Mission Mission

This prehistoric beast reportedly stalked someone’s birthday party last weekend. Any thoughts on its origin? Was anyone hurt? What can we do to keep our families safe?

Photo by art.bikes.

Previously on Mission Mission:

Humanoid Ghostbat Sighted

Look at him flop! Also, be sure to stick around for the twist ending. (Thanks, Lola!)

I saw one of these at the Louisville Zoo yesterday and it blew my mind and I wanted to share. Link to Maned Wolf entry on Wikipedia.

Photo by LoquaciousD

Tree over at the Free Farm Stand extends an open invitation to participate in some real-life bee handling in the coming weeks:

The bees in our backyard are working their butts off and have produced probably another five gallons of honey. So I have put in a request for the extractor and plan to do the honey thing on Monday August 18^th. If anyone wants to learn more about bees and beekeeping and can help out at the same time please contact me.

Link. In light of the popularity of our account of the neighborhood’s recent bout with an unruly swarm, we’d assume lots of you would jump at the chance to get in on this golden opportunity.

Photo by wolfpix.

In the comments section of the original post, Carowner says the bees are back in action (and details a dramatic plan to bounce them once and for all)!

Update (Thursday evening): In the comments section of THIS post, Carowner gives us a full timeline of bee activity, and reveals that the aforementioned dramatic plan is underway. Cross your fingers!

Real-life hero and Emergency Beekeeper Karen just wrote in to further explain the mystery of Saturday’s bee swarm:

This is the beekeeper, Karen, here. Wendy and Carowner were real troopers. As I explained many times to everyone who was crowded around and watched, when honey bees “swarm” it is a good thing for two reasons:

1. It means the colony from which it emerged is doing well and out grew its space. The queen leaves with approx 50% of the bees in the colony, and they find a place to land before figuring out where they will go to start a new nest. Why this group decided to land on the car is unknown. Meantime, back at the hive, a new queen (daughter of the queen who left) has emerged from her queen cell. She will head-up the other 50% of the colony and perpetuate it.

2. When honeybees swarm, they are very gentle and non-defensive. They have no honey stores or brood (baby bees before hatching) to protect, and they have gorged on honey before they left their hive, filling their special “honey stomachs” because they don’t know exactly when they will begin to set up housekeeping at their new location. They are like us after we’ve eaten a big meal (like T-day), full and kinda relaxed.

I took the bees back to my house and installed them into a hive. I will check on them in a few days to see if we got the queen or not. If we did not, she is likely still in the air vent of the car and will either leave or die.

I will post again once I know.

Fascinating animals, these bees. Thanks, Karen! Now if only we could finally solve that godforsaken cucumber mystery.

Inhabitat‘s Mike Chino just sent me a text: “Check your gmail…” Anyway, he’s on the scene:

I swear to god this neighborhood keeps getting rougher….

Today (August 2nd) at 12:00 noon I spotted this itinerant horde of bees slowly making its way down 14th street between Mission and Valencia. The roving mass was apparently following a fugitive queen as she made her way down the block, clustering on top of cars and buildings with no concern for private property. Police assured a concerned public that there was, in fact, an emergency beekeeper on his way, and that there was no cause for alarm.

Cripes! Hope everybody’s okay. Thanks, Mike!

Update: Wendy was on the scene too. She kind of just broke my heart by explaining that “Emergency Beekeeper” is not an official City of San Francisco job title:

the police didn’t even know that you could call a beekeeper. they said they would put their number on file for future reference though. before my bf called the beekeepers, the police had called the fire department. they had no idea i guess.

And she says that sfbee.org is the place to find ass-kicking beekeepers should another emergency arise. Thanks, Wendy!

More mysterious phenomena on Mission Mission:

Humanoid Ghostbat Sighted

God Gives Me The Finger

Dead Rat in Tar With Its Spinal Chord Out on Muni Tracks Near Dolores Park

Squid With Human-Like Teeth/Gloryholes For Beginners Mashup

Today I ducked into Paxton Gate for a few minutes, and I’m glad I did — the cacti in the back room are in bloom!

If I wasn’t heading for the park, or didn’t have a million-pound bag on my shoulder, I would have rounded them up in my arms and lovingly killed them softly with my less-than-green thumb. Check them out before the blossoms disappear for another year. If you adopt one, please keep us up to date on its progress.

I once owned a Paxton Gate cactus, and it erupted into bloom only once in the two and a half years I owned it. I continue to have a soft spot for blooming cacti. Here’s mine:

Previously on Mission Mission:

Sea Creature Pins at Paxton Gate

They look cute together, but what do you think they’re up to?

Previously on Mission Mission:

Bright-Green Blobs in Own Sticky Goo Discarded on Outbound 26-Valencia

Whippits Discarded on Outbound J-Church