Mission Mission

See it? I was hoping she was gonna light it up, but she just kept strollin’ right on down Bryant Street.

I’ve never been a smoker, but I’d have had a puff, had she offered.

If you have a buddy who’s been crashing on your couch for too long you could bring this into the living room when he’s asleep and then write him rent tickets.

If not you best leave it be.

Plus, it’s a newfangled one, so there aren’t a bunch of quarters inside that you could take to the arcade.

I’ve always wondered what they do with ice cream carts at night; storing them in the hallway like a bike didn’t seem like a reasonable option. Imagine tripping over them in the dark and waking your roommates with those bells…

From the “talent gigs” section on Craigslist:

Starting a carnival: Looking for weird ass people (mission district)

Are you weird?

Were you born with webbed toes? do you eat fire? are you a midget with a strange skill? Are you a man with a normal sized body and one huge bicep? are you a 7 foot tall woman with gigantic boobies? do you have two noses?

If any of the things mentioned above ring a bell, or if you’re just plain weird…then we want you!

Why? Because we’re starting a carnival. In the Mission. Preferably at Dolores park.

We need performers! Look, the economy sucks, so if you’re not up on the modern man’s hustle (aka startups, aka taking money from rich people to sit in the Summit all day and look for yourself on missed connections) then you’re probably sitting in Dolores Park doing nothing but drinking PBR and smoking weed. So why not get paid in PBR and weed for what you’re already doing for free?

Here’s your chance. Be weird.

• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: PBR, weed, grilled cheese, or whatever else the citizens of Dolores park decide to pay us in.

PostingID: 2259197128

Talent is an asset! As is having deformities!

I would definitely pay somebody a grilled cheese for the chance to regard their pair of noses.

[link]

Adding to the collection of odd stuff locked up on the street. I’m sorry, I just can’t stop showing you these things. But we’re accepting submissions! If you can really wow us you can win a weird interaction where the MM staff chain you to a pole and pretend it’s funny for a little too long. Oil up your peepers and start looking!

Once again. Cart/segway/wheelchair. Cart/rolling basket. Mug about my girlfriend. Tire. Construction thing dressed up in corduroy.

If you want to celebrate the boozy holiday known as Fat Tuesday, and still don’t know where you can go to get your fill of revelry tonight, here are some options for you to possibly check out:

• The Front Porch – Doing a straight up Louisiana style shrimp boil, Abita Beer on tap, live jazz for everyone.
• Andalu – Fat Taco Tuesday.  $1 tacos, masks and beads.
• Elbo Room – Fat Tuesday Carnival party with some killer beats and dancing
• 3300 Club – They’ll be serving Mission-style Hurricanes.  Yum.

If you’re just looking for some beads and a cold one, I’m sure you can walk into any bar and find at least one person down to share the bon temps with you. Enjoy your hangover tomorrow!

[Thanks Corntard and Internet!]

Looks like there was the funeral of a gang member at the Serra Mortuary on Valencia & 26th on Friday night. (There were so many cops I initially thought it was a police funeral.)

And I can confirm the increased sightings of SFPD dirtbikes all over the place — I must have seen half a dozen while driving along Potrero this afternoon.

Check out this amazing pictorial piece by Wendy MacNaughton on The Rumpus.

Can you guess the bar by the register? I’m totally jealous of this thing.

The horror.

[Photo by The Minutes]

Hope you’re okay!

[Photo by Hampshire House]