Mission Mission

This police scanner recording from a couple months ago in response to a reported hookup in Delirium’s bathroom would make a great auto-tuned song.

Dispatch: “Okay, it’s a 311 at 16th and Albion … at The Delirium? And there are people having sex in the bathroom, no description.”
Officer: ” … No sex seems to be happening.”
Dispatch: ” … 311, 16th and Albion, no sex happening.”

Let’s make that happen, someone with musical skillz.

YOU BE THE JUDGE!

Both possibilities present their own set of unexplained questions.  For instance, what does a wookie taste like?  Some would even say that Star Wars condoms are themselves a paradox, but given enough time and enough galaxies (some far far away), odds are that they would eventually find their way onto some Jedi’s lightsaber.

The Karaoke Underground is coming to San Francisco next month and I am very excited. I gushed about it at length last week, but I also really like this video of punk and indie superstar Ted Leo performing a Beat Happening song at a KU event a few years back:

That’s a pretty good Calvin, right?

Sing some Beat Happening, or some Ted Leo, or any number of your lifelong favorite punk and indie hits this coming April 12th at Rickshaw Stop, when Karaoke Underground comes to SF for the very first time. Advance tickets are available here.

RSVP and invite your friends!

(And/or hoodie.)

Get it online here, or just look for Amos out on the sidewalk.

[via Amos on Instagram]

Not open yet, but open soon, just in time for BASEBALL SEASON.

[via Paolo]

They’re releasing their famous “Bike to Books” map as a bigass poster for you to put on your wall. Here’s the deal:

Remember the Bikes to Books Map that highlighted a bike tour connecting streets that the San Francisco Board of Supervisors renamed after 13 authors and artists? Did you say to yourself, “Oh man I loved the map, but I really wish it were bigger and had more things on it?” If so, you are in luck! Behold and gaze your eyes upon Bikes to Books 2.0, The Poster!

It’s bigger! At 3 feet by two feet, it contains over 863 square inches of history!

It’s better! It now contains 31 individuals and entities, and over 50 points of historical and literary interest, and an awesome comparison timeline that shows who lived and worked in San Francisco at the same time.

It’s faster! It’s not folded! You can readily hang it on your wall! But you’d better hurry to catch this limited run. Be the first to get one of these maps at our release party at Benders on Wednesday, March 18th, 7-9 pm. It’s like a giant Burrito Justice post that you can hold in your hands! Details below!

And tonight is the release party, at Bender’s, 7-9pm. Have a beer with a big Burrito himself!

[via Burrito Justice]

Well, this is some GRAND news!  Instead of having to close their doors for good in May as they previously feared, they’re going full Voltron:

First, Lost Weekend, in partnership with Oakland’s 1234Go! Records, will be relaunching the Valencia Street location on April 18th (Record Store Day 2015) as a new video store/record store hybrid, ready to serve all of your physical media needs. VHS, DVD, cassettes & vinyl – all in one place – with an expanded staff of enthusiastic fans ready to recommend the best in new or classic music & film.

A little bit of Oakland is just what the Mission needs right now!

Read on for the rest of the plot.

(Thanks Andy!)

One of my favorite local bloggers, anadromy, just got back from a month of travels — a month of travels which made SF’s problems a little more glaring.

And like, I know everybody’s sick of gripes about SF, but this list is particularly heartfelt and well written, and has a great denouement.

Here’s one good part:

Fuck the rapidly dwindling number of oddballs, weirdos and creative types in this city. And no, I’m not talking about the fucking bourgeois posers who work square jobs all year and then act like adolescent shitheels during Burning Man. I’m talking about the people who made different choices in life. Maybe bad choices. Choices they regretted. People who did not take SAT prep courses. People who did not spend their childhoods striving and climbing and obsessing over their class rank and extracurricular activities. Or people who did do those things but then realized how stupid and meaningless they are. People who play in bands. People who didn’t go to art school but still make art. Jesus, I probably sound like an asshole right now. But it’s real. I remember a different city with different kinds of people. True diversity, economically, racially, you name it. Trust me. What we’ve got now is a pale shadow of it. And it bums me out.

Read on.

[Photo by Stokemonster]

🌁 #hyperlapse

A video posted by Beamer Wilkins (@beamercola) on Mar 9, 2015 at 10:41pm PDT

I first stumbled upon The Karaoke Underground doing a Google search for “replacements can’t hardly wait karaoke,” because no karaoke place seems to have that song even though it’s like the best song.

As I scrolled through their songbook, seeing songs by Jay Reatard and Cock Sparrer and the Detroit Cobras and the Thermals and NOFX, I was stupefied. I was sure it was some kind of prank, that it was too good to be true.

But it’s true.

A few months later I dragged a couple of my best friends to Austin to see for ourselves, and I had one of the best nights of my life, singing “Always Wanting More,” “Take ‘Em All,” “Pillar of Salt,” “Bad Girl,” and “Lori Meyers” — each and every one a song I’d never in my wildest dreams dreamed I’d get to sing at karaoke.

And it’s not just some jerk playing YouTube videos. Creators and hosts Kaleb and Hannah have made every single one of their 900+ karaoke tracks from scratch, and they’ve even gotten the blessings of certain punk rock superstars along the way. It’s a labor of love and it shows, and it will probably be one of the best nights of your life too.

One month from today, on Sunday, April 12th, 2015, KU is coming to SF for the very first time. And it’s at Rickshaw Stop, so you get to perform on a stage the actual Thermals performed on! And THE SONICS performed there last year for goodness sake! I’m gonna pass out.

Browse the (completely mind-blowing) songbook and then RSVP and invite your friends.

(I’m helping out with some promo and logistics, and I’m tremendously excited about it, so don’t be surprised if I write about it a bunch more in the coming weeks.)