Mission Mission

In case you need some extra guidance, this daily update is on the new postin’ posts on Valencia St. Somebody is clearly on top of keeping it up to date.

Forget what day of the week it is? No problem, check out the post. What’s the current terrorist alert level? Lime… well that’s good I guess. Looks like irrational numbers aren’t exempt from the daily lucky number. Are imaginary numbers also allowed? You’re just going to have to stay tuned.

Once a girl asked me to meet her under the “pepper tree” in Dolores Park. This sounded like a solid plan, compared to my usual method of sending a million vague texts back and forth on arrival.

Once I got to the park, I realized there were a lot of trees in the park and I didn’t have the faintest idea what a “pepper tree” looks like. Hell, I didn’t even know pepper came from trees. Then I leaned against a palm tree in frustration and wondered, “is a palm tree really a tree or is it just an oversized monocot?”

It turned out that the pepper tree is located near the tracks on fruit shelf section of the park. I was late, and by then my date had found another guy to hang out with who had an adorable dog. My fate was sealed.

On the bright side, if you take this bi-lingual tree tour put on by Friends of the Urban Forest, you’ll never have to go through what I did:

Join us on Sunday July 11 for a free two-hour tour of the beautiful trees in and around Dolores Park.  Chris Ingram, owner of Mr. Prune Tree Care, will lead this bilingual (English/Spanish) tour.  Chris is an ISA Certified Arborist as well as a pruning and horticulture instructor throughout the Bay Area.  Meet at the J Muni stop at the lower corner of the park at Church and 18th streets.  The tour starts at 11:00 a.m.

[thanks Alexis for the tip, photo by Noah Berger]

Reader James P. recommends checking out the Wishing Tree on 24th Street near Bartlett:

I just read a bunch of the wishes and it’s a lovely thing; a brief respite from the nightmare of spilling oil and dying sea creatures

But B.P. said they’re sorry!

Diligent reader mo kaze noticed that “they” glued in blue discs on 18th Street and thoughtfully snapped a pic for our consideration.  I am assuming that “they” refers to DPW officials and not aliens disguised as public officials detectable only by XRAY specs.

What do you think, readers?  Futuristic parking sensors or viral marketing campaign for the new TRON movie?  If the former, no word yet on whether or not they register pedestrians standing in parking spots and holding them for their friends’ vehicles.

UPDATE!!!

Looks like the future is here!  SFpark has the scoop . . .

Previously:

Okay for Pedestrians to Occupy and Hold Parking Spots?

601 Dolores, aka the “Castle on the Park,” is the luxurious single family home that you’ll probably be sitting in front of at some point this weekend. Curious about what it looks like inside? I suppose you could call John L. Woodfruff III and convince him that you’re some kind of South American cocaine baron with 7.5 million burning a hole in your pocket. Or like the rest of us, check out the new pics that went up on the property’s website: 601dolores.com.

One notable upgrade can be the popcorn ceiling removal, which can be replaced outdated textures with sleek, modern finishes. This change can not only enhance the aesthetic appeal of the home but also improves the overall ambiance by providing a smoother and more sophisticated surface. Whether you’re admiring the home from the street or browsing the photos online, these updates can contribute to the property’s timeless charm and enduring elegance.

One thing that is immediately clear from the 70+ photos of this place is that all your stuff would probably fit in a 15′ x 15′ corner of it’s vast interior, leaving the rest of it for an indoor soccer court, an art gallery, a music venue, and a parking lot simultaneously… and don’t get me started the walk score on this baby.

Oddly, the decorator in this case chose to fill it with eastern Buddhist iconography, as if to give a big F.U. to the fact that this was once a place of God. Good thing we’re all a bunch of sodomites so we don’t really care.

Guys, if I hit it big, I promise I’ll buy this castle and convert the first floor into luxury public bathrooms.

[via curbed sf]

Previously:

Single-Family Cathedral Across From Dolores Park Just Got Affordable!

For Sale: Big Former Church Across From Dolores Park

You should throw your trash in the trash can, for sure. But if you happen to have some gum that you weren’t wanting, I know a spot.

Capp Street, natch.

Also, this is the urban fairy circle, right?

Are we over Banksy Fever? Ariel Dovas thinks “maybe”, but our top posts list says, “nope”.

Well, maybe it’s just Banksy Light-Cough at this point, but two new alleged Banksy pieces were discovered this weekend in places San Franciscans don’t go to very often: North Beach and Alcatraz:

On Columbus and Broadway

(via Toasted Blog)

On Alcatraz Island (!!!)

(via Uptown Almanac)

Finally, it looks like the folks who were blessed with Banksy’s “doctor” piece have realized it’s artistic merit (or business potential) and started cleaning up the vandalism it suffered last week at the hands of otter and others:

'It's very hard to get it'

(via SFist)

While crossing that neat (but sometimes frightening) pedestrian overpass connecting Vermont and Kansas over the James Lick Freeway near 22nd Street, this intrepid photographer experienced an epic confrontation with a wild animal in its natural habitat.  Luckily, he wasn’t mauled during the encounter and can continue to provide the public with fantastic shots of San Francisco, like this one!

Check out the largest size to witness the beast at bay as it stares deeply into your soul.

[Photo and Title by bats...]

The Victoria Theatre on 16th, San Francisco’s oldest operating theater!

(via Anomalous_A)

Johnny0 has alerted me that Eddo of herrachinky is the Kim Peek of naming SF neighborhoods. Don’t believe me? Check out these masterpieces from his twitter:

• DUCFOP (Down Under Central Freeway Overpass)
• HayBro (Hayes Broderick)
• SLUM (South of Lower Upper Market)
• FerBu (Ferry Building)
• Castr8teenth (Castro 18th)
• MissCapCha (Mission Capp Chavez)
• CliChé (Clipper Church Chenery)

If there’s one thing worthwhile to include in the Library Of Congress, this is it.