Mission Mission

This all started when I sang 45 songs in May and wanted to brag about it, but also, I just wholeheartedly want to give props to the local karaoke scene (and karaoke scenes around the world) for making me feel so good all the time. This month I sang an Ian Dury song for goodness’ sake! Can you imagine!?

1. I Will Follow — U2
2. Hit Me with Your Rhythm Stick — Ian Dury
3. All My Friends — LCD Soundsystem
4. Ape Man — The Kinks
5. Leave It Alone — NOFX
6. Perfect Day — Lou Reed
7. Could You Be Loved — Bob Marley
8. It’s Oh So Quiet — Björk
9. Tubthumping — Chumbawumba
10. Pompeii — Bastille
11. Boots — Nancy Sinatra
12. Wannabe — Spice Girls

In particular, I want to mention KJ Eileen, who, in a crazy twist, doesn’t have a website! I think she does last Fridays of the month at Bender’s and some Sundays at Maggie McGarry’s in North Beach? Anyway thanks to her I got to sing the Kinks, NOFX and Lou Reed in one 2-hour period! I couldn’t believe my luck!

Also, “Pompeii” is exactly as fun as you’d imagine. Thanks, DJ Purple!

Late Saturday night my buddy Malcolm bought nine bacon-wrapped hot dogs for a party of four people, only two of which were actually hungry. I ate half of one and took another to go. I popped it in the fridge and forgot about it until just now. And now I’m hungry.

Let’s talk logistics: I’ve got a can of Tecate and a bag of maple-bacon Kettle Chips on the side, and a vintage KronnerBurger placemat/menu in case there’s any spillage. And I’m listening to the Gooch Palms album for moral support.

I’ll update this post as the project progresses. Okay here I go…

UPDATE (12:54): All the fixins’! Looks not too bad. Smells great! Feels real cold, fresh from the fridge.

UPDATE (12:58): First bite! Tastes great! Plenty of mayo, which is a must. Cold hot dog basically tastes like bologna, as you know. Not bad! Into it!

Yum! It even looks good!

DAMN, the Gooch Palms rule! You should read my post about them from over the weekend in case you missed it.

UPDATE (1:01): Uh oh, a momentary twinge of heartburn!

UPDATE (1:03): First bite of jalapeno! Still nice and hot!

UPDATE (1:04): I’ve got two likes on my Instagram post about this undertaking, and two comments, one of which, from my pal Christina, who always tells it like it is, is: “Gross tho.” Yup!

I’m really glad I’ve got this Tecate.

UPDATE: (1:06): Just kidding, I’m totally loving this. I’m really surprised the bun is totally intact. Virtually zero sog. Even though there is a LOT of mayo (and other sauces and vegetable-related moisture), none of it got into the bun! Science!

UPDATE (1:08): The heartburn comes and goes.

The maple-bacon Kettle Chips pairing was unplanned, I just happened to have them lying around, but it’s pretty good. Contrasting the savory bacon dish with the sweeter bacon dish is fun.

UPDATE (1:09): I just burped! And man, it was a big one!!

UPDATE (1:13): The burp cleared out plenty of room for my to finish the rest of the dog. Here’s proof I’m almost done:

UPDATE (1:15): I had to spit out some inedible bacon gristle, no big deal. About to take that last bite!

UPDATE (1:16): Taking the final bite as, appropriately, the Gooch Palms beautiful album closer “Don’t Cry” plays. Yum! Swallowed it and burped again!

Okay, I did it! No ill effects really. I can’t believe it took me a whole 31-minute album to eat a hot dog, but whatever. Seriously, listen to this album, it’s on Spotify and stuff.

I guess I’ll update again if there’s any blowback, but I don’t anticipate any.

Thanks for your support!

I was at a party in a backyard yesterday and I watched five people in a row (myself included) eat a Casa Chicas organic yellow tortilla chip and immediately go, “Daaaaamn, what kind of chip was that??” They were really good. You can get them at Rainbow Grocery.

Muni fares increased yesterday.

So, via old-school San Franciscans Shimshang and Crazycrab, this old-school hacked billboard:

Boy, imagine a time when billboards were owned by a little company founded by two Northern California boys, Foster and Kleiser, rather than international media conglomerates like CBS and Clear Channel. More about all that here.

According to Capp Street Crap, the iconic porn shop is revamping for a less seedy look, apparently taking design cues from Good Vibrations:

The decades-old shop near 17th and Mission streets is also being renamed Mission Secrets, all part of an effort, according to manager James Aragon, to attract more female clientele. This week, the store’s previously blue exterior was being painted beige, the interior had been lightened up, and a worker had taken down its trademark “Adult Superstore” sign. Those giant, suggestive and utterly ridiculous pictures of a man and woman that used to flank the front door, had also been covered up.

Aragon said the remodel is not to draw in more of the Mission’s moneyed residents, just to make the store more inviting to passersby.

“You have your good and bad,” he said, adding that more police presence seems to have brought more weekend foot traffic to his stretch of Mission Street. “During the weekends you have a lot of people, a lot of women walking around.”

According to Aragon, the store has begun carrying hosiery, more sex toys geared to women, and will soon have a display in the front window with a mannequin modeling the lingerie it has begun selling. On Friday, the area behind the cashier had been wallpapered and two fake orchids hung on shelves on either side of an ornate mirror. With upgrades, however, comes higher costs. Aragon said the store’s viewing booths will go from $5 to $10 and there will be a $15 all-day pass.

Boy, I’m gonna miss seeing that iconic storefront and signage from the Secret Alley. Read on for more photos and a quote about the “riff raff” in the neighborhood.

[First photo via Yelp]

Local blogger anadromy tells us about his current living situation:

Some bees have made a hive inside one of my bedroom walls. I guess I’ll have to tell the landlord about it but I’ve been too busy lately. At night, the bees make a faint ticking sound above my head. I think it’s the sound of them doing whatever it is they do inside the insulation. The sound is almost exactly like the sound of rain and in the middle of the night, I wake up and forget about the bees and I get sort of happy because I love the sound of rain and we’re in the middle of a terrible drought and really need rain here. Then I wake up and remember it was just the bees. [link]

Well that’s pretty pleasant. Much more so than all those unexplained bee attacks.

[Photo by Sami Lynch]

Jefferson from Mission Bicycle Company recently contacted us with the following warning:

There are so many bikes stolen in this city it’s ridiculous. Most stolen bikes were:

• Not locked up at all but left in a “secure” places like a garage.
• Not locked up with a quality lock (cheap generic u-lock or cable lock)
• Not locked up properly (Front wheel only, locked up to a wooden rail, etc.).

This past week we saw two bikes stolen within around 24 hour hours of each other. Both locked up properly, with quality u-locks. Both were twisted open.

• Wednesday 8/27  8:30 PM – 3:00 AM – 18th Street between Church & Sanchez
• Thursday 8/28  10:00 PM – 12:30 AM – Alabama between 19th & 20th.

If anyone hears of a bike stolen using a similar method, I would encourage them to file a police report and send a tweet to https://twitter.com/SFPDBikeTheft.

Let’s work together to nail “The Twister”!!!

[via Emily]

[via Alicia]