Mission Mission

Poor lil guys. Help Theo out?

[via flyering]

[file photo by me]

Over the weekend I was taking an early morning stroll along Valencia Street when I happened upon an older white man who was knelt down in front of a trash can with a metal scraper going to work on a flyer that had been pasted onto the side. In the process of scraping the flyer off it had torn into pieces and once he was done he stood up, left the pieces on the ground and started walking back to his shiny PT Cruiser. In the past I’ve seen a few different people around the neighborhood doing this sort of this, like this guy, who Nick wrote about previously. I usually dismissed them because I felt sorry for them, as if they were so constantly bothered by flyers on trash cans and utility poles that they had to spend their time doing this. At the same time I have been annoyed that of all the things that take place around them this seemingly harmless thing would be the target of their energy. When I saw this guy go to his fancy car I couldn’t contain myself.

Me: Hey, you just gonna leave that trash on the ground?

Scraper: What?!

Me: You’re not going to pick that up?

Scraper: You see where it came from!

Me: Yeah, a trash can, and then you put it on the ground and can’t even put it in the trash?!

Scraper: (grumbles to self as he goes over to the pile of paper scraps and tosses them in the trash. Then points to garbage on the ground near his car) Why don’t you pick up that?!

Me: I’m not gonna pick up your trash.

Scraper: I didn’t put that there!

Me: Neither did I.

Scraper: (grumbles to self as he gets in his car and zips away to the next block to get out and scrape some more)

So, obviously pasting flyers and artsy things about is against the law, but so is littering. I just don’t get these people.

UPDATE: 1) I don’t know much about cars, and 2) Aaron and AttF remind me of the boringly-named film about vigilantes “Vigilante Vigilante”.

Time to stock up on aluminum foil. Our favorite irate aged Mission dude commenter spotted this guerilla safety alert on 17th and Mission. The overwhelming jargon reads like a Frank Chu poem.

All this seems to coincide with the new cell tower radiation legislation making the rounds. Will we all have iPhone shaped tumors on our left thighs in 25 years? No cell-phone havin’ Ariel Dovas wont. Let’s hope he repopulates the world.

[via Cranky Old Mission Guy]

Update:

Our astute readers have pointed out that these are allegedly put up by the Jejune Institute. A quasi-cultish-LARPing outfit in the financial district.

This flyer on 20th and Harrison not only offers you teen readers vague employment opportunities, it also goes the extra mile and shows you the perks of having money. Namely: piles of cash, a Wii, and Six Flags trips. Other (not pictured) possibilities include bags of candy, Todd McFarlane action figures, and those hats with the propellors on the top.

Go to it, young whippersnappers. And be sure to name drop me so I get the referral bonus.