Mission Mission

Brolores Park killed it this weekend:

“was a little worried about this lil angsted Kurt Cobainbro, until he brought out a 40. Knew that he would be fine, since a 40 is a bro’s best bro.” (link)

(see more at Brolores Park)

This press release does not make a whole lot of sense, but anything involving jousting and fire merits a post and my presence:

JULY 25th
Meet:
9:00 pm at Dolores Park
10:00pm we ride

Chicken Fight Drag Racing
Foot Down
Jousting
Fire!

This collaboration has been spawned by The Derailleurs recent movie production. We will be filming scenes for our upcoming release, slated for viewing in October. We want to give a big shout out to bicycle culture in San Francisco, so you are encouraged to represent your local flavors.
Did we mention there will be prizes for the winners of the competitions?
The ending point is a rent party at FUNLAND, Cyclecide’s recent mini-putt putt endeavor on Bayshore Ave. and it totally lives up to it’s name.

Mayhem, Blood, and Glory!
See you there.
$5-10 s.s. benefit for Funland

The Creme Brulee Man brings news that the Dolores Park Cleanup went well.  More importantly, there is a myth about hipster hill being “disrespectful and dirty?”  What?

“Cleanup went well.  Empowerment over entitlement.  Ps. The myth about the hipster side of the park being disrespectful and dirty..it’s true.”

(link)

If you are not still getting drunk at 5pm this Sunday, consider donating some of your time to help clean up Dolores Park.  And if doing a good thing is not enough motivation for you, Amnesia is offering up drink specials to volunteers after the clean-up so you can continue your Sunday buzz well into the evening.

(link)

Previously on Mission Mission:

• Crappy Easter

The SF Examiner reports that, in an effort to raise revenue, the Recreation and Parks Department is considering issuing permits to local restaurants who want to sell food in the city’s parks.  Tragically, the food with be expensive and probably not help you cure you drug-induced Dolores Park munchies:

“Each vendor would have to pay the department a minimum of $1,000 per month, and there would likely be provisions in the contract that healthy food is served.”

The Crème Brûlée also weighed in:

The Crème Brûlée Guy, a local food vendor who operates outside city regulations and declined to give his name, said it’s admirable that the department is trying to encourage more street vending, but the $1,000 monthly cost is “pretty steep.”

“It would be hard for an independent vendor to make that monthly payment,” said the Crème Brûlée Guy, who has operated in Dolores Park in the Mission district, adding that he intends to investigate purchasing a permit. “It would be a lot easier for a restaurant owner to just send out an employee to sit there for eight hours.”

(link)

They be hatin'

A small group of people, who were wearing funny uniforms and alleging to represent the City of San Francisco and its parks, were out Sunday evening claiming to be enforcing laws established by “the people of San Francisco.”  Their actions included, but were not limited to, disturbing a small dance party due to noise (while a Mustang with no muffler drove by), demanding an owner of a moped leave the park (only after calling some sort of oracle and inquiring if it was illegal to park a motorized vehicle on the grass), and impolitely asking someone to water the grass with a Stella Artois.  Most park-goers failed to recognize the legitimacy of these individuals and continued to drink “the devil’s nectar.”

This bicycle-basket dance party was shut down by individuals claiming to represent the City of San Francisco.

Previous on Mission Mission:

• Crackdown on ‘Adult’ Behavior in Dolores Park?
• Dolores Park Jedi Questions Cops
• Cops Chasing Streakers Through Dolores

Brolores Park has been “getting brocal” in the Mission since May but have only made 3 posts to date.  Hey bros, this is what we call a “comedy goldmine.”  Start posting more.

bro toast [via iphone]

bronus gaybros tanning in background

(link)

This morning, some deeply superficial people unveiled an origami frog pond in Dolores Park.  Check it.

"Ribbit"

If you didn’t make it to the Bicycle Music Festival yesterday, you missed out.

For a little while, there were performances in the middle of Dolores St. Oddly enough, this did not appear to bother the police.

As soon as they tried to setup in the park, the police tried to shut it down. Luckily they were able to get permission to use the movie night's permit and eventually played.

This is the power-generating setup they used. 5 bikes in total; the three far bikes were all connected to the same unit.

After everyone confused this object with a bong, it was revealed to be the power meter. There was a fan at the bottom of the tube whose speed was regulated by the power being generated by the cyclists. As they pedaled, an empty beer can would move up and down the tube--into the red if they were pedaling too much and into the orange if they were not pedaling enough.

I never did figure out if this was a cello case or a coffin...