Mission Mission

Didn’t get your fill of hackneyed hipster humor this week? You poor thing! Well check this baby out. In this video, a couple of young vacationers want to know what this whole San Francisco “hipster” thing is about, consult the ultimate hipster guide (Lonely Planet travel books, of course), then hit up such hipster hot-spots as Blazing Saddles bicycle rentery, Ritual Coffee Roasters, Aquarius Records, and Dolores Park. This stuff writes itself!

Of course, the first things I thought when I saw this were,”uhhh, that is not a single speed bike,” and, “aren’t those shots of Mars Vintage and Rasputin in Berkeley?” I guess that makes me a you-know-what-ster.

Our pal and local filmaker Roger spent some time with Palestinian kids in Gaza recently and helped them create a series of short films that he’s going to be showing at Artist Televison Access on Valencia by 21st at 8pm this Friday.  Of course there will be snacks and wine at the event, and you can see all the details here.

Stop by and check it out!

Previously

Berlin style ping pong at ATA

As Allan mentioned, I’m in Vietnam this week.

You would love it. It’s 90 degrees now. There are more $2 multi-colored fake Ray Bans than you can handle. Dudes just walk up to you on the street with them. Seriously, I buy two more pairs every time I leave the hotel. The pho costs about $2.50 and is as ubiquitous as McDonald’s. Banh Mi sandwiches? Like 50 cents. And then there’s the coffee…

Did you know the most expensive coffee in the world comes from Vietnam? This particular coffee goes for hundreds of dollars per pound in the US, but it’s about 10-15 bucks here. But that cute weasel on the package is not a mascot, it’s part of the manufacturing process.

You see, these are beans that have been eaten by a weasel (technically a civet), passed through its digestive system, and roasted. It’s called Kopi Luwak. Wikipedia says:

Coffee cherries are eaten by a civet for their fruit pulp. After spending about a day and a half in the civet’s digestive tract the beans are then defecated in clumps, having kept their shape and still covered with some of the fleshy berry’s inner layers.

And what exactly does that accomplish?

Research by food scientist Massimo Marcone at the University of Guelph in Ontario, Canada showed that the civet’s endogenous digestive secretions seep into the beans. These secretions carry proteolytic enzymes which break down the beans’ proteins, yielding shorter peptides and more free amino acids.

Whatever you say, science dude. I can attest that the beans are the strongest, richest, most chocolatey coffee I’ve ever smelled. I have not tasted it yet, but I will be bringing some back. Is anyone curious?

Now that you mention it, I can think only of one other type of person that consumes substances that have been passed through anal cavities: a junkie.

Vic is currently in Vietnam, and he’s finding it to be a lot like home: hipsters on mopeds, graffiti, cute dogs, cute fruit, lots of Asians, girl shoplifters with crummy attitudes, ping pong, bike problems, etc.

Follow him already!

Girls Girls Girls is down in South America somewhere right now, in a town where horses behave like pigeons. They’re wild, they’re dirty and sickly, and they eat trash. What a world!

[link]

The Tens ventured across the bay over the weekend:

Me: What the hell is going on in here?
[Sees women crocheting in front of a stage where a band is setup.]
Me: Fuckin’ Oakland.

Note that this conversation happened out loud.

The Paramount theater sure is out of control though:

Right?

Well done, Tens!

Previously:

• This girl hella loves Oakland
• Guide To How To Have Fun This Summer If You Live In SF And Your Best Friends Live in Oakland

Now this is how you do a proper bicycle street race!  I wonder if our neighbors in Twin Peaks would allow us to commandeer their streets and sidewalks some afternoon so we can try to pull this off ourselves?

My favorite part is when a dog ambles into the sidewalk-sized track directly in front of the cyclist and all he can do is yell “Perro!” as quickly as possible to avoid disaster.  Yes, I realize that the use of Spanish probably means this isn’t an authentic favela, but you get the idea.  The only thing that would make this cooler would be if he did a no hand track stand at the finish line.

Link.

(Thanks Sally!)

You know how you’ve been meaning to go to Dollar Day at Golden Gate Fields for like a hundred years and you’ve still never been? You should go finally, seriously. I did recently, and it was a lovely day.

The photo ops are plentiful:

The ponies are majestic:

(more…)

Everyone thinks that the secret to our excellent burritos is the ingredients. New theories indicate that it’s all in the upper body strength of the maker.

The recently NYC transplanted sexpigeon has more to say on the matter.

P.S. Pret-ty sure that’s Dos Toros. A place I visited last summer and of which I posted a very similar evaluation concerning proper rolling technique:

…the pierced and tatt’ed young lady who wrapped my burrito really didn’t know what she was doing. Her end folds were way too big pushing all the contents to the middle. She tried to cover things up with an exaggerated triangle fold to bring the edges in, but this just resulted in burrito contents shooting out of the tip at a higher velocity after the second roll. The whole structural integrity of the burrito was therefore compromised, as you can see from the cracking of the overloaded bottom half…

[via sexpigeon]

Sexpigeon relocated a couple months back, and has already come to a powerful conclusion:

Whatever they tell you, New York is not a 24 hour town. Yes, there is shitball garbage open at all hours, but such is the case for any American city, for, honestly, any American suburb. And the bars stay open till 4, sure, but only the shitty ones. Your west coast two o’clock corner store rushes are a better option, honestly, for sure, yes.

Good to know! [link]