Mission Mission

Hey, it looks like our pal Broke-Ass Stuart just got into the coupon game!  And, by the looks of things, he must be doing something right because his current coupon for Little Star Pizza is already selling faster than twinkies at a fat farm!  Listen to Stuart lay down the plans for his new venture:

The basic idea behind it is that I’m only gonna be bringing the illist shit I can.  It’s not gonna be stupid touristy stuff like 50% off riding the Duck Boats in the Bay.  It’s gonna be excellent food and drink spots as well as everybody’s favorite local brands.  I’m not a big corporation with start up capital, I’m a local dude trying to make everyone’s lives better.  Local business get paid while local people get something special.

Knowing him, he’s got some really dope shit lined up for his next deals.  If I were you I’d sign up for his Broke Bucks mailing list immediately and try to get one of these Little Star coupons before they sell out!

That is all.

[Photo and Title by Scotty Roo Karate]

Some of you may have noticed that the regular “Elbo Room” sign had recently been replaced with another older-looking one that reads “Amelia’s.”  Now, it’s back to the “Elbo Room” again.  So, what’s going on here?

Well, after talking to some key Elbo staff, it turns out that around 20 years ago the Elbo Room used to be a rocking dyke bar named Amelia’s that allegedly would have put the Lex to shame.  Every year when Pride rolls around, they dig the old sign out of storage and install it in front as an homage to the bar’s colorful history.  Then, when Pride weekend ends and all the brunches are over, bloody marys flowing in the gutter, they lock it up again and go back to the regular ol’ Elbo Room.  So there you go!

History lesson with Professor Sarkarati over!

Back to Normal

[Normal Elbo Photo by SF Bar Experiment]

A nice little story to brighten up this needlessly gloomy June morning!  After the call went out on Monday about a probably stolen tandem bike that was found abandoned after Sunday Streets by a kind stranger, sleuthy MM readers discovered a similar Craigslist ad and the real owner eventually came forward. 

Great work to everyone involved in uniting this happy couple and their trusty tandem bicycle!  We here at MM haven’t felt this useful since helping to reunite kidnapped Mr. Pickle with his delicious sandwich-purveying Mama Pickle.

Mr. Pickle Saga

BREAKING: Mr. Pickle Stolen!

BREAKING: Mr. Pickle Found!

BREAKING: Mr. Pickle Hostage Situation!

UPDATE: Mr. Pickle to be Voluntarily Returned?

Mr. Pickle Returned to Mama Pickle!

Previously:

Found a Probably Stolen Tandem Bike 

Damn! I was going to get this plate. Well, I guess the one with a wolf silhouette is still available… but it’s just not the same.

(snapped on the way up to Bernal Hill)

Cold Beer, Cold Competition.

Hey what do Google, cheese, authentic consumer electronics, and now “fixed gear bicycles” have in common? They are all hard to come by in China.

Poor Nie Zheng (pictured) had to wait his entire life to complete his Mission hipster look:

‘It’s been a dream since I was a kid to get a bicycle like this,’ the 40-year-old fashion photographer told me. ‘But no one sold them here.’ It took nearly nine months, he said, to get a track bike he wanted sent from England in 2007.

Someone throw a benefit show for these guys, already.

(via Slate)

Previously:

Kevmo goes to China

How To Drink From a Bag o’ Brew

Could this be the same mystery golf cart that was spotted last month while the mysterious driver was epicly failing a DUI test?  While the speakers did not seem sufficient to blast Public Enemy for all to hear, at least this one comes with a Vespa sidecar.

Could Cushmans become the hipster version of Smart Cars?  They are super easy to park but can’t even go on a highway, just like enjoying the streamlined design of no brake or gear cables while being unable to effectively bomb Potrero Hill (minus the fish-tailing, of course).

Could a future question on the analogy section of the hipster GRE possibly be:

ROAD BIKE : FIXIE

• smart car : cushman

Ha, Hipster GRE!

Previously:

Mystery Drunken Golf Cart

Mission Mystery Machine Meter Maid

Inside Schlomo’s Cushman

POSSIBLE SUSPECT

My buddy Mike posted the first salvo on Facebook this morning:

After band practice last night, I saw a guy pulled over on Mission St. The dude had been driving a golf cart, and was epicly failing a drunk driving test. Where is a video camera when you need one?

Apres, the comments deluge . . .

I’d heard of that guy and then I saw him in my neighborhood driving around, BLASTING hip hop! I feel like I should hate him, but I kind of love him!

I see that guy stumble out of the Latin American at LEAST once a week. And he always lets random people cruise around in his cart. It might not have been him at all, but someone else!

I saw a guy cruising around a while back, blasting public enemy, in a METER READER’s cart — could it be a different guy??

Anyone have any tips as to what this mystery mobile might be all about or who could be behind it?  Could it be the Mystery Machine Meter Maid?  Or perhaps Schlomo’s Cushman is making a Bahn Mi comeback?  Gumshoes, we need answers!

Moments ago.

From Spots Unknown.

Update: Its probably hail. Still on hold with the National Weather Service to fact-check while maintaining my hipster image and sense of cool. There were at least 4 errors in this update. Find them all and win a basket of fries. -vic