Mission Mission

Calling all unemployed English majors! There are jobs waiting for you in the dynamic world of signage proof reading!

[file photo by me]

According to SFWeekly, late Saturday night/early Sunday morning police responded to multiple calls involving an 80-200 person bar fight near 16th and Albion. When the officers arrived on scene, within minutes, the fight was nowhere to be found. Not a trace.

[file photo by me]

Here are some possible explanations for such an occurrence:

• Ghosts – the people who were fighting were actually ghosts and they disappeared.

• Fighting Runners – people who fight as they run; everybody was running away from and/or into the fight at the same time and at the same speed such that the fight remained relatively static while moving through space.

• West Side Story Brawl – the patrons from Monk’s Kettle and the boozers from The Kilowatt exited their respective establishments at the same moment, leading to a Sharks v. Jets style face off. Just as they began snapping at each other menacingly, the coppers were called and a little kid in a newsboy’s cap ran out into the middle of the street yelling “Scatter, it’s Officer Krupke!” The two crowds quickly dispersed into cabs and alleyways.

So, one of those three things happened.

UPDATE: Somehow a plausible fourth option is being suggested in the comments: an actual fight that originated inside Gestalt, involving a man swinging a shovel at multiple people. Sounds pretty crazy. I’d get the hell out of there in a hurry too.

He sure looks pumped!

[via SFist]

“What thing?”, you ask. Well, isn’t it obvious?

Our pal C’mon Pony spotted this Sacramento Bee feature in a news rack over the weekend, so we decided to look it up online. It’s a pleasant read, and, surprisingly I guess, hipped me to something I had no idea existed:

Another unexpected pleasure (at least for the customers, if not the proprietors) is finding four specialty bookstores housed above a discount paint store on Mission Street. To enter, you must find a call-buzzer intercom, state your intentions (“Uh, to, like, browse for books”) and wait to get buzzed in. Then you climb two flights of stairs and get to Vahalla Books (first-edition fiction), then climb one more flight to the troika of Bolerium Books (radical politics), Meyer Boswell Books (collectible law tomes) and Libros Latinos (scholarly Latin American and Caribbean books).

Upon entering Bolerium (motto: “Fighting Commodity Fetishism With Commodity Fetishism Since 1981″), co-owner John Durham looks at you with a mock stink-eye.

“Oh, you found us,” he said, crestfallen. “We don’t get many walk-ins.”

Who knew? Read on.

[Photo by C'mon Pony]

His name is Louis Vuitton apparently, really.

[via klfitzsimmons]

Ken Ken Ramen is hosting a 3-day “Asian night market” style event with local artisinal crafts and food vendors at their space on 18th St.:

We love Asian Night Markets full of interesting stalls, vendors, food, and craziness — so much so that we’re turning our noodle factory into a three night Mission Night Market! Set up next door to Ken Ken Ramen at 3376 18th St, Mission Night Market will run Thursday, Friday & Saturday, hosting independent vendors, crazy artists, and more. Themes and vendors will range from Surfers to Vintage to Palm Readers to Jewelers to Japanese Dessert Makers & more!

Look for a wild selection of local artists setting up shop and hawking their goods at this evening bazaar. Three nights only! March 8-10 2012. 6pm to Late.

Selected vendors and more include:

• Bobaguys
• ScuttleFish Vanagon Surf Mobile
• SanFlan Japanese Desserts
• Palm Reading
• The Gypsie Shop by Curator Amanda Krampf
• Alite Camping Equipment
• JackKnife Outfitters
• Revolver Select
• Cureall Vintage
• Auger + Ore Jewelry
• Webster Reading Room
• Roppongi Records
• Aoi Yamaguchi
• Kitsch Art Gallery
• Valerian Jewelry
• Dillon Montara Clothing
• Adam Lam Furniture

Nice try guys, but we all know it’s not a real Asian night market without knock-off Adidas shoes and booth after booth of iPhone cases.

This goes down at 3376 18th Street 6pm to late Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (March 8th, 9th, 10th).

A couple weeks back, we reported on this curious scene outside a neighborhood residence. Over the weekend, one of the culprits wrote in to explain what had actually happened:

Oh dear…this is my front yard. Well, it was before my house was evicted from our beautiful Victorian on 21st Street. We had to toss our condiments in a fury and the recycling junkies spilled a bunch of stuff on the sidewalk in the process of scavenging. We didn’t clean it up because, well, who the fuck cares. We got evicted after all because they sold the house for a cool 900K. RIP 2624. This and the sawed off stop sign moped theft on the corner will go down in MissionMission infamy…

Bummer! (And yeah, that epic moped theft was a doozie too.)

[Photo by Talent Is An Asset]

This is why we can’t have nice things. And by nice things, I mean nice weather (see yesterday). I don’t know if our fragile neighborhood can withstand any more earth-shaking developments, but I totally prefer this to tornadoes that eviscerate entire towns.

I think. Then again I’m pretty durnk.