Mission Mission

This photo made me salivate.  Short sleeves and skylines, swoon!  Love u, D. Park!

[From zendritic]

Thanks James for actually leaving your house today.

A fortnight ago, we were delighted by the sudden appearance of miseltoe all over the mission. This week Christmas trees are taking it to the streets. But unfortunately, this is not as fun. You can’t really make out with a stranger under one without getting covered in pine needles. They just sorta get in your way while you’re walking.

Most trees just crash out on the sidewalk like some marina transplant that had a few too many drinks before being kicked out of Kilowatt for grabbing girls. (Hey side story: I actually spent the day in the Marina yesterday and found it to be quite lovely. Great food, beautiful scenery, and Bro-douchery was minimal at best. I did hear a group of dudes refer to a really cute dog as a “panty-dropper” which sorta broke my heart a little. On the other hand, I heard some other guy on the bus use the term “warm up” for what I call “pre-party” and I’ve been using it ever since. Anyway, on to the tree):

Or some folks just let that tree crawl away itself. Look out! Conifer crossing! (Valencia & 15th)

Hey, even dead trees need some of that good ‘ol H20. Check out this guy in a stylish plastic winter coat straddling a fire hydrant. Tampering with city property just for another sip? Tsk!

This tree always had bigger dreams. Traffic safety dreams. Some might call it a hero. (22nd and Bartlett)

But I think the most creative tree disposal comes to us courtesy of 1337 h4x0r and all around swell guy Mr. Eric Sir. This tree is the perfect muni stop companion. No idle chit-chat, no seat hogging, just a pine-fresh scent while you wait.

Unfortunately, it also seems to be a piss magnet. What is it about human nature that makes it so appealing to piss next to plants?

See you next year, trees.

If there’s one mama bear to all not-really-a-dollar-stores, it’s gotta be Giant Value on 22nd and Mission. I always find myself staring at it while waiting for the 49 bus and I snapped this sweet pic of it’s glorious façade over the weekend.

I honestly don’t understand how these businesses are sustainable. First of all, you got ten more shops on the same two block radius selling the same stuff. Secondly, that’s got to be one of the biggest buildings in the mission and rent can’t be cheap. With prices hovering somewhere near a dollar the profit margins can’t be that high.

It’s got to be a front for something. Maybe they are smuggling carne asada to the east coast.

Oh, and the Yelp reviews about the place are pretty hilarious. Not amazon.com wolf T-shirt reviews hilarious, but still a good read:

“…here you can find home pregnancy tests that actually work for $1.49!!!  Because sometimes you need more than one test.”

“Granted there’s something a little off about their brands of breakfast cereals (does Tony The Tiger have pinkeye?)”

“…shop there before the hipsters infiltrate and buy all the jesus belt buckles and cans of pabst lite!”

“…it’s fun to buy something completely written in another language and just hope it does what you think it does.”

BTW, still no takers on that mission theater. Can’t one of you dot-com cash-outs buy it and open a theater full of couches that serves the People’s Beer and  plays awesome movies like Back to the Future and Ghostbusters?

Who wants to party on some real estate?  Laughing Squid says Chicken John is selling his warehouse space at Cesar Chavez/Mission for a cool $899,000.  Deets from the Craigslist post:

This unique property is next to the Valencia Corridor/Mission District with very easy access to transit and freeways. The main portion is a spacious open warehouse/work area with 20 ft. ceilings and eight skylights. There is a large bright room above the front entry plus more offices/storage rooms.

There is a roof deck with hot tub. This property potentially might work for an architect, artist, cabinetmaker, plumber or contractor. Huge open kitchen has a Wolf range and two refrigerators. All appliances are included. Zero lot-line structure.

Fine, I’ll buy it.  You piqued my interest with “roof deck with hot tub” and dialed it in with Listing Agent Jesse Fowler.   Swoon!  Dude’s like a world-weary Billie Joe Armstrong.  Don’t mind if I do!

Jesse Fowler, Broker Associate

Katherine says: “is this on missionmission yet?  should be.”

(Link: The Tens SF)

The next chapter of the Rosamunde saga!  Emma sent us this mouthwatering shot of the newly built facade on 24th and Mission.  Peace out, Cafe Arguello!

The chapter after this one will involve them finishing the sign.  Then the chapter after that will outline the restaurant opening.  The shocking conclusion will be you trying a sausage and deciding whether you like it or not.

Though an ambitious effort, this book is crazy boring.

Smoochy smoochy!  I couldn’t help but follow up on Ariel’s Missile Toes post from the other day, as we keep coming across more Mission mistletoe…

Your mistletocations for the week, as reported thus far:

• 23rd and Valencia (Pictured above, in front of Beretta)
• 21st and Valencia (From Ariel, of course)
• 16th and Dolores (MrEricSir says)
• 16th and Church (Quoth MrEricSir)
• 18th and Dolores (MrEricSir, okay?)
• Above the escalator at 24th St. Bart (per Daniel)
• 20th and Valencia, by Dog Eared Books (Jeff tells us)
• 16th and Guerrero, outside of Andalu (Makeout King MrEricSir, back for more)

Swoon!  That’s practically a full make-out sesh right there.  I got smooched under one of these bad boys last night and let me tell you, it was a much cheaper way of getting lucky than pumping my bf full of cocktails.

Good luck, y’all!

There’s a love connection waiting for you at 21st and Valencia Streets.

Someone was seriously feeling the season and hung some mistletoe from a line over the corner. You should all go kiss each other.

Troy Holden has a nice little write up about the Roxie Theater.

Click on the pic if you want to read it.

Thanks.