Mission Mission

Beth W. alerts us to this urgent plea.

Be a good neighbor and see what you can do to help out.

Thanks Beth!

Tonight we find more mistreatment of animals.

First they put dead herons on signs, then we all eat dead animals in restaurants*, and now our internet friend/troll Cranky Old Mission Guy has been piecing together what looks to be some kind of bizarre criminal act. The evidence is as follows.

The head of a chicken.

The head of a reindeer.

The weapon?!?!

And finally, the suspects:

Actually, Crank has a better description of this scene:

“(left-to-right) Fred’s white girlfriend, Fred, and some neighborhood activist they don’t know, who is interrupting their make-out session.”

Seriously, that chicken head makes me sad. And I do feel mean about joking about a dead animal’s head lying on the ground. But I eat meat, so I obviously don’t have much regard for a chicken’s life or treatment. (sigh)

*I know.

UPDATE: Thanks to Crank’s fine detective work, the prime suspect has been apprehended!

Blam!

[Cartoon by Tika Hall]

Previously:

Bar Bunnies

Thanks, Dude

Sometimes it’s best to just let the baby decide where you’re going.  Of course, the downside is that you could always end up at a Gymboree outlet.  Or, God forbid, babyGap.

Previously:

Precocious Parallel Parker

(Artist’s recreation of the crime)

In just the most recent example of the rampant squirrel problem facing The Mission these days, a squirrel squirrelled his way into Zeitgeist yesterday and used his tiny little dirty claws to scratch at the bar’s decorative wall hangings. Animal Control came to pick him up, but he squirrelled out of the cage and scampered up a tree.

This just hits home what we all have long known to be true: our neighborhood is being taken over by squirrels. Sure, they were here first, but that’s no excuse to allow them to scurry willy-nilly all about, terrorizing pigeons and rats alike. I think I speak for us all when I say that something must be done about these little beasts. If the Board of Supervisors aren’t willing to put their feet down on the problem, I’ll stamp out these nut jobs myself.

Oooooh. Wait. Sorry. It was a man, a squirrelly man. Oooops. Never mind.

Misread at SFist.

The bunnies are cute, and their jokes are too.

Cartoonist Tika Hall is the master of these puppets, and you can see their latest adventure here.

More cutting edge hipster humor! A bunch of SF stand-up comics made this swell parody of Gaston’s song from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. Filmed largely in, you guessed it, the Mission. Thank goodness, because musical theater is so underrepresented here.

If you like it, you can vote it up at funny or die.

[thanks Nicole C.]

Wow. Reader Eric E. spotted this gem over at Engrish. There are no words.

Thanks, Eric!

This might work in the lobby of your apartment building, but it will definitely work on the curb out front. Take it from me

Mission Local just made its first foray into comedy. It’s a little overlong, but I give them props for trying to find humor in some pretty dark subject matter. Watch it now.