Mission Mission

In honor of what is apparently Bodily Functions Week here on Mission Mission, my microscopic bladder, and as a visiting blog tourist, I’d like to take this opportunity to praise your bar/restaurant restroom options.

Here’s my unofficial Mission Sit or Squat break down.

(Note: these reviews are strictly for the ladies, although on a previous visit I did  sneak into the men’s room at Beretta and found it to be quite clean.)

Shotwells- definitely a sit. Nice and clean, with no shortage of soap or paper towels.

Amnesia- ugh, squat! On two separate nights I visited, and between them I got in all my isometric exercise for the week. But, I don’t blame the bar, I blame the near-sighted lady patrons.

Tacqueria Cancun- I think I’m going to go with sit, although my judgment may be blurred by the muchas cervezas I consumed earlier in the evening.

The Uptown- hmm, this was kind of a sit/squat situation. On the one hand you have to pass through a completely pitch black room containing the sink, which was almost creepy enough to make me abort mission entirely, but once I braved it I found the toilet itself to be super clean.

But the winner of the week was Benders, if only because the first stall contains this mystical unicorn graffiti!

Unicorns are magical creatures, even when watching you do your business.

Overall, you Mission ladies seem to be way less nasty than us dirty birds back in Boston, or at the very least you have some pretty diligent toilet scrubbers working the bars.

Either way, give yourselves a hand! (but make sure you’ve washed them first, okay?)

SFist has the scoop, and a ton more photos.

Previously:

Ali Baba’s Cave Is the Place to Pee

This just in from Dolores Park Works. Porta-potties will be installed along Dolores St. this summer! I guess petitions really do work!

On non-event weekends (event producers are required to provide portable toilets), RPD will provide five portable toilets and a hand washing station.

The Association of Creepy Muni Track Peeping Toms (ACMTPT) is expected to protest this development.

(photo by superdillettante)

Hangin’ at the Cave around 10ish last night, we took notice of a very steady stream of people coming in just to use the turlet. One after the other. This guy was the sixth in about five minutes! And the counter staff doesn’t even bat an eye!

So, next time the line is too long at Mission Police Urination Station, head for Ali Baba’s.

As photographer elleon ma i points out, the honest and polite responses to this question posed in the Udupi Palace bathroom are classic.

Previously:

Quail Mail

Life’s a Gas

I completely agree with reader Fred regarding the greatness of the bathroom ceilings at Doc’s Clock.  They also have one of the nicest Sunday brunches in the city in Three Papayas, a Thai/Vietnamese masterpiece by ”underground superstar chef” Tawei of Yamo fame.

But they don’t have NO JUKE.

And we’re talking about one of the greatest jukeboxes in the city according to SF Appeal.  What happened?

Previously:

Doc’s Clock Really Does Have the Nicest Bathroom Ceilings

Pop-up Thai/Vietnamese Brunch at Doc’s Clock

Right?

Photo and title by reader Fred M. (Thanks, Fred!)

Previously:

Life’s a Gas in the Bathroom at Doc’s Clock

Doc’s Clock Really Does Smell Like Bathroom

This really only works if everybody follows the rules. If the guy before you didn’t, then there is surely all the more reason not to sit down. So, I’m sure this might work in Japan, where this blog oki yo is broadcasting from, but not nowheres else. Link.

Plus, if you’re really really drunk, once your pants are down and you’re seated, how easy is it going to be to get back up?

Previously:

Please Sit Down If You Are in Gwar

Special Tiolet Flushing Instructions

Misguided 90′s angst lives on in the Dolores Park Men’s bathroom.

Previously:

Dolores Park To Close

Save Dolores Park! With Internet Rage!

I always thought that they had to take off those crazy outfits to go to the bathroom (and that porta-potties were for mere mortals).  Looks like he got stuck!

Photo from SXSW courtesy of Trevor, before he was devoured (below).

this won't end well