Mission Mission

Honest question: Why does the Tesla brand give me such strong douche vibes even though electric cars are clearly much better for the planet? https://t.co/vVnp3RcIiV

— daisy barringer (@daisy) July 29, 2017

Another side benefit of using @FordGoBike: forced break from looking at screens! It's like I really saw my neighborhood for the first time 🤓

— Ethan Teng (@dancingfoodie) July 29, 2017

Mission Local reported on the listing earlier this week:

A nine-bedroom home on Dolores Street near 16th Street is for rent for $18,000 a month, possibly as an “Airbnb Cash Cow” or a tech incubator.

The broker, Bill Harkins, said any master tenant who chooses to pursue the rental as an Airbnb short term rental rather than a family home or a home for several roommates would have to follow all city ordinances, which includes getting a business license and registering as a short term rental hotel with the city. He added that he got the idea that someone might like to use the building as such from a former tenant, who told him she made $70,000 a year providing short term rental rooms.

Despite Harkins’ insistence that everything would be by-the-book, the listing is now gone. Read on for more.

That being said, follow us on Facebook if you like

And please enjoy all these old posts involving Facebook, especially the one about Zeitgeist closing…

Nah, just kidding. I don’t want to know.

[via Megan Z]

It’s like that HBO show about Silicon Valley but much shorter and a little darker:

Now please enjoy this list of other mayhem by Ryan Christopher Parks…

Our pal Dan went to an event called West Coast Craft last week and THERE WERE TITTIES EVERYWHERE WHAT DOES IT MEAN????

[link]

Now please enjoy this list of titty-related Mission Mission posts from over the years…

Cute.

Why does Airbnb need a campaign headquarters you ask? Why, because they’re running for President of the New World Order, of course!

Capp Street Crap was on the scene:

The battle against a Nov. 3 ballot initiative to put the reins on vacation rentals will be led from the corner of 20th and Mission streets.

This afternoon, supporters of Airbnb-sponsored San Francisco for Everyone were busy cleaning windows on the former T-Mobile space at 2401 Mission St. Desks had already been set up inside, although a woman working outside told me their campaign office won’t officially open there until August 15.

Read on for lots more on the space and the campaign itself.

UPDATE: OOPS!

Admitting mistake, Airbnb scraps plan to open campaign office at 20th and Mission – http://t.co/JFsAmewy9W via @Shareaholic

— Capp Street Crap (@cappstreetcrap) August 5, 2015

For instance, yesterday I was sitting in the park and a group of dudes sat down near me and started talking very loudly about a number of things.

One of them pointed out that big new high rise, in the background of the above photo, to the right of Mission High’s bell tower. He says a colleague of theirs is moving in to a 2-bedroom condo there.

“Guess how much he’s paying? … Fifty-eight!!”

He’s moving in next week and doesn’t have a roommate lined up any time soon, but he’s not worried about it. He’s just been promoted to senior developer at Netflix, says his friend, by way of explanation. It’s just $5800 a month.

“I get it, living in the high rise, with the view — and if you wanna fuck a bitch, in the window, and be all like, ‘This is MY city.’ ”

I get it.

Apparently the guy’s rationale is that he’s worked really hard for a long time living in shitty places and hasn’t really lived his life. And now he’s been promoted and he’s breaking up with girlfriend because she’s moving to Chicago and he can’t leave the Bay Area and doesn’t want to do the long distance thing. So now he’s ready to live his life. Gotta have a ridiculous condo.

The group speculated as to why their friend didn’t get a place in SoMa, so as to be closer to the train, and then they changed topics and started talking about a video game where there’s a woman who works for you, and you can turn her into a dog.

And then they started talking about whether or not they should “get another bottle of Chenin.”

Netflix is great though. BoJack Horseman and Kimmy Schmidt are the two best shows on TV right now if you ask me.

[PHOTO REDACTED BECAUSE I'M NICE, BUT IT WAS REALLY GOOD. CONTROL IS AN ILLUSION.]

Writer and “former startup person” Kate Imbach (not pictured) tells us about it in a new story called “A Woman in Tech,” using a fictional world where animals (of varying spots on the food chain) run tech companies:

I’m the only female swan in the office of a very successful start-up. Vanity Fair and Fortunehave profiled our CEO, a handsome teenage grizzly bear. He has no idea what he’s doing. He lumbers around, throwing fish from the $100,000 custom aquarium (we still aren’t even profitable!) into his mouth, talking about how great salmon is for his fur while the rest of us fill out spreadsheets and make him rich. Only in San Francisco could you have a CEO who hibernates for six months a year.

The bear has a temper. If something displeases him during a meeting he roars and growls like a madman. During these outbursts I roll my eyes at the golden retrievers from sales while the bear’s assistant, an aggrieved sparrow, tries to feed him whichever cold-pressed juice BuzzFeed says is best for nerves. Watching a bird try to feed a bear an $8 bottle of juice is enough to keep a draft of my resignation letter in a secret folder, believe me.

The worm asks me to lunch almost every day, and occasionally out of professional decorum I feel obliged to eat with him. Last week as we waited for our orders in a café, he sank back into his sticky tube of a body, looked me up and down and asked, “Hey now, so how do you keep so fit?”

Ick. Read on for lots more.

[Photo by MCC]