Mission Mission

Chortle!  My fave Handjobbin’ in a long while:

Avoid the vag, read Handjobbin’!

This is the stuff handjobs were made for.

Submit your own, girl hands.

Shit!  This is like that Ice Cube song but the exact opposite:

One person was killed and another injured in a shooting Friday night in San Francisco’s Mission District, police said.

The shooting happened at about 7:10 p.m. in the area of 24th and Shotwell streets, according to police. A male victim was killed and a second victim was injured, police said.

Ack!  Be careful, everybody.  I mean it.

(From KTVU)

(via The Tens SF)

Jared Leto.  Definitely Jared Leto.

(Sign at the J&J Salon on Mission/24th)

Everyone’s favorite one-trick pony will be performing live  at the Make-Out Room for four days straight starting this Sunday!

Hey now! It’s Jonathan Richman!

This manchild will be playing mere blocks from your home September 20th-23rd, so catch him while he’s hot.

Do you care?  Did you ever?  San Franciscans often shit humongous bricks over this guy, I’m curious to hear if this is still the case.

Green & Tonic is having a pub crawl this Saturday, September 19th through the three “greenest” bars in the Mission: Doc’s Clock, Casanova, and Elixir.

The start-up works with bars to reduce waste, water, and energy usage, and to encourage them to carry local and sustainable brews and spirits.

The event – called the Get Zerowasted Pub Crawl – starts at Doc’s at 4 p.m., moves to Casanova at 5:30, then ends at Elixir at 7.  Included: drink discounts, a green auction, a sustainable scavenger hunt.

Interesting idea for an organization – so bourgie boho!  And I’m curious to hear how they came up with Doc’s Clock, Casanova, and Elixir as our three greenest bars.

One time I saw a naked girl wearing only high heels sitting at the bar at Doc’s.  I guess that’s pretty green.

Hey dudes!  I purchased a bottle of Kombucha at the 23rd and Guerrero Market last week for $2.75 – the cheapest I’ve seen in the Mission so far.

Question: has anyone found the ‘buch cheaper?  Holler in the comments section; lowest bid gets a free cheap-ass Kombucha.

[And don't be a dick and tell me to make my own at home, I have neither the time nor the fermentation know-how.]

Anytime weddings  and self-divorce at 25th and Valencia.  Get one of each!

(Photo from xojy)

What’s my favorite thing about Herbivore (Valencia at 21st)?  Everything!

Besides that, I’m pretty into this:

Did you catch that li’l trompe l’oeil (heh!  sorry.) on their menu?

Both the Sweet & Sour and Coconut Noodle soups have the exact same ingredients listed, with a few items in a different order and distracting line breaks.   Those sneaky herbivores!

Fortunately,  the soups are different, and delicious.  The Sweet & Sour tastes like hot Skittle soup, in the best way possible.

But to end on a sour note (hyuck hyuck!), if you got your hands on that coupon from Chase Bank a few weeks ago, the thing unfortunately expired last Sunday.  I found that one out the hard way.

As someone without a tap-tap-tap smartphone, I often use GOOG-411 to dial up local establishments while away from the www.   Boop beep bamp bompbomp… I’ll connect you!

This past weekend, unfortch, attempts at reaching Beretta (Valencia at 23rd) were all sorts of messed.

Voice search pronunciations carried out included: brrrr-eh-tah, bee-reh-duh, beh-re-TA!, and so forth.  Attempts were made by three parties of mixed age, gender, and socioeconomic status.  No dice!

Goog did, however, pull up the following results:

• Goodwill (wha?)
• Baraka (almost!)
• Piranha (eh.)
• Ghirardelli Square (pronounced: grrr-ARRGHHH… delisquare)

Sure, okay, I’ll dine at Goodwill.

READERS: Try this one at home! If you figure out the correct way to pronounce “Beretta” for GOOG-411ing purposes, make me a reservation. The caponatina with burrata (#56 on the 7×7 list) makes eggplant relevant again (sorry, eggplant).