Mission Mission

Our pal Erik just bought a bike off the street that he thinks is probably stolen, and is wondering if it may belong to you:

I just bought a bike off the street that is probably stolen, so that hopefully the real owner sees this and can claim it.

Green frame, though it may have been painted. Ritchey stem. Carbon bar ends. Plus plenty more that I won’t list here.

If this may be your bike, write to me and describe some other things about it- parts you put on, component brands, mis-matches, whatever. If you convince me that it’s yours, I’ll let you come take it back.

You may remember Erik and his fiance from the bizarre incident back when some crazy motorist hit them on Shotwell and proceeded to yell at them before speeding away.  I wonder whatever happened to that wacko?  Anyway, please spread the word and if you think this may be your bike, let Erik know on Craigslist here.

Answer: 6! One to write the ticket and the other five to cork it in. It’s like a reverse Critical Mass that gives you tickets instead of running red lights.

Has anyone ever been pulled over by a bicycle cop? Unfortunately I missed the chase scene so the mechanics are murky at best – do they always work in packs?

Say what you will about Clooney’s Pub on Valencia and 25th, but it’s got one thing the other, hipper bars in the area don’t have: a coin pusher game.

Remember dropping your mom’s hard-earned tokens into these at Chuck-E-Cheese while she sat at the table looking tired? This one, decorated with “Just for fun” decals, has a few $5 and $20 bills sprinkled in there too, upping the stakes.

We pumped at least $1.50′s worth “fun” into this baby before some dude outside used the brilliant strategy of “kicking it really hard”, which is in fact pretty easy to do considering it’s right next to the front door making for easy escape. Not that it mattered. Even after this thing let off a shrill alarm sound upon being assaulted, nobody (including the bartender) payed any mind and the guy casually collected his “winnings”.

He kicked it like 3 more times and probably made at least $3.50 for his trouble. Then he proceeded to play the game legitimately with his ill-gotten quarters, continuing the circle of life.

Not bad, but I think he could still learn something from these kids:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mUAfIcUnxsY

First this guy runs at it and punches it:

Then it gets hit with more paint bombs, and then this guy sneaks up behind it with a flare:

The flare guy makes them decide to drive away, and a guy throws a recycling bin at them as they flee:

The video shows a lot of other stuff too, most of which is similarly disconcerting. Watch the whole thing here, if you must, but it will probably just put you in a bad mood:

Bully for them that they’re so proud of their work I guess.

[via SFist]

Our pal Wesley came upon the unsettling scene:

Suitcase found with 80 severed heads, at 18th and Guerrero. The Mission really is Little Mexico.

Insensitive, Wes!

This was the grisly scene from 24th St. BART this morning. Do bike thieves carry high-powered lasers or something?

Exhibit A: The mighty U-lock

Exhibit B: The security cable you use to lock your wheels

I prefer to think of bicycles being on temporary loan from the universe, so I guess I won’t be too bummed when someone collects on my $25 rusted Murray.

Talk about adding insult to injury. Or is it adding pointless fine to injury?

Oh SF City dept, citing us for graffiti on our boarded up windows is just poor taste.

— Weston Wear Store (@WestonWearStore) May 3, 2012

On the shitty meter, this just about ranks up there with getting your car stolen and having to pay for towing.

Our pal Lizzy had an upsetting thing happen the other night while trying to have a drink at Dr. Teeth:

As I walked up I was taking my ID out of my pocket to show the bouncer. He gave me an appraising look and said “you’re okay,” and gestured me to head in without really checking it. Then this guy standing next to him said “no no, wait, I’M checking IDs.” I don’t want to get into stereotypes but I’ll just say here that he looked like kind of an asshole.

Call me dumb, but it was kind of chaotic, plus I try to be polite to people working door, so I handed him my ID. A second later, someone I presume to be his friend said “no, that guy’s not checking IDs.”

So I said, “hey, give me my ID back” and reached over to grab it from his hand. He grabbed my wrist pretty hard and held my ID away from me.

I don’t really like being grabbed by big dudes — he was probably twice my size. So I yelled at him “LET GO OF MY FUCKING WRIST AND GIVE ME MY ID.”

Yeah, let go of her fucking wrist. You’re not being funny. DON’T GRAB PEOPLE.

Read on.

[Photo by Ariel Dovas]

We announced its return yesterday morning, and it survived a riot so that people could enjoy it in the riot’s aftermath, but now it is gone.

As Emily who took this photo says, “Fuck everything about the last twenty-four hours.” [link]