Francisco, and the winner by plurality was “Not Smug.  Just Better,” with “Back Door! BACK DOOR! Step Down! STEP DOWN!” coming in a close second.  This got me wondering, does the Mission have a motto?  Does it even need one?  If so, what would it be?

What do you think, guys?  How does “PBR and Jameson” sound?

[Photo by Emmanuelle via SFist]

At Bender’s current market prices, anyway. Consumerist reports that Pabst was recently bought for $250 million.

The reported buyer of the brewer — the #5 suds supplier in the U.S. — is C. Dean Metropoulos, who has made his name managing big-time brands like Bumble Bee Tuna, Vlasic Pickles, Chef Boyardee, Duncan Hines and Ghirardelli Chocolates.

I can’t wait to see the sample recipes that will start showing up on the boxes!

[Thanks Kat Malinowska, photo by Jai Yung]

Previously:

Don’t Drink Rapaciously Evil Corporate Beer

Yeah.  Made this vid about my travels this morning.  Guess it is worth watching.  Still super jetlagged and cannot sleep past 4 am.  English literature is scarce so this is what I did with my downtime.  EPIC.

(video/YouTube)

No jokes: they actually have PBR in China and you can buy it for $0.07 USD. I wanted to be hella cool so I drank some on the back of the bus. love the back of the bus. I also need a haircut and learn how to take MySpace photos that don't make me look fat.

Carlos Reyes peeped this shit recently (warning: mp3 auto-play):

what the fuck. no thanks. that’d be like drinking water light

A quick Google query indicates they’ve been making this for a few years now.  How have I never seen this before?  Also, this photo reminds me of the Enterprise accelerating to light speed, which is pretty much what happens to my personality whenever I drink a few of these.

Peep this!: no one who writes Mission Mission* owns a real camera.  Clearly we love lo-fi photography, but occasionally it would be nice to have a dSLR to take pictures with.  Since we already have our two strikes, we cannot risk getting caught breaking down the door to Ritz with baseball bats, so looks like we’re going to try and buy one all legit.  This, and other future upgrades (hint!), cannot always be done for free.  Time to raise money and have fun at the same time.

• Afterparty at Bender’s featuring swag, cakepops, tamales, brownies, grilled food, PBR, and some dumb-ass passed out in the bathroom.
• Prizes from Headline Shirts, Rickshaw Bagworks, Self Edge, the U.S. Federal Reserve and others!
• We’ll also be raffling off a hella badass matte black Valencia Frame from Mission Bicycle Company.  All participants are thrown in the raffle.

Sunday October 4th.  All the awesome details are here.

We have a facebook event too.  Yes, facebook events are lame as shit, but it would be nice to know how much food to bring.  Oh, the horror.

* except Ariel.  Damn edge cases

Dolores Park was truly in fine form this Sunday evening.  As Allan already mentioned, this gang of pendejos sent out for five cases of PBR reinforcements at 6pm.  When they decided to start skateboarding down the hill, it was obvious that we were about to witness the premiere of Destination: Awesome.

I know absolutely nothing about making videos, never mind skateboarding videos.  That said, I hope you love the phat beats I put to the clips of people being awesome.

(youtubes Daily Motion (youtube was hating on my music.  Lame.))

PBR Cycling Cap: you can be trendy for only $12.08 at Box Dog Bikes.