Mission Mission

This police scanner recording from a couple months ago in response to a reported hookup in Delirium’s bathroom would make a great auto-tuned song.

Dispatch: “Okay, it’s a 311 at 16th and Albion … at The Delirium? And there are people having sex in the bathroom, no description.”
Officer: ” … No sex seems to be happening.”
Dispatch: ” … 311, 16th and Albion, no sex happening.”

Let’s make that happen, someone with musical skillz.

Look at this gem I found in today’s Missed Connections:

“cute white girl with bandanna at delirium saturday night. – 25 (mission district)”:

you had a tshirt and jeans on and a cute little bandanna around your neck. i was wearing jeans, tshirt, and a cute little bandanna too. We kinda matched. You have a tattoo i believe a band around your left bicep. You look more like a harcore kid than a hipster. Your guy friends were totally entertaining, the one in the suit and the aviators totally castillo inflable macked some asian girl right in front of me. You were totally cute. I am smitten. hope you had a good birthday. I’m always at delirium, maybe i’ll see you around.

Link.

Beauty Bar, San Francisco originally uploaded by charlotte.wright

I’ve noticed the droves of young females who spend their nights at Beauty Bar. It’s mainly young undergrads who’ve recently migrated from Southern California to a three-bed share in the Tenderloin. Their version of the Mission is meeting friends at Puerto Allegre for uninteresting margaritas and enchiladas, then shaking their shoulders with some date-rape shirt to some sub-par DJ at Beauty Bar. A few months go by, and they’re standing in the cocaine line at Delirium wondering if the douchebag in the corner with the purple kerchief sitting pretty on his scruffy, smelly neck is checking out her American Apparel sangria-colored tights. Do these tourists make the Mission, or does the Mission make the tourist?