Mission Mission

Good news! The 24th St BART escalator is working!

Here we see the escalator in its new spin cycle. This is a new feature added by BART engineers to clear the escalator of HUMAN WASTE.

Via SFGate:

When work crews pulled open a broken BART escalator at San Francisco’s Civic Center Station last month, they found so much human excrement in its works they had to call a hazardous-materials team.

While the sheer volume of human waste was surprising, its presence was not. Once the stations close, the bottom of BART station stairwells in downtown San Francisco are often a prime location for homeless people to camp for the night or find a private place to relieve themselves.

All those biological excretions can gum up the wheels and gears of BART’s escalators, shutting them down for long periods of extended repairs, increasing station cleaning costs and creating an unpleasant aroma for morning commuters.

Thus far, BART has blamed this on:

1) the main drive gear

2) an overly-sensitive sensor

3) shit.

We should have a contest to guess what’s next on BART’s checklist. I’m guessing:

4) Birds!

Canada!

Reader @doogiehowsahthinks the timing is suspect:

Wow, it’s such an interesting coincidence that as the story of BART neglecting Mission stations started to gain traction, this story suddenly comes out, blaming dirty poor people for the problem.

We clearly need to wrap the escalator and all BART passengers in vinyl.

On the other hand, here’s a trippy panorama of the 24th St BART foyer:

If you’ve ever been curious about time traveling to 1805 Austria all you gotta do is pop in this pooper and dial 1-323-459-4303. Right around the corner from Rhea’s, or is it Circle K?

Just ask yourself:

Aunt Bill’s “Stuff” on Valencia is one of my favorite boxes filled with junk in the Mission (and there are a lot of boxes filled with junk in the Mission). On recent visits, their stock included vintage poison bottles, purple fur coats, a R2D2-shaped beer cooler, this Jacksons record, and half a dozen Eames chairs.

They’ve just opened up a second floor of stuff, and with it, a sparkly disco ball to entertain you while you poop.

Large Marge is.

I think. Then again I’m pretty durnk.

Rejoice! No more accidental butthole peeping!

[Photos via LLL and Jess]

So I went to paste in “The End,” but it’s really more of a “Riders on the Storm” morning, right?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKbPUzhWeeI