Mission Mission

The great thing about Critical Mass in Sacramento is that with only 14 people on the ride, if you get a flat, the entire Mass will pull over and hang out while you patch it up.

The terrible thing about Critical Mass in Sacramento is there’s this dude who thinks he’s the leader. Gives a welcome speech (he actually says “Welcome to Critical Mass!”) where he explains how Critical Mass works, cautions you not to break any rules, gets all serious if you make a joke about throwing bricks at cars, and informs you in which direction he’s decided we’ll be starting off. And then he barks orders at everybody the whole time: “LIGHT!!” “JOIN US!!” “IT’S CRITICAL MASS; JOIN US!!” “LIGHT!!” Gag me!

Sacramento is beautiful though. It’s a nice place to bike.

Previously:

Critical Mass Halloween

Critical Mass Seattle

Critical Mass at Ocean Beach

Critical Mass Louisville

Our buddy Edward knows best:

I’ve worked out a pretty effective system for transporting burritos from the Bay to Berlin. Now if only I had a proper burrito with which to demonstrate this…

The trick is to keep the burrito upright and protected throughout your journey. So you need a tupperware that is half a super burrito tall and just wide enough to accommodate two burrito halves side by side. Great too if there’s room on top for salsa packs (3 oz or less). Line the tupperware with napkins and remove the foil, but not the paper from the burrito. Cut it in half and set the halves ends-down in the tupperware, then stow it upright in your carry-on, or underpants.

Even if you’re muling a saucy burrito, like La Calaca Loca’s super carnitas, it won’t turn soggy or slimy if you follow this method. Be sure to eat a burrito before leaving California, or it might not last the flight. When you arrive at your destination, crack a Tecate tall boy with your loved one, look at pictures of Dolores park on MM, and enjoy.

Read on for further discussion.

Photo by world of jan.

Moreover, he’s running a marathon with an eggplant and a samurai.

(Via our buddy Katherine who’s living in Japan for a bit.)

Previously:

Milk Carton Obama

Dolores Park Obama

826 Valencia Obama

In Santa Barbara over the weekend I came upon a scene that was like something out of the apocalypse. Waterborne tornadoes had apparently ripped half a dozen sailboats from their offshore moorings and deposited them unceremoniously on the beach, forcing countless joggers to unceremoniously reroute.

I’ve still got The Road on the brain, so I climbed aboard and ransacked their galleys — made off with some choice canned vegetables and a flare gun.

Yep, this one was decidedly different than Mission Mission’s last trip to Santa Barbara. More wreckage after the jump:

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No big deal, just a picture of someone enjoying an El Farolito quesadilla, right?

Psych! It’s a picture of someone enjoying an El Farolito quesadilla in the East Village, NYC!

You can do it too: On the way to SFO, hop out at 24th St. station. Run into El Farolito and order that quesadilla to go. It’s probably a good idea to avoid the sour cream. Immediately double-ziplock bag it and toss it in your luggage. When you land in NYC 6 hours later, call up your friend and tell her that you’ll be bringing lunch. Don’t worry, as a previous mission resident, the concern of a salmonella infection will be dwarfed by her longing for decent Mexican food*.

Your clothes will smell like carne asada for a week, but the look on her face will be worth it. She’ll give you a big hug and tell you that this was a way better gift than the “Alcatraz Swim Team” T-Shirt you brought last time.

The question is, what can your NYC friend do for you? Imported pizza? Nah, contrary to what they think, we have plenty of good pizza here.

*The “Mexican” food in NYC borders on the terrible. Trust me when I say I wish it were otherwise.

I spent a recent weekend in San Juan Bautista, a town I recommend if you want to get out of the city for a day or so and see some of the great aspects of another kind of classic California. You can see the famous Mission, pick up some nice antiques, look for the local Oddfellows chapter,  have a chat with one of the chickens loitering all over town, try to match old pictures from postcards to their current locations, and end the night dancing to live music at Daisy’s Saloon.

If you happen to awake on a late, sleepy Sunday morning at either the San Juan Inn or the Posada De San Juan and wish there was an excellent brunch spot nearby, you may want to find your way to the corner of Third and Mariposa, to Mission Cafe. The inside looks pretty much as you’re picturing it.

Oh man. The brunch here. The eggs benedict was awesome with spinach, tomatoes and ham. Creamy hollandaise sauce all over the plate. The potatoes were less amazing, but good enough with the sauce.

Then there was the waffle and eggs special which also included bacon, hash browns and fresh berries. (Berries! Yes!) The waffle had some kind of extra almond flavoring. Both just under $10.

A special note of warning: there’s a rumor around the tiny town that Mission Cafe may be closing soon. Possible reasons varied, but if you find yourself in the area, go while you can.

A couple of days ago I posted a collection of BART maintenance badges. I was convinced I was missing one more and it had to be something on or near the end of the peninsula line. So this weekend I was coming back from the east bay and saw THIS:

This is definitely the definitive SF maintenance station badge. It features Golden Gate bridge (which is incidentally nowhere near Daly City or BART), and an airplane heading to or from SFO. For the record, the car smelled better than any car I’ve ever been in. Some kind of sweet flowery cleaning fluid was just used. It also had a spotless, non-carpeted floor. Go DC! Show ‘em how it’s done.

Next conquest: MUNI bus maintenance badges. Psych! Nobody maintains those.

Came across this tweet randomly, made me smile.  Sweet victory!  It seems Australians have voted San Francisco as the ultimate authority on burritos.

20 million convicts and kangaroos can’t be wrong!  Suck it, Brock!

Mission Mission favorite Kati Jackson took a trip to the great city of Portland and stumbled across this burrito guide.  Dunno.  I always unwrap my burrito or else I end up eating tinfoil because I didn’t get enough oxygen when I was born.  It’s never been a problem.  The burrito, that is.

Also, for those of you who don’t have the time to read the Shakespearean string of comments that I’m sure this post will envoke, let me sum it up for you:

1. I don’t get it.  What the FUCK does THIS have to do with THE MISSOIN?!?
2. Argh, where’s Allan?
3. Kevin, why don’t you just commit seppuku with a bag of skittles already?
4. This is the worst blog on the fucking internet, but I’m gunna continue reading it anyways because my life is kinda shitty right now.
5. Katie who?
6. lol the mouth in #3 is funnie roflmaozhedongs

BOLD.

(photo David Hernandez)