Mission Mission

Everyone’s favorite hero of the park is now more mobile than ever thanks to this sweet new ride he was recently seen rocking at the park (rad colors!).  This can only mean more cold, convenient beer for everyone, for which we are grateful.  One word of advice though, sir–you could definitely cut down on trips if you affixed a basket to that thing!

Just look at him scanning the horizon.  Wherever there are thirsty people, cold beer will be there.

(Thanks Elliot!)

Previously:

• Cold beer, cold justice

A touching moment occurred when these two DIY entrepreneurs crossed paths while in the midst of their rounds during one of the nicest weekends in the park EVER.  The gruff visage of Cold Beer melted away as soon as he noticed Warm Cookie Girl, replaced by an affable grin (and perhaps even a hint of blush–I think he may have a bit of a crush).  The two exchanged pleasantries for a moment before engaging in a friendly barter, with Cold Beer offering a nice cold one and Warm Cookie Girl reciprocating with a delectable morsel of her own.

They consummated their encounter with a friendly cheers (beer to cookie) before proceeding on their separate ways to satiate the needs of the Dolores Park masses.

The zombies got him. The beer and water is still cold though. Enjoy this offer before rigor mortis sets in.

[via the Tens]

Update!

I can do a pretty good impression of his call, and he kind of sounds like a zombie anyway, so I went with it. I had my zombie walk on, and set out hollering… over and over and over… “Cold beer! Cold Water!” Some people had no idea what was going on, but most people recognized who I was supposed to be. And THREE different people mistook me for the man himself, all saying something like, “Oh, my god! He dressed up for Halloween!” One man was convinced I stole CBCW’s shirt. Ganja Treats took my photo! I sold twelve beers and four waters (though I gave away like half of them). But where was the OG CBCW?

And more at Uptown Almanac.

Cold Beer, Cold Competition.

the kind of pic that could kill dolores

By now everyone has already heard about the untimely arrest of Ganja Treats, tossed a nug or two into the compost bin for the homies, and gotten on with their lives, looking ahead in gleeful anticipation to the next weekend in dry heave cavern.  But what if that’s the end of all of it?

Are they only going to be targeting excessive flouting of law like Cold Beer Cold Water up there?  Or is it going to be like this for everybody:

courtesy of S. Pigeon

No one seemed to worry much about anything imminently endangering their quest for fun in the park when word got out last year about this leaked memo to “improve” Dolores Park, dismissing it as just another one of Gideon Kramer’s crazy schemes.  But the City and NIMBY neighbors were patient, knowing that the approaching winter would sanitize the park for a few peaceful months, and everyone would forget about it for a while.  And they prepared.

Now that the days are starting to get longer and warmer, we’re witnessing the initial attempts to define the new “rules” of the park.  They need to be established before the Indian Summer brings out the unmanageable hoards, too dense and populous to effectively police.  No, stories need to get out early about people getting busted in the park so that future visitors will tread carefully, always looking over their shoulder.

Regarding Cold Beer Cold Water, I really feel like his approach endangers the park the most.  The City can enumerate a litany of reasons for which to act:  he could be selling to minors; he’s taking business away from permitted liquor stores in the vicinity; he’s not . . . paying . . . any . . . TAXES!!!  At any rate, we all need to be a little more conscientious and careful, because all the bad Yelp reviews have finally added up, and things are definitely changing.  Anyone go to that last community meeting?

Park with Neighbors courtesy of Telestar Logistics

Ps.  Someone please warn that cute truffle boy before it’s too late!

Previously:

Leaked Memo Reveals Effort to ‘Improve’ Dolores Park

Drinking Beer in the Park

Tiffany Had a Bad Time at Dolores Park, Yelped About It

Dolores Park Aerial

Public Meeting Re: Dolores Park Closure