Mission Mission

Last week our pal Brittney wrote about being phonejacked on the bus. This week, as if Brittney were a Lars von Trier heroine, shit got way worse:

I pulled the cord to signal that I wanted off when the bus was due to stop again at 5th and Market.

I stood a few seconds before the bus came to a halt, a clear indiction that I was getting out and off the bus. When the bus stopped the man to my right swiveled his legs around rather than stand, so I took a wide step to get around him and as I did he grabbed me between my legs.

Without thinking I turned and swung my heavy purse containing a server’s book, a hardback journal and loose, sharp pens at his head, but barely connected. I think the purse grazed his face. I screamed FUCK YOU, also without thinking, and fled off the bus.

Read on.

I wonder if he’ll start selling regular plain ol’ cookies the way Cold Beer Cold Water has switched to just water. “Treats! Treats! Regular ol’ treats!”

[via Just Crazy Enough to Work via SFist]

Our pal Stokemonster was on the scene:

Lower Mission/La Lengua neighbors, today I witnessed and chased after a guy who stole someone’s Yorkshire Terrier from in front of the Mcdonalds on 24th . I lost him on 26th & Mission but he was only out of my sight for less then 30 secs so, unless he had a getaway driver, I’m pretty sure he lives in the neighborhood. Keep an eye out for a white male, about 6 ft 180 lbs, shaved head (possibly wearing an oversized grey hoodie) with a Yorkie.

Stokes managed to track down the owner, so this is a pic of the actual dognapped pup. Keep your eyes peeled.

UPDATE: The pup is safe, according to this comment from its owner…

My dog is safe and home. I’m too overwhelmed and exhausted from such a horrible day. I will write back and tell the story later. Thank you to those who were concerned and looking out. I appreciate it sooo much.

It certainly appears to be a possibility considering this account by eyewitness Bernard, who also snapped the above photo.  Here’s what he had to say about the situation:

I took this picture yesterday at 6pm on 25th and SouthVaness. Unfortunately my phone died just after I took this picture otherwise I would have called the police. This tractor was carrying away a motorized bike from mission then down s.vaness. It was being followed slowly by a sketchy grey older suv. There were three latino males in the van most were in their late thirtys to early forties. The tractor driver had on construction cloths and construction hat that almost made it look legit.

The only other possibility I can surmise is that someone’s non-functioning motorbike was being transported to a mechanic by a buddy who happened to have  some construction equipment at his disposal.  Of course, that’s a bit of a stretch too, but is it crazier than someone making off with a motorcycle in a Bobcat?

Our pal Brittney just found out:

I was taking an 11:15-ish outbound 27-Bryant home from work, and we’d only gone one stop when at 5th and Mission a blonde blur of a man snatched my iPhone right out of my hand then ran right out the back doors of the bus.

The most I could muster was to stand to my feet and yell, “HEY.” He took me completely by surprise. I had my headphones on and with a single jerk he detached the phone cleanly from the headphone jack and forcibly removed it from my hand. A couple of goths, a couple, ran out after him, while I stood there stunned.

They screamed at him. There was yelling. I didn’t make any of it out. I just stood there.

Read on.

My buddy Jim is visiting the Mission from NYC this week to record some drums on an album our pal is producing, and it only took one night for him to get personally acquainted with our unique denizens.  What follows is a paraphrased account of what went down early Wednesday morning:

After leaving your place we [meaning Jim and our other friend Morgan] were walking back to where we were staying on 15th and Mission, keeping an eye out for a liquor store that might still be open.  As we were approaching the 16th and Mission intersection, some guy just kind of appears and starts yelling really loudly at the top of his lungs, just saying basic crazy shit.  We tried to give him a wide berth, but he sort of approached us as we were passing.

In the blink of an eye, the guy reached out and seemed to sucker punch me on the shoulder as he yelled, “Get the fuck out of my way!”  It felt kind of weird and as I looked at my shoulder, I realized my shirt was torn and there was some blood.  That’s when I noticed that the guy was holding a huge switch-blade.  He then started swinging wildly at us, but we were able to dodge the blade and get some distance.  The crazy guy, still yelling at the top of his lungs, then went to some of the other people chilling by the BART stop and started swinging his knife at them.

These guys didn’t seem to appreciate that, and one of them started swinging his cane at the knife-wielder.  Another guy threw a trashcan at him, and pretty soon they had him on the ground and were kicking him.  We were afraid they might kill the lunatic, so Morgan called the police who arrived swiftly and approached with weapons drawn.  Luckily they were able to take control of the situation without shooting anyone, although one of the officer’s hands was slashed by the guy with the knife and was bleeding profusely.

Me?  I consider myself highly lucky to have gotten away with just a scratch, and will probably be extra cautious about keeping my distance from crazy yelling dudes in the future.  If that guy had been just a few inches taller, his initial hit would have been at my jugular instead of my shoulder.  But seriously, motherfuckers in SF are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay crazier than folks in NYC!

Wow, we’re glad you’re okay, Jim!  For future reference, that 16th and Mission corner is probably the last place you want to be at 2am.  Be careful out there everyone!

Allegedly.

From our anonymous source, who’s at work in a department store in the mall downtown:

an officer in uniform was shopping with her mom and they watched her pocket some costume jewelry and last i heard they stopped her and called the police, aka her coworkers.

And regarding whether our source was sure it was SFPD:

100% positive. badge, gun, the works.

Crummy.

UPDATE: This post has been edited to protect the anonymity of our source.

From Deidre D. via our Facebook timeline:

Today around 3:15pm I tied my dog Z up to a tree on 19th St in front of Radish, just off Valencia. I went into a store for about 10-15 minutes. When I came back she was gone and there was no sign of her. I am pretty sure she was stolen. She has a locator chip in her but it will only be useful if she is turned in. She is a yellow lab mix. I am desperate to get her home safely. We’re offering a huge cash reward on her behalf, no questions asked. If anyone has any ideas on how to get her back please let me know. I’m new to the Mission.

Contact us if you have any thoughts and we’ll get them to Deidre.

UPDATE: Z has been found! Yay!

In an Indybay post titled “San Francisco Yuppies Attacked In Solidarity With Pacific Northwest Grand Jury Resisters,” somebody called FI takes responsibility for the event:

In the early morning of August 22 in San Francisco’s Mission District, we joyfully attacked all presence of gentrification and yuppie windows we could find. These malicious acts were done in solidarity with those in the Pacific Northwest resiting Grand Jury’s. New and old condos, cafes, BMW’s, Porsches, Mercedes, antique stores, fine restaurants, modern furniture stores, among many others, had their windows permanently etched with (A), DIE, Die Yuppie Scum, Fuck Off Yuppies, Yuppies Out!, and a variety of other obscenities.

To our companions currently facing or who do face Grand Jury’s in the future: SAY NOTHING! You have waves of invisibles behind you ready to coalesce from the woodwork and attack at the ready.

Read on for more.

Also, debate rages on in the comments section of our original post.

(Thanks, Nicky.)

Not sure if you’ve seen this already, but let this stand as testament to how much cyclists care about their bicycles and just how far they’ll go to recover their rides.  Check out the whole thing either here or below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-GVpIaPEGM

Two things about this:

1) When our protagonist attempts to make a citizen arrest, he doesn’t tackle the guy as an overzealous I may have done in that situation.  He keeps his cool and keeps documenting.

2) I’m totally wearing my lucky hat tomorrow.  And I’m never ever wearing a black shirt with green stripes.

Also, don’t forget to write down your bike’s serial number, which is the only way you can really prove that you’re its rightful owner.  And not on your wrist!  Save that for show stamps and slap bracelets!

(Thanks Jin!)

Previously:

• BART bike parking is not secure
• Shitty bike thieves caught on camera, identification help needed
• Where was your bike stolen?
• Bike stolen along with rack it was locked to INSIDE a building