Mission Mission

Cover your nether regions, one angry clerk at Pay’n Save (18th and Guererro) is taking his hatred of the lazy to the streets:

Hey I’m not crazy about lazy people either, but I gotta say: corner store clerks aren’t exactly the most shining example of hard workers, unless you count sitting on a folding chair next to a box fan for hours and sighing heavily when someone asks for double-A batteries “working”.

I kid, I kid. Thanks for all the Tecate and coconut juice.

You may know from ‘Deep from his alter ego Trikeasaurus, or his residential parklet occupied by a topiary triceratops. Well, here’s yet another notch on his resume of heartwarming neighborhood quirks: ‘Deep is getting hitched today at noon, during Sunday Streets, in his parklet! (And I hear they’re giving out cupcakes to passersby.)

For schedules and more information, check out Kim and ‘Deep’s wedding Tumblr. And did I mention that today is Sunday Streets?

The guy on the right there. Lived in the Mission for five years like ten years ago or something, had his fill, moved elsewhere, comes back only once in a while. But last night I talked him into Slow Jams at the Make-Out Room (every Tuesday night, free) and he had the time of his life! Slow dancing, 1960s prom-style decor, cheap drinks, comfy booths. He says he’s going back next week. Time of his life, just look at him!

The Mission wins again.

Local commuter David Enos shares some insights:

This living alone out in the avenues business is a weird thing.  It’s isolated out here.  Been waking up from bad dreams, finding myself staring at such things as Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara’s imdb pages until dawn, then getting in another hour or two of sleep before another shift.  An endless, silent train home and then doing it over again.

Sounds peaceful enough. Read on for the punchline.

[Map by Google Maps]

His name is John Seastrunk, and you’ll recognize his seasonally appropriate handiwork from the windows of Boogaloos, St. Francis, Napper Tandy, a bunch of taquerias, and more. The Bold Italic has just published a piece on him, so you can finally put a name and face to all of that familiar hand-painted lettering. According to the piece, John has been painting signs for over 30 years and has over 120 typefaces memorized!

Read on for more about this unsung local hero.

Since none of us can get enough of Danny Bowien, here’s yet another article about him, in NYMag. (Bonus #1: This one was written by Molly Young, a San Francisco native and one of my favorite young reporters today. Bonus #2: Unrelated, but NYMag also just happened to publish a piece featuring one of our very own writers’ feet.)

In this piece, Danny talks happiness, monosodium glutamate, duck blood extrusion, Martha Stewart and her seating requests, partying, puking, and his tradition of pounding Buds in honor of visiting dignitaries.

First she came up with the idea for coconut water (as you can see in the “Man Down” video below), and now she’s hanging at Zeitgeist. Rihanna is cool.

UPDATE: I think it’s true, based on how badly this guy wants us to think it’s not.

The Daily Mail published a story about how Ke$ha tweeted this picture of herself peeing on the street this morning, and they included some quotes from previous interviews with the popstar:

‘I’m just a ballsy motherf****r. I’m not afraid of pushing boundaries.

‘That’s what you have to do to become an icon.’ [link]

Yeah well I think we here in the Mission know who the real icon is.

[Photo by Ke$ha] [Thanks, WBTC!]

Dolores Park, apparently, and probably sweltering from the looks of it. Perhaps not the best choice of weekend for this particular ensemble, but at least he’s not totally blowing it.

Parkgoer Gabriella had the pleasure:

That scruffy man constantly selling and yelling “cold beer” at Dolores Park decided to sit next to me on a bench today. He told me how he’s only dated Asian women for the past 25 years, how to make homemade LSD, and that Sid Vicious was the lead singer of The Ramones. [link]

Sounds good to me! (Oh and here’s a cool picture of Sid Vicious we posted a while back.)