Mission Mission

First we noticed that a 2-year-old post about Guido Jesus was dominating our Top Ten:

Our stats indicated nothing helpful, so we took some screenshots and did a post on our official Tumblr (which was quite active today despite the main blog being pretty dead). Then we mentioned that Tumblr post on our Facebook wall, at which point reader Elias Perez came to the rescue:

Seems there’s a meme out there involving a completely unrelated instance of Guido Jesus. It’s okay. Here are some highlights (via Funny or Die):

Not bad.

Nevertheless, we are still the #1 search result:

God bless this mess.

In case you were still confused on the subject, our pal Hilary put together this handy little guide to help redress the headdress situation. Check out the history lesson full of salient points here.

The Fog Bender waxes poetic:

they tore down the playground at Dolores park and i’m bummed about it.

this was the place i went to countless birthday parties in my youth.

the place i would take countless dates to drink and chat on the wooden structure under the stars.

the place i would count hundreds of football sized rats running from the bushes to the big wooden boat that sat beached in the sand.

this was the place i would run off to after getting too fucked up to hang out at the bar.

i would swing on the swing set by myself and sometimes meet other people doing the same thing.

Read on for the dramatic conclusion.

[Photo by Norman Rockwell]

Some UC Berkeley kids recently interviewed a bunch of San Franciscans for a “story map” project. One subject, a 70-year-old who grew up in the Mission, drew the various elements of the above map and narrates the whole process as well. There’s some interactivity and sound involved, so sit back, relax, turn your speakers up and click here to find out exactly what “the Mission District was…”

Put on some Huey Lewis and fire up that flux capacitor! Doc Wong is taking you back in time. June of years past, to be exact. Please, try not to touch anything. We wouldn’t want to cause a tear in in the space/time continuum.

2010

• We reviewed a burrito in NYC and aside from some structural issues, it was pretty good
• Actually, the rapture already occurred on June 25, 2010. Tribulation hasn’t been so bad after all.

2009

• The Google Maps staff couldn’t spell “Dolores Park”
• Internet rage returned the kidnapped Mr. Pickle to his rightful home

2008

• Some innovative skaters went fixed-push, which is truly the purest form of skateboarding
• A dude name-dropped Jonathan Richman’s ex-wife to pick up chicks

2007

• Allan explained how to party in Oakland. Most of those places are still around! Except the Parkway

Lookin’ sharp! (Way sharper than the rest of this movie anyway.)

Fast forward to the 6:00 mark if you want to cut to the chase:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4ulrXq9tWk

[Thanks, Tag!]

My brother posted this amazing postcard on Wonglr and added:

There’s nothing I don’t like about this old San Francisco postcard. The bountiful dungeness crab harvest. The red berets & ’70s ‘staches. Is that Charles Bronson in the back there?

I’m not sure, but Mr. Bronson just might be in town to clean up these streets:

This shot comes from a Flickr account called MUNI – BETTER LATE THAN NEVER that’s full of tons more old shots like this. But I like this one especially. It’s like we’re there. A million years ago.

Melissa shared this amazing picture on her Tumblr last week.

This is my great-great-grandfather Elijah with his family, in front of their house in the Mission district, a house I walk by all the time. Why is there a tea kettle and miniature stove on the sidewalk, you ask? Well, on this particularly portentous day, an enormous earthquake had struck San Francisco, and many families moved their kitchens into the street so as to prevent fires (83 years later, I have a distinct childhood memory of all the families on our block barbecuing the night after the ‘89 earthquake struck for the same reason).

Read on here.

Every month we take a walk down memory lane with Mission Mission posts from years past. Yeah, we were supposed to do this on April 1st, but we were too busy posting unfunny April fools pranks. Sorry.

2010

• Son, you don’t know how good you have it. There are old dudes in China who can’t even get fixies. Now master that skid stop or go to your room.
• Some dude tried to undersell the Cold Beer Cold Water man, and was never seen since. Did CBCW order a hit on him?

2009

• Scantly-clad midday walk of shame babe gets Mission Mission the most hits of all time and oh why bother saying anything else, you already clicked this link, pervo.
• Just like a TV, never try to give away a pig’s head on the street unless you want it to get tagged.

2008

• El Toro’s exterior was renovated and we were like, “woah, that looks weird,” but now we’re all, “wait, what did it look like before?”
• One of our writers actually used to hang out at Medjool and complain about all the douchebags, but that apparently didn’t stop her from going there, like, all the time.

2007

• Nothing happened in the Mission in April of 2007. My theory is that the neighborhood entered a cosmic wormhole and stopped existing for a month. Where is Carl Sagan when you need him?