Mission Mission

Let’s start with the rerouting of Mission Creek . . .

This guy can definitely be on my team.  Don’t snicker, or he’ll whack you with his leveling stick.

[Photo and post title by Jason Schlachet]

While perhaps not as elegant a solution as the Nike Beer Cozy, the Beerdana nonetheless keeps your your hand from getting cold and your beer (somewhat) insulated.  Plus, it’s stylishly versatile as well, as you could go with the classic Bloods/Crips version, some crazy hippy tie-dye nonsense, or this anarcho-punk tribute to just-deceased longtime Mission resident and legendary rabble-rouser John Ross.

Most importantly, the Beerdana is guaranteed to turn any situation into an instant dance party.

I have no idea whether the “T” was omitted accidentally or we have a very clever painter on our hands, but I am sure as heck NOT going to touch that wall.  For all we know, there could be some elaborate transduction mechanism that taps directly into your nocireceptors, or perhaps some dude pops out and beats you with a bucket of water.

Anyone brave enough to find out?  Watch your self.

(Thanks Tom!)

Like, when you have a good reason like you’re packing up a canoe or something, and you know it’s wrong or whatever, but you also know nobody’s going to hassle you? What a feeling! It’s the funnest.

It’s a mini. And I don’t see any paddles or seat cushions or life preservers, but you get what you pay for.

Blam!

[Cartoon by Tika Hall]

Previously:

Bar Bunnies

Thanks, Dude

Yeah we get it, snow is a magical gift of nature that looks pretty, makes passable forts, and can be sledded upon. Then you live in it and within days you realize it’s a pain in the ass. It’s cold. It gets slushy. Your face hurts and you start ducking into random stores on the street just so you can warm up enough to walk further.

Need further convincing?  Check out these luxuries we get to enjoy in our temperate neighborhood microclimate.

Riding bikes

I don’t care how “connected to the road” you feel on a fixed gear ride, nothing is “connecting” you to a thick layer of ice. Check out what those less fortunate cyclists in Seattle have to do:

Yup, those are zip tie tire chains. The innovator Fritz Rice says:

I can accelerate, brake, and corner with aplomb, even on the vile snowpack/sheet ice mix the plows leave in the bike lanes. The zip ties dig nicely into the hardest packed surfaces, but they’re thin enough not to bounce the bike around at low speed or on short pavement sections.

Bragging about being able to accelerate, brake, and corner in the winter? And here we are complaining that our butts get wet because of some puddles. By the way, if you don’t have a fender, we have our own little innovation. Bungee a folded up copy of the Examiner to your rear rack. Works great.

[Dutch Bike Co. via lifehacker]

Native Burritos

If we want a burrito, the process is simple: walk a block (or two if you want the better one), buy a burrito, and enjoy.

Apparently, this is not so easy in ski towns like Mammoth Mountain. Burritos must be imported to you on monstrosities such as this:

Think of the carbon footprint on that sucker. I feel like if I don’t comply with a valid order within 20 seconds, a machine gun turret will open up on the side and lay me to waste. I’ll bet the burritos stink, too.

[Thrillist via Laughing Squid]

Youtube user nico1001nico made a nice short documentary about Mission gentrification from the perspective of the small business owners. For the most part, they don’t really seem to mind the changes happening. There’s less crime, better business, and more diversity.

Micah from Black & Blue delivers the most scathing line, when asked what she’d like to see changed: “More low income housing, more services available to the poor, and less trust fund babies moving into the neighborhood.”

The most baffling quote comes from Connie, the Latina business owner, describing her dream of 24th becoming the next Noe Valley. For serious?

Previously:

Dregs One on Gentrification

Update: Video removed by the creator. Probably pissed off too many trust fund babies.

Update 2: Aaand it’s back. Not sure what’s changed: