Mission Mission

As you most likely know, earlier this week Nate Silver’s FiveThirtyEight proclaimed the Mission’s La Taqueria to be the makers of the best burrito in the country (and world?). Here is the line today.

Dear @FiveThirtyEight: This is line for La Taqueria burritos today, c/o friend on the scene. This is all your fault. pic.twitter.com/G8zJ3jzvwr

— Hannah Levintova (@H_Lev) September 12, 2014

[photo by Gene Goldstein-Plesser]

In sf Not sure about this one.. pic.twitter.com/fbxl1hzkAn

— james daniel bowien (@dannybowien) March 19, 2014

Even Danny Bowien isn’t sure that this hybrid can work. Remember when mashups were just songs that played together?

In related news, is anyone else psyched about the possibility of a long distance drone airlifting this Mission Cantina burrito back to the Mission??

Ladies & Gentlemen. The Mission Cantina Burrito pic.twitter.com/squ2OSP0SM

— devour | nyc (@devourNYC) March 15, 2014

Yesterday we heard about a burrito vending machine and a year old article in Esquire proclaiming El Farolito’s burrito to be the most life changing in America* made the rounds, sparking some inevitable backlash. Today the ol’ HuffPo brings us a video of an amazing burrito cake made by a bakery in Portland** for a wedding.

Watching this makes me hungry and grossed out at the same time. My brain and stomach can’t reconcile what I’m seeing.***

*I would say the super quesadilla suiza is more likely to be life changing. Also, I’m not actually sure how either food changes anyone’s life.

** Artisan Baking Company, name wouldn’t fly in SF because EVERYTHING IS ALREADY ARTISAN.

*** Doesn’t that burrito cake look angry? Like it’s gonna angrily eat you?

Our friend Meli sent this one our way, wondering how long till these show up in Dolores Park: The Blandito, the burrito pillow.

Thanks, Meli!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ezq_96rookw

As we mentioned last week, the final installment of Vice TV’s Fresh off the Boat: Bay Area series involves burritos. Vice TV’s Eddie Huang concludes his Bay Area tour by sampling several of our unofficial official local dish, comparing them to Asian food, and crowning a favorite. I wish he would have sampled more burritos, but let’s be real, burritos are huge, how many could one possibly eat in a day?

Looks like Daly City’s Koi Palace has caught on to this whole burrito fusion thing. Check out the “Shredded Duck Burrito”:

Its “tortilla” is a pan-fried scallion pancake, and its insides are peking duck-style shredded duck and cucumber slivers. There’s plum sauce for dipping.

It tasted great, though calling it a “burrito” might be a stretch. Where are the closed-off ends? It’s more of a wrap, I’d say.  Still, I haven’t seen a duck burrito since Mission Chinese’s Chinito (RIP) which brought back some fond memories.

And before you go complaining, “waaaah don’t tell people about my favorite ‘secret’ dim sum spot” ’cause it’s too late. The lines have been crazy long there for years.

UPDATE: Mission Chinese Food insider Chris Ying weighs in…

@missionmission Dude the duck burrito is OG. It is from whence @missionstfood‘s flatbreads came. Also on KP’s menu: the chinito’s dad.

— Chris Ying (@chrisyingz) September 5, 2012

Earlier today, Andrew stuck his nose up at a Korean rendition of our official neighborhood dish. Fortunately, that burrito is not representative of all burrito offerings in Korea.

This is a burrito from the Taco Habanero truck in Hongdae, and it was one of my favorite things in Seoul (and there are a lot of good things in Seoul). This wonderful grilled tortilla pocket is filled with seasoned rice, kimchi, Korean BBQ, and the tastiest habanero salsa.

Yeah yeah, I know what you’re thinking. It’s not a burrito. It doesn’t look like a burrito, at least not in the cylindrical form we all know and love. And yeah, there’s no beans. And there’s all that Korean stuff. Fine. Geometry, semantics, and content aside though, this “burrito” was so freakin’ delicious.

Here’s the truck, in case you’re ever in Hongdae and happen to work up an appetite.

[Photos via Taco Habanero and just_a_cheeseburger]

I would argue that New Yorkers have no business enforcing etiquette on a dish they have so far failed at. Also, it’s pronounced like “Bur-Eat-Oh”, the last syllable there a closer approximation to the true reaction to a New York burrito.

[via Brendan]

I’m probably (hopefully) not the first person to have thought of this, but it turns out that a teacup or mug of an appropriate circumference makes the perfect burrito stand, for those of you who like to multitask while you lunch.

UPDATE!!!  CUCO’S is now open on Saturdays!  Get thee there now!

There’s always a ton of bluster on the internet over the quest to crown the best burrito in the city, but somehow lost in the discussion among the heavyweights such as El Farolito, Papalote, and Cancun stands the family-owned and operated CUCO’S in the Lower Haight.  Here, you can find the greatest veggie burrito ever imagined, a fried plantain masterpiece that’s so good it’s even been known to force renowned carnivores to rethink their status.  Despite being one of the aforementioned meat-eaters myself (although my Okcupid profile might read “mostly vegetarian”), I have no qualms with stating that this burrito rivals a super al pastor from Farolito or mole-what-have-you from Papalote solely based on its own merit.  But don’t just take my word for it; check out what the experts at Burritophile have to say:

In no uncertain terms, Cuco’s plantain burrito is the best vegetarian burrito in the city. Maybe the world . . . If you’re really lucky, Mrs. Cuco will cook the fruit long enough for the edges to get carmelized — chewy, sweet goodness . . . The fruit lends an element of flavor and texture to the mix that you just don’t find in most grilled veggie burritos. The sweet, earthy taste of the plantains is a perfect match for the rest of the ingredients.

He’s also not kidding about the Mrs. Cuco part.  This is a real family-owned venture, with the Mrs. Cuco handling the plantains while her daughters help with the other stuff.  I believe I’ve even caught a glimpse of Mr. Cuco back there too.  The orders are always taken with a smile, and they take the time to make sure you get all the options right.  Mrs. Cuco will usually even offer a playful verbal jab if elect to go with the non-spicy salsa!  She’ll usually remember you as well, and will often inquire about the well-being of your friends or family if you come in alone when she’s used to seeing you with a specific group.  This might sound rather banal, but it really goes a long way to contribute to the family atmosphere of the place.

The price is also splendidly cheap, which brings us to the one drawback: the limited hours of operation.  Owing to the family-run nature of the place, you can only get a CUCO’S burrito from 12pm-9pm Monday through Friday, as the taquerestaurant is closed late night and on weekends.  Nonetheless, you’d be doing yourself a severe disservice to live in this city without trying the plantain burrito at least once.  I know what you’re thinking: “The best burrito in the city is a veggie burrito from Lower Haight?”

Well, yes, it is.  Now do it to it.

[Burrito photo by dapperdanj]

[Exterior Photo]