Mission Mission

We’re thinking of taking on another editor or two. Know anybody good?

If so, hit me up: allan@missionmission.org

(Oh, and, we could use someone interested in the world of ad sales as well.)

SFist reports the tragic news that neighborhood icon Virginia Ramos, the Tamale Lady, is no longer allowed to sell her delicious tamales at Zeitgeist due to city codes and regulations and her lack of a permit. This is a serious bummer. Read on for more details from the Tamale Lady herself.

According to her Twitter, Tamale Lady is planning to have her 60th birthday celebration at the Eagle Tavern instead this year. If you have any ideas on how she can sell her tamales in the city legally, reach out to her there, or party with her at the Eagle on the 21st.

From the hosts:

Widely considered to be the best block party in the Northern hemisphere, this adventure in Bernal Heights fringe community boasts beats from Pacifica’s own Lucas Leiva, and Iron & Gold’s phat funky duo, K.I.D & Power P, as well as contributions from local brewers and The Royal Cuckoo (a.k.a. the best bar in America) not to mention the unstoppable Rodney and TJ cookin up a storm Southern style. I don’t even need to mention the giant human pinball machine (patent pending).

And the best part is it’s right around the corner from the Knockout, where darkness will be descending later that night at Smithsfits!

Hey guys, here’s the latest installment of our feature where two local theater lovers, Katie Cruz & Brittany Janis, go see a live performance and discuss it over drinks:

Serial killers, family drama, and demon sex, oh my! Last Thursday we climbed the stairs to The Magic Theatre to see their latest and last show of the season, Terminus by Mark O’Rowe, directed by Jon Tracy. Entering into the haze filled theatre, little did we know we were going to be taken on a lyrical journey from heaven to hell and back again (although Magic’s description should have clued us in). This play has so much drama, we sure needed the drinks.

Katie: I liked it, don’t get me wrong, but I struggled a bit. I don’t know if it’s just that I wasn’t in the mindset for this sort of a play, or maybe I was just too tired. That much time without much physical interaction between the characters, who are just reciting monologues, isn’t my favorite sort of play. It felt like I was watching a book being read out loud at me.

Brittany: See, I enjoyed it, but I can see where you’re coming from. I really loved the script and the language of the play, but about an hour in I was hoping for an intermission too. Also, the accents got to me.

K: Yes! I am always a big believer that if you can’t do the accent really well, and can’t keep it throughout the play, please don’t do it at all!

B: Despite the accents though, I really loved the actress who played the mother (Stacy Ross). She was so engaging, every one of her monologues drew me in, she made me care about her story. The guy (Carl Lumby) was great too, although towards the end he got a little yelly for me, which is also when his accent disappeared. Overall, I thought it was well done.

K: The sound design was great. That rumble at the beginning . . . really the best way to start a show I think I’ve ever experienced. It totally set the tone for the dark things that were to come. The set was impressive too, that gravel void with the stark lighting made for some really dramatic stage pictures. Something that Jon Tracy has always been really amazing at creating.

B: This is a great show for someone who is into theatre and poetry. There’s a lot of beautiful language, the play has great theatricality, and has an interesting form. I don’t think I would take one of my friends who isn’t into theater to see this, though. An hour-forty-five of monologues without an intermission can be rough.

The Verdict: Take your artsy friends! Don’t take your kids (the content is mature, to say the least) or your friends who prefer kids movies. This play is a dark, but beautiful, piece of theatre.

The Drama Talk: Put on your artsy pants, wear black, don’t go tired, and be prepared to hear some pretty disturbing things described beautifully. This play is not for the faint of heart, but just get in the mood for something dark and different and you’ll have a great time. There are $20 tickets for those under 30 available on the Magic Theatre website. Also at the moment, there are some tickets for sale on Goldstar, but don’t be surprised if they sell out fast, this play is going to generate some serious buzz.

The Drinks: We decided to hit up a place that we could sit in a chill, low lit, dramatic setting to discuss this intense play, so we chose the Noir Lounge in Hayes Valley. Brittany had a Deschutes Black Butte Porter (to match the darkness of the show) and Katie had a glass of Rose (the color of demon blood!).

Terminus runs through June 16th, at The Magic Theatre in Fort Mason.

Another restaurant burned last night, adding itself to the list of neighborhood eateries catching fire recently.

#Fire guts SF French restaurant Chez Spencer and forces neighbors from their homes temporarily @ktvu 5a Costly damage twitter.com/taramoriarty1/…

— taramoriarty (@taramoriarty1) May 31, 2013

You’ll recall that We Be Sushi and Thai House 530 on Valencia were both affected by a fire less than two weeks ago. Little Baobab burned just 9 days before that. We Be and Thai House are re-opening soon and Little Baobab moved their business next door. Earlier this year, across the Bay, Chez Panisse was damaged by fire, and has since re-opened. In the Bay, Forbes Island caught fire just three weeks ago.

There was a fire at Chez Spencer this morning and we will keep you posted on when we will be back open. Thanks for your support.

— laurent katgely (@chezspencergo) May 31, 2013

Be careful, restaurants!

Two girls. Same age, same 16th and Valencia. One is saying, “This nigga gon’ get stabbed.” The other, “Is it on the @7×7 list?”

— Allan Hough (@missionmission) May 22, 2013

(And 7×7 retweeted it first thing this morning.)

On Friday evening, a man tried to steal my phone on the 14, ripped it out of my hands and ran off the bus. In some fit of animal instinct, I ran after him off the bus, fought him, and got it back. I will spare you most of the details here, but if you want to read my full account of it, redirect yourself here.

Here some quick thoughts:

• Be vigilant, obviously. Keep aware of your surroundings, and avoid using your smartphone or tablet on public transportation, especially if you’re sitting near a door. I know that this is a big fat DOY but it’s also easy to forget.
• If you must use your device, look around you and take note of who is around you. I am not asking you to profile anyone. Just be aware and remember faces.
• If you see a person in distress, do something. I understand the impulse to ignore what is going on and not be nosy, to stay safe. But I am a 26-year-old woman barely over 100 pounds and I was screaming and fighting a man twice my size who had struck me in the face and thrown me to the ground, and between the 20 or so witnesses on the sidewalk and nearby, none intervened until it was over. Apparently, several people thought it was a domestic dispute, and thought, “wow, what an odd couple.” No.
• I am not implying that what I did was the smartest or best thing to do, but I had no time to think and adrenaline is one hell of a drug. This worked out in my favor, but it could have gone terribly wrong.
• If you are a victim of a crime, file a police report. If you are hurt, tell the paramedics and police everything. Shock can delay physical pain until later, and later might be too late for anyone to be held accountable. I was tempted to just get on with my day and get to whatever I was trying to go to, but I’m so glad I didn’t.
• I don’t care how much you resent the new “techies” moving into the neighborhood, but this kind of crime (or any other kind of crime) is not justified. I do not work at a startup or tech company (and it really shouldn’t matter if I did), and I certainly don’t have the paycheck or means to justify buying a new phone if mine was stolen.
• It is easy to forget that this neighborhood can still be a rough one, despite the price tag and all of the big white shuttles. Carry pepper spray, choose well-trafficked paths, don’t walk alone at night, etc. etc.

I don’t know what became of the mugger, and I’d like to think that my altercation with taught him a lesson and scared him enough to lay low for awhile (or, optimistically, to retire from mugging!), but the reality is that he is still out there and he may strike again. Stay safe, everyone.

This is a still from a Vine by our pal Jeff Seal, who will be doing seven minutes of standup at the Dark Room on Wednesday. Jeff is gonna be in town to attend a wedding, a wedding which is the theme of the following podcast. (Also, watch the Vine in its entirety after the jump.)

Discussed:

• Old 97’s
• Port Costa
• Friendster
• Red’s Java House
• Clump of fried false eyelashes
• Panko
• Swedish American Hall
• Mother’s Day
• Cafe du Nord
• Readyville
• Spotify/Pandora/AMI Internet Jukeboxes
• Comedian Jeff Seal
• Miming
• Clown school
• Vine
• Converse All-Stars
• Club Deluxe
• Comedian Sean Keane
• The Business
• The Dark Room/Balazo/Mission Records
• Haunted brothel
• Strippers
• Are You Afraid of the Dark?
• Ghostbusters
• The Hi-Dive
• Ping pong/Ping Pong Gallery in the Dogpatch/Joey Piziali
• Non-alcoholic beers
• The Bay Bridge Lights and how long they’ll be there
• Warriors’ new arena
• “San Francisco Warriors”
• The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
• Burgers/cheeseburgers/fries at Red’s Java House
• Girls (band)
• Hot girls from Santa Rosa
• People from Florida
• Rent is too high
• Josh Yule
• Thee Oh Sees
• “Naked, Spitting, Pissing Dude”
• Butts
• The splits
• The Ferocious Few
• Unhinged woman in the park
• Quevanzhane Wallis
• Unfit mothers
• Child Protective Services
• Chris Brown
• The Mint
• The Tenderloin
• Podcasts

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