Mission Mission

Kevin hits us with this gem:

Just thought I’d share this.  Two officers came into the cafe I work at yesterday to remind us about the no drinking on Halloween and ask to put up a notice in the front window. Either they are not taking there job seriously or they were a bit drunk themselves. They still get points for effort.

It’s hard to take yourself seriously when your job consists of helping Gavin win an election by holding fun hostage.

Carlos Reyes peeped this shit recently (warning: mp3 auto-play):

what the fuck. no thanks. that’d be like drinking water light

A quick Google query indicates they’ve been making this for a few years now.  How have I never seen this before?  Also, this photo reminds me of the Enterprise accelerating to light speed, which is pretty much what happens to my personality whenever I drink a few of these.

Whenever I want to kick it like a Kennedy, I always order a dark n’ stormy.  The problem is this: much like how no one outside of the Bay Area has ever drank fernet, it is a rare day in hell you meet a bartender in SF that actually knows how to make one.  I finally ordered one of these from Latin American Club the other night and it was fucking delicious!  Like all L.A.C. drinks, it was super strong, but they have Black Seal and cold, bottled ginger beer.  Topped off with a big chunk of lime, and I was stumbling out of there after a couple drinks.

This is the story of how, after all we’ve been through together, Medjool 86′d me.

We went there in the same mood we always do- jubilant, high-spirited, energetic, and ready to dance. The others had preloaded. Ibrahim, after not having had alcohol for several months as a nod to his observant-Muslim homies, decided to celebrate the end of Ramadan by breaking his sober streak in a big way. He drank almost a fifth of vodka immediately after the bottle arrived in the apartment, brought by my boyfriend, H. We quickly confiscated the bottle so the remainder could be put in a drink for H. As H poured his own drink, Ibrahim began dancing around the apartment, singing made-up songs. H and I eyed each other. It was only 8 o’clock and the others hadn’t even arrived yet.

H sipped his mixed drink slowly and rolled several spliffs at a leisurely pace. We planned to bring these out with us and smoke them at intervals throughout the night. There would be no smoking at home because, we concluded, that would just make us sleepy. When we smoke before we go out, we never end up going out.

Ayman, Shaddi, Khalil, and Francisco arrived, and after greetings, we decided to go.

We hadn’t been to Medjool in maybe six months. A couple members of our regular crew had gotten married, others were traveling abroad, and it just wasn’t the same. But with the core group back in town and ready to party, we decided our old haunt was just the place to go.

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This voodoo car was part of a larger acid-inspired automobile parade spotted by Don’t ask me, I just work here.  Tragically, Don’t ask me was only able to grab a shot of this one.  Tears.

(link)

Look, everyone already knows that special-agent President G Dubs was the mastermind behind 9/11, but did you really need to sully up the Bender's bathroom with it?

Apparently littering the sidewalks with DVDs and standing outside of the Post Office with crappy signs promoting a fringe right-wing agenda was not good enough for some Mission resident.  Yeah, now Resident Right is taking his sharpie to the streets!  And Bender’s!  FUCK YA!

The evidence suggests he is also good at pasting up posters on top of shark-art.  Look, I’m all for more political graffiti (admittedly, I was getting a little sick of cute, paste-up kitten faces), but is this the best we can do?

(photo by Andy Brooks, who has taken some quality shots of Mission graffiti and thrown it up on Flickr for us all)

For those of you who do not believe Brolores Park is real life, this just popped up on Craigslist:

All cuddlers welcome, cute cuddlers only though. – 25 (mission district)

Date: 2009-10-04, 10:49PM PDT

Hello, we are four handsome young gentlemen who are looking for some lovely young ladies to come over and keep us company. We have a spectacular entertainment set up. Let me walk you through it:

An Xbox 360: We can play video games, watch dvds, talk to our friends over the headset, WIRELESS controller.

Netfix streaming: Yup, thats right. Over 500 movies at our fingertips ladies. Anytime. All day with that shit.

A Flat screen TV: Say what??

Dolby surround sound speakers: We cans hear all kinds of shit.

Airtunes: My fucking laptop WIRELESSLY connects to the surround sound speakers. Music all day ladies, all day.

So much more: couches, table, dvds, hallway, kitchen, bathrooms, backyard, cherry tomatoes.

Our ages vary from 24 to 25, we live in the mission.

One of us has a queen size bed with 400 thread count sheets, in case you get tired from all the FUN!

Family Circus lovers a must.

Valencia St., sometimes you speak for yourself.

(Photo by KayVee.Inc)

This table is the best way of telling your peers “hey, I have a problem.”  Then I saw the original price: two point five thousand goddamn dollars.  Scratch that, whatever you are doing, keep doing it.  It is obviously working out for you.

mirrored hollywood regency table – $250 (glen park)

this is a beautiful mirrored table. can be used as a coctail table between two chairs (mid century feel) or as a bedside table. i paid 2500. and i’m letting it go for 250.
it’s 2′/2′/18″ (deep)

(link)

Thanks for the hot tip, David!

Something I am amazed worked out: this guy climbed nearly to the top of a tree in Dolores Park, had his friend toss him up a glass bottle of Red Stripe, caught it, and proceeded to drink it.  Bad ass.

I hope he didn’t die trying to get down.

Also, doesn’t this other guy climbing the tree remind you of the kid from Bad Santa?