Mission Mission

Everyone thinks that the secret to our excellent burritos is the ingredients. New theories indicate that it’s all in the upper body strength of the maker.

The recently NYC transplanted sexpigeon has more to say on the matter.

P.S. Pret-ty sure that’s Dos Toros. A place I visited last summer and of which I posted a very similar evaluation concerning proper rolling technique:

…the pierced and tatt’ed young lady who wrapped my burrito really didn’t know what she was doing. Her end folds were way too big pushing all the contents to the middle. She tried to cover things up with an exaggerated triangle fold to bring the edges in, but this just resulted in burrito contents shooting out of the tip at a higher velocity after the second roll. The whole structural integrity of the burrito was therefore compromised, as you can see from the cracking of the overloaded bottom half…

[via sexpigeon]

Yeah we get it, snow is a magical gift of nature that looks pretty, makes passable forts, and can be sledded upon. Then you live in it and within days you realize it’s a pain in the ass. It’s cold. It gets slushy. Your face hurts and you start ducking into random stores on the street just so you can warm up enough to walk further.

Need further convincing?  Check out these luxuries we get to enjoy in our temperate neighborhood microclimate.

Riding bikes

I don’t care how “connected to the road” you feel on a fixed gear ride, nothing is “connecting” you to a thick layer of ice. Check out what those less fortunate cyclists in Seattle have to do:

Yup, those are zip tie tire chains. The innovator Fritz Rice says:

I can accelerate, brake, and corner with aplomb, even on the vile snowpack/sheet ice mix the plows leave in the bike lanes. The zip ties dig nicely into the hardest packed surfaces, but they’re thin enough not to bounce the bike around at low speed or on short pavement sections.

Bragging about being able to accelerate, brake, and corner in the winter? And here we are complaining that our butts get wet because of some puddles. By the way, if you don’t have a fender, we have our own little innovation. Bungee a folded up copy of the Examiner to your rear rack. Works great.

[Dutch Bike Co. via lifehacker]

Native Burritos

If we want a burrito, the process is simple: walk a block (or two if you want the better one), buy a burrito, and enjoy.

Apparently, this is not so easy in ski towns like Mammoth Mountain. Burritos must be imported to you on monstrosities such as this:

Think of the carbon footprint on that sucker. I feel like if I don’t comply with a valid order within 20 seconds, a machine gun turret will open up on the side and lay me to waste. I’ll bet the burritos stink, too.

[Thrillist via Laughing Squid]

Of course, Mountain View. No one throws away half eaten burritos here.

[via Dangerous Minds]

We’ve been hipped to a new blog making the rounds featuring an exhaustive collection of burritos from around Mission (and elsewhere), each standing vertically with the firm posture befitting its pedigree as a MISSION BURRITO.

From the looks of it, this guy has eaten a lot of burritos.  Now, I’m no slouch myself (as Vic can attest having witnessed me eating three super burritos in a single day), but the thought of taking this dude on in a burritopacolypse death match makes me just a little queasy.

All hail the Burrito Whisperer (although he didn’t seem to get the memo about how the dudes at Jarritos are a bunch of jerks).

[Photo by The Byrd]

Previously:

Bobby Flay Can Eat A Big Fat Burrito

The World’s Best at La Taqueria

Coming down from a burrito high is the worst. If you find yourself in NYC needing quick fix, there are apparently options.

When a bartender heard that we were from San Francisco, he raved about Dos Toros in Union Square.

Another staff member who claimed to be from Berkeley (and later proved this by knowing intricate details of student co-op living) confirmed that it’s pretty awesome, so I checked it out. This is a taqueria modeled directly after the bay’s own Gordo Taqueria by two fellows from Berkeley who wanted to bring bay area burritos to NYC.

Here’s what their carnitas burrito looks like:

First of all, the pierced and tatt’ed young lady who wrapped my burrito really didn’t know what she was doing. Her end folds were way too big pushing all the contents to the middle. She tried to cover things up with an exaggerated triangle fold to bring the edges in, but this just resulted in burrito contents shooting out of the tip at a higher velocity after the second roll. The whole structural integrity of the burrito was therefore compromised, as you can see from the cracking of the overloaded bottom half:

This was a far cry from the burrito wrapping mastery one would see at any taqueria here, but I was in a forgiving mood. Maybe she was new here.

Anyway, when I could keep the burrito from spilling everywhere I thought it tasted really good. The carnitas meat was moist and flavorful. If I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the humidity and tourist swarms outsides I probably wouldn’t have thought twice about this being a bay area burrito. It’s really hard to be objective on the matter, of course the Mission in me wanted to hate it, but honestly I didn’t.

One of the guys working there must have picked up on my SF-ness because he asked, “did we pass the test?” Yeah, I think so. In any case, you’re definitely better off there than the Chipotle Mexican Grills that seemed to be everywhere.

One takeaway from this experience is that NYC is clamoring for a good burrito. Just about every NYC resident I talked to had heard of or eaten at Dos Toros. Other SF businesses are opening franchises in the area, so it doesn’t seem out of the question for taquerias to follow. Here’s to El Farolito East in 2011.

I stumbled upon this custom radial map of some guy’s favorite burrito joints and their relative distances from his home. From the looks of it, it’s a map of Santa Clara:

Her son Greg, then 29, had recently introduced her to the “My Maps” plotting feature on Google maps. “He suggested that it would [even] allow me to map his favorite burrito joints, and I took him at his word,” says Brown. “I had radial maps in my head; they seem the most primal, symbolic kind of map. And yet–here’s the beauty and elasticity of maps–perfect for burrito joints!” Wondering about those Korean characters at the bottom? They’re a nod to Greg’s wife, who is Korean. The translation: “I love burritos.”

This looks like something we’d see on Burrito Justice; I’m surprised Johnny0 wasn’t consulted. Although in the Mission we’d definitely have to use feet instead of miles.

(via National Geographic)

Hey, fuck you Bobby Flay. I thought it was jacked up how you jumped up on your cutting board and “raised the roof” after the iron chef competition against Morimoto. Then after you lost, you did it again in Japan on his home turf during the rematch! That time, you knew that knives and cutting boards are sacred to the Japanese. Way to shit on an entire culture, troll.

Flay has been known to strangle Target models while making bro-ey O-faces (dramatization)

Did you know this guy doesn’t even have a high school education? Seriously, he dropped out of HS when he was 17! And get this, he’s being sued by former employees for some shitty labor practices like unfair tip pooling, failure to pay overtime, and refusing to pay legitimate employee incurred expenses! Pretty uncool if you ask me.

This is why you should root for Miguel Escobido from Papalote (24th and Valencia) when he squares off in a burrito battle against Flay on Wednesday’s Throwdown With Bobby Flay. That, and no one makes a better burrito than the Mission (okay, maybe Mexico).

The throwdown airs at 10pm Wednesday 2/17. Set your VCRs. More details here.

Came across this tweet randomly, made me smile.  Sweet victory!  It seems Australians have voted San Francisco as the ultimate authority on burritos.

20 million convicts and kangaroos can’t be wrong!  Suck it, Brock!

A bold new sign from La Taqueria: “The Best Tacos & Burritos in the Whole World.”

The ENTIRE WORLD, you guys.  You would have to leave Earth to find better.

And finally, an end to The Big Burrito Battle.  Suck it, LA.  And the whole world, for that matter.

Thanks to Eric for sending in.