Mission Mission

Imagine enjoying an Improved Whiskey Cocktail along with a Margherita with Burrata at Beretta when your pal informs you that your motorcycle parked out front was just knocked over by a car.  That’s what happened to this fellow on the right, who immediately came outside to inspect the damage.  The woman on the left had been attempting to exit the above parking spot when she backed into the bike, and wouldn’t have noticed had it not been for the protestations of those waiting outside for a table at the popular establishment.  The following exchange ensued:

Biker: “Oh shit.  Oh shit shit shit.  Ahmm, I’m going to need your information, ma’am.”

Driver: “And I’m going to need your information too.”

Biker: “What?”

Driver:  ”Well, you were parked illegally behind me, and I didn’t see your motorcycle when I tried to back out of this space.”

Biker: “What?”

I didn’t stick around to witness the resolution of the conflict, but I’m certain that you dear readers can weigh in with regard to the logistics of this operation.  You’ve already told us why it’s really bad for scooters to get knocked over, so I can only hope this ended well.

I think this should be a parklet. Fancy yuppies with their fancy SUVs can go park in the Marina.

Photographer Dennis Kernohan was on the scene for the aftermath of what looks like an epic flip. Over on the photo page, he offers three guesses as to the cause of the crash. Squeaky Clean Dave was the first to respond:

1) SFPD pursuit?
2) Bridge & Tunnel morons?
3) Bay Area drivers can’t hack it in any sort of weather?

Try your luck.

The party bus pulled into its parking spot and a massive throng of 20-somethings spilled out and began marching determinedly toward their destination.  The obvious thing to do was to see what kind of crazy fun they were up to, so of course we followed them.  From their conversations, it sounded as though they were all European, until we realized we were really drunk and they were just speaking in plain old regular English.

Where was the hot party spot at which they ended up?  Why, El Farolito of course!  The only strange thing was that it was 11pm rather than 2am, which means that it was no Broke-Ass Stuart party bus.  Still, that is one rad looking bus.

I always say I’d like to see Joey Ramone, the Pope, Mickey Rourke and Lil Mama cruising around in the Mission’s famous turreted Cadillac. Who belongs in this speedy machine?

[Photo and further commentary by Ice Tubes]

Previously:

Legit Rap Song About a Volvo Station Wagon

Hella Volvos

Remember To Love Volvo

Not one week after I noticed a gaggle of these three-wheelers in front of Chicken John’s, The Wall Street Journal took an interest in the city’s Cushman culture. Yes, it looks like this is indeed “a thing”.

Check out the article and video on WSJ, where the owners rave about getting mad children love, parking wherever they want, and scaring the shit out of drivers whose meters are about to expire. Apparently, these babies are also major graffiti magnets. But at least some thoughtful taggers tend to ask first:

They say, ‘Hey, do you mind if I write my graffiti on your car?’

Uh, yes.

[WSJ via Schlomo, another proud Cushman owner who uses it to deliver Banh Mi]