Mission Mission

I was walking from Potrero to the Mission yesterday and came across an empty car seat, facing out toward my neighborhood and I wondered, is it true? Are babies coming to the Mission? It’s a neighborhood that is no stranger to change. The Irish settled here to raise families, as did the Latin Americans, but the newer wave of artsy-hip kids mostly came on their own, leaving the idea of parenthood back home with their parents. But now, as their random hookups start moving in and they can stave off adulthood no more, will they decide to start their families here, or move out to the suburbs to make way for the next group?

Arlen captured this sad pigeon a few months back.

Could this explain the tragic pigeon cannibalism we see all too often in the Mission? Kind of like when hungry Looney Tunes characters see each other as dinner?

Though let’s be honest — this is in poor taste. Cheetos suck when compared to Hawkins Cheezies.

These are *so* much better than Cheetos you have NO IDEA. Hell, *I’d* eat a pigeon if it had a bag of Cheezies on its head.

(Also, the image search for Cheetos is pretty damn freaky.)

Heh.

[Photo by Robby Virus]

Damn. Deep, who you may know as Trikeasaurus, just owned all those other Mission parklets by putting a goddamned dinosaur in his. Are thunder lizards the new garden gnome?

P.S. It’s a triceratops, right? Not so fast, some snarky TED talk dude apparently wants to shit on your childhood and tell you that the Triceratops may not even be a real dinosaur:

2010

• Lady Gaga came to town to sample some delicious Mission sausages. I’ve got a sausage she can sample. No seriously, I’m talking about Rosamunde sausages. They’re really good and she should check it out.
• We asked you for a new Mission motto, you delivered: “The Mission: where latinos and hipsters politely ignore each other’s existence”

2009

• Someone left a friendly reminder to please take the entire free sidewalk couch, not just the cushions (it’s inhumane to separate bedbug families).
• Locals celebrated shark week by draping dead sharks over various Mission trash receptacles.

2008

• A Mission motorist took his disdain for self-obsessed bicyclists to Craigslist, actually made me hate cyclists a little.
• A guy posted a Missed Connection for the individual that kicked his drunk ass at Zeitgeist, praised the beating as a “masterpiece”

You know how people always make fun of rednecks living in the South who insist on keeping their broken down automobiles parked on their front lawn despite the fact that these vehicles have no hope of functioning ever again?

Well, in that case, a broken down scooter that’s been parked on the sidewalk in front of your shared flat in the Mission for so long that plants are growing through it definitely qualifies as the hipster equivalent.

Which means . . . I’m living down the street from hipster rednecks.

Our pal Honey In Yr Brain (not pictured) shares a bittersweet lament about San Francisco:

You can meet the coolest person who you love to slam 40z with AND are capable of sober real talk only to find that they are moving in a week…to New York…or abroad…or just home because they ran out of money. I realize this happens in every city but damn, I have never met so many people just to have them exit my life in like .0023232 seconds. I have heard “All of my friends have moved away so many times in this city” and “Man have you seen _____? He’s super bummed because like….90% of his friends moved away” or “I HATE THIS CITY. IT’S NOT AS GREAT AS IT USED TO BE. ALL THE COOL PEOPLE MOVED”.

It’s true. You hear it all the time. So many bomb people, and then poof they’re gone. Read on.

(pic by me)

Last night around 11pm a fire caught between the building that houses Cha Cha Cha and the one that holds Specchio on Mission Street.

(pic by Erika)

The two buildings are just a couple inches apart, so the firefighters seemed to have a difficult time making sure they fire was completely extinguished.

(pic by me)

They brought the hoses to the roof and sprayed down into the narrow space, which would send a vertical sheet of water out at the gawkers.

(pic by me)

There were a lot of gawkers (present company of course included), coming out of the bars, probably wanting any excuse to get away from creepy Marina bros in Dr. Teeth.

Fortunately it looked as if there was no serious damage to either of the buildings, and nobody was injured. Plus I got to hear some good lines from the fireman to some drunk ladies excited at seeing some real men in action on their night out.

Fireman: “So, what are you guys drinking tonight?”

Well, I guess you don’t really need a good line if you’re in a fireman uniform and holding a 3 foot ax.

Listen up you jive turkeys, did you see 2009 blaxploitation revival film Black Dynamite? No? Well get a load of this:

Yeah, way better than that crappy Shaft remake starring Samuel L. Jackson.

As amazing as the vintage Super 8 video production style of the movie was, it would have fallen short without the original soundtrack provided by genius Adrian Younge. This guy wrote, recorded, edited, and performed all the instruments on the epic Curtis Mayfield/Isaac Hayes-inspired score. I hear he’s also a law professor. Here’s a sample, the Black Dynamite theme:

Adrian’s group, the Black Dynamite Sound Orchestra will be performing their last ever show at the Bottom of the Hill this Saturday, so you’d better make it out if you’re a fan. They will be playing hits from the soundtrack like “Jimmy’s Dead” and other originals.  A soul group I play in, Lord Loves a Working Man, will be opening along with rockin rhythm and grit band  the Struts.

Show starts at 9pm, costs 10 bucks (advance tix). The details are on facebook, can you dig it?

A woman was having a conniption into a cellphone on 22nd Street a little bit ago. Shrieking:

If she’s under stress FUCK the birthday party! FUCK the birthday party! She’s not fifteen! Or eleven! If she’s under stress, FUCK THE BIRTHDAY PARTY!

Bummer!

[Photo by Klara Kim]