Mission Mission

Some news from our pal Lizzy (who recently left California, incidentally):

I was just in a coffee shop with a lot of succulents and salvaged wood, serving Stumptown Coffee, and overheard someone saying “what I’ve heard is, if you leave California, you have to get used to not being special anymore.” [link]

Yup. Guess I won’t leave.

[Shirt by Cool Try]

A.) Ashleyanne is the best, B.) This seems like a chill opportunity to check out Slate and suss out whether or not it will truly be “The Mission’s newest hangout…” Here’s some info:

Incredible booze selection! Fun bartenders! Lots of room for dancing! Pool table! And sweet, sweet jams!

2925 16th Street
(A block from BART)

Expect rare 45′s filled with FUNK movers, rare SOUL screamers, and R&B groovers all night long for your dancing pleasure.

RSVP and invite your friends!

Our boy Ryan De La Hoz (who in his other capacity as t-shirt/zine company Cool Try produced such hits as the Bart Simpson + BART shirt and pizza/hamburger shirt) just got  in touch:

My solo show opens tonight Thursday 6 – 9 pm at Four Barrel.

***Basically its one of the rare times when you can drink free beer at Four Barrel***Or Coffee of course.

WELCOME TO YOUR DOOM: New Works by Ryan De La Hoz

Opening reception Thursday Oct 4th 6 – 9 PM

The show will consist of 24 pieces including drawings, cut paper, textiles, and sculpture works.

Show runs Oct 4th – Nov 1st 2012

RSVP and invite your friends! Here’s a sample:

hey @lyft – what’s the plan for the pink furry mustaches come rainy season?

— binkitybonk (@binkitybonk) October 4, 2012

@binkitybonk ‘stachebrellas? — lyft (@lyft) October 4, 2012
 

But seriously, Lyft, whatcha gonna do?

The RPS gals are popping up at the Ace Hotel in Portland tonight as part of the Bold Rush:

We’ll have American Tripps’ Berlin-style ping-pong for folks to play with music from DJ Identical Twin of M’Lady’s Records spinning lots of soul and dance tunes. Rice Paper Scissors will be on hand to feed the crowd with two types of Vietnamese Bo Bia (spring rolls).

Three types, actually: vegan, veggie and sausage-and-egg. And the party is free! Invite your friends (or RSVP)!

Yum!

Boy, you sure blew it by not ponying up $7 million to buy that crazy church-turned-house across from the park last year. Now it’s gone to a boring society-benefiting cause like education.

Don’t worry, your second chance may be on the way. Reclaimed-church mogul Siamak Akhavan (who also converted 601 Dolores), hopes to give a 4-unit residential makeover to the Second Church of Christ, Scientist on 20th and Dolores. Yes, the dome would be converted to a unit and good luck finding dome-friendly picture frames.

Fun fact: Christian Science has absolutely nothing to do with actual science.

More over at Curbed SF.

[photo via wallyg]

Late last night, some monocot-hater(s) sliced through the trunk of one of the palm trees near 20th and Church. Shortly after being discovered this morning, the damaged tree was deemed an immediate hazard and was taken down at around 2pm.

It almost looks as though the intention was to have the tree fall onto the tracks, as if the J-Church needs any more delays.

I can say from, err, personal field research, that the cops cleared everyone out of the park playground at midnight, so this probably happened after that unless these guys were super-quiet about it.

More info over at Dolores Park Works.

[photo via Dolores Park Works]

Just a little update on those cute kittens from yesterday. Adopt them already!

[via Meesha]

There’s a mystery afoot, and Ros, a resident near 25th/Folsom, wants to know if anyone has any idea what’s going on:

I wanted to see if you knew what the deal is with the lone parrot outside of what used to be The Wing Foundation (http://www.thewingfoundation.org).

This one-foot-plus long bird seems to have been squawking a whole bunch more as of late. It’s in a large white cage, on Folsom St, with a sign attached telling passers-by that it bites. This biteyness, combined with the endless squawking have led to my workmates and I to nicknaming it ‘Jerk Bird’. Sorry Jerk Bird, I’m sure you have a nicer name.

In a way, I don’t blame it for being a jerk – I would be too if I were left alone in a cage with no shade, on Folsom St, for two 90-something deg days consecutively. Secondly, it looks like The Wing Foundation has closed up shop – the house is for sale, the site has an apologetic message and all the other birds seem gone.

My neighbor tells me that the bird is worth $20,000. I don’t know where he got that figure.

Perhaps this injustice is what all those wild parrots have been squawking about for god knows how long?  And seriously, nobody better get any clever ideas about getting cashing in a $20k feathered payday….

I got an idea for a new musical about the rapidly changing neighborhood that surrounds us.

A couple in their late twenties move to San Francisco’s Mission District from Iowa. Stacy and Sam had been running Stacy’s family’s restaurant, but when they read an article in the New York Times (online) about Valencia Street’s fabulous new foodie explosion they decide to risk is all to start a new life out West. They get an apartment in a little alley off of Dolores Park (Dorland), purchase a struggling appliance store on Valencia Street and 21st with the help of a loan from Stacy’s parents. Here they set about to create their dream of bringing more artisan cocktails and delicate nibbles to the hot, young Bay Area entrepreneurs in a storefront setting with the comfort of small town Iowa.

Then I guess some kind of conflict would have to enter in, like they realize that a homeless person that they’re trying to get arrested for sleeping on their doorstep is actually a long lost uncle? Maybe then the narrative can shift off of them for the second act and onto the homeless uncle, as Sam and Stacy realize that they’re not the center of the universe. We dive backwards into the history of the uncle, Steven, and how he came here from Iowa in the eighties, a Vietnam vet looking to start a new chapter in his life, lived on Haight Street, abandoned by the government that sent him off to war, got burned by a girl and/or best friend and watched his life collapse.

Maybe we end with some hint at the fact that the cycles continue endlessly, some kind of twist either in the future or further in the past.

Anyone else getting some good song ideas? I am.

UPDATE: In the comments, “Whataperv” makes a great addition to the story (did I mention Do The Right Thing is one of my favorite movies?). Now let’s get some songs written.

. . . a Latina couple (two women) the same age as Sam and Stacy apply for essentially the same thing – they want to open a healthy taqueria to provide affordable, nutritious food to those who cannot afford a $13 hamburger. Born in the Mission, they scrimp and save working several jobs trying to realize their dreams. Despite having a good business plan and start up capital, they have trouble getting loans because of their lack of credit history (as juxtaposed to Sam and Stacy, who have no problem relying on their family and their good credit to get the money they need). Stymied by their lack of financial privilege, the two decide to start with a street cart, which they dutifully push up and down Mission street every day and night, trying to raise the cash, while also trying to provide relatively healthy soft tacos to the neighborhood. Act three ends when two angry Google employees with Stanford MBAs stumble drunkenly out of Sam and Stacy’s establishment and into the food cart, one of them burning themselves on the grill in the scuffle. This leads the drunken, white men to tell the two women to “Go back to their own countries.” The very end of the act shows Stacy and Sam down at City Hall trying to get “disruptive” food carts banned from the sidewalks in front of their business because they’re driving away paying customers and creating issues.

In Act 4, we see that the homeless veteran witnessed the whole exchange. For whatever reason (maybe because a new non-profit has opened down the street and he’s started receiving help from an NYU educated, Brooklyn born African American man), he decides to try to turn his life around and begins organizing a coalition of homeless and working class individuals to respond to the rampant gentrification of his neighborhood. The play climaxes when a protest in front of Sam and Stacy’s store is met with violence from a contingent of drunk partiers from Walnut Creek. The police are called and, as they’re about to arrest the lesbian Latinas, the homeless guy and everyone else assembled, Sam and Stacy emerge from their under-siege business and set the record straight – resulting in the arrest of the Walnut Creek partiers. This act of reconciliation paves the way for a partnership between Sam and Stacy and the latinas in a new restaurant on Valencia, newfound respect for the homeless man, who goes on to run for the Board of Supervisors, etc. etc.

Basically “Crash II: Mission Stories.”