Mission Mission

On the chalkboard at Virgil’s, naturally.

[via Gillian]

First things first, let’s be clear about one thing:  a hate crime is an act perpetrated against another due to their race, gender, sexual orientation, or religion.  It often results in the death or persecution of entire groups of people, and it is deplorable.  It most definitely does NOT include a confrontation over a highly controversial and expensive piece of intrusive technology.  There’s no need to go all Tom Perkins over here.

Now, on to the story.  Over the weekend, tech writer Sarah Slocum vented on Facebook:

OMG so you’ll never believe this but… I got verbally and physically asaulted and robbed last night in the city, had things thrown at me because of some wanker Google Glass haters, then some *bleeeeeeeeeep* tore them off my face and ran out with them then and when I ran out after him his *bleeeeeeep* friends stole my purse, cellphone walet and everything..

Of course, other patrons of Molotov’s someone working across the street had a different take upon reading the article:

That is not at all what happened. It was after last call, she was wasted and being a bitch, someone called her a glasshole and her boyfriend tried to fight the dude, and got his ass whooped. The glasses fell off her face and someone picked them up and gave them back to her. Nobody robbed her either, this [person] is making all this shit up. Go Molotovs!!!!!

At this point I thought the name sounded familiar, and I realized I went to school with her, so I reached out with the above version of events.  Sarah went on to continue defending herself on Facebook:

I wasn’t being any sort of a bitch until after I was flicked off, called a bitch, had dirty wet bar rags thrown at me and had people invading my personal space and trying to rip them off my face.

Your “friend” must have been one of the people who robbed me or who were friends with the robbers and tech glass haters at that bar and must have been the wasted one because they can’t even tell the difference between males and females or remember the story correctly. No glasses fell of my face. Those were my friend’s prescription glasses who defended me and got in a fight with the guy that ripped the glasses off my face and ran out of the bar with them. And if anyone got their ass beat it was the guy that that assaulted me and ran outside the bar with the Google Glasses. The only injuries that my friend has is a scrapped knee. And actually he was jumped by two other **** while he was fighting the douch bag.

I was minding my own biz with a computer phone. Everyone has a computer or phone these days. And what have they done to the city? Given people cool cellphones?? And awesome technology that we all use and take for granted everyday? I realize that I represented the tech millionaires and billionaires in their eyes, but that isn’t me and I didn’t even pay for my Google Glasses, one of my developer friends gave them to me because he wasn’t using them and doesn’t currently have time to develop an app for them right now.

Now, the whole story sounds pretty crazy.  There’s conflicting versions of events and a lot of alcohol involved.  Someone else even sent me this message on Facebook:

I wouldn’t normally comment on such things but i actually met this girl on the street after the incident happened. Couple of things: It was 2am on a friday night when i met her she was less than sober (she had had approx a small child full of vodka cran’s) secondly from what she told me it sounded like she left her bag and phone unattended in a busy bar on a friday night. Her friends were so riled up (and obnoxious) that they almost started fighting with me when i argued it maybe wasn’t the smartest idea to wear google glass and film in a punk rock bar and leaving a bag and phone unattended wasn’t the wisest of decisions. I left her feeling sorry only for myself that i had spent 5 minutes of my life in her groups bosom.

So I don’t know what happened.  What I do know, however, is that it is absolutely moronic to label this as a hate crime, as Josh Wolford thought fit to do.  Perspective, people.  Please.

(Now, if you want to go ahead and call it a HAIGHT CRIME, by all means be my guest)

We left out a number of good bar anagrams when last we surveyed this topic, so here we go again:

Bold Curve = Dovre Club
You Oral Cock = Royal Cuckoo
Cork Bra = Rock Bar
“Rum,” I lied = Delirium
Let’s Tag = Gestalt
Both No Hope = Phone Booth
Cut, Toke, Honk = The Knockout
Long Android = Iron and Gold
Robe Loom = Elbo Room
Panned Party = Napper Tandy
Out Homo-Meerkat = The Make-Out Room
Yes Colon = Clooney’s

We’ve included some La Lenguan bars this time. (Maybe next we’ll do the rest of SF too.) As always, highlight the list to see the translations.

[Cut, Toke, Honk photo by @ezeweez]

Last month we took a look at the wild messages hidden in Mission street names. Today, bar names. Behold:

Simian Bros = Mission Bar
Calamine Lubricant = Latin American Club
Teat Itch = The Attic
Be Nerds = Benders
Never Have Tits = Thieves Tavern
Origami Solvers = Virgil’s Sea Room
Swell Host = Shotwell’s
Some Death = Homestead
Smallish Onion Silo = Mission Hill Saloon
Bye, Jean = Jay ‘n’ Bee
Open Mall = Lone Palm
Cold Cocks = Doc’s Clock
Tubby Area = Beauty Bar
Bland Tic = Blind Cat
Thirty-Machete Cheddar Element = Dr. Teeth
Trick God = Trick Dog

Highlight the list to see translations. Which ones are most appropriate?

["Never Have Tits" photo by Maggie]

SocketSite followed up on its original report, and found that the building owners are indeed pretty far along into the process of replacing Elbo Room with this big ‘ol condo complex:

A detailed set of architectural plans has been drafted for the project and the building’s owners have authorized the architects to act as their agents in submitting applications for environmental reviews, a historic resource evaluation, variances and Conditional Use. That’s every step required to get the project formally approved.

In fact, a month after the Planning Department provided their feedback on the preliminary plans, the application fee for which was nearly $5,000 alone, a follow-up meeting was scheduled between the Planning Department and architects to discuss next steps and plans for submitting the Environmental Evaluation and Historic Resource report for the project to move forward.

Read on.

Mission Local reported over the weekend that plans have been submitted to the city that involve destroying the building and replacing it with a big condo complex. And then in the comments section:

Matt Shapiro, co-owner of Elbo Room, here. We are not going anywhere anytime soon…the building owners (close fiends of ours), submitted a proposal (which has to be public), but are not acting on it….I find it funny that no one bothered to check with us before writing their articles. [link]

Soooo, what’s the deal? Nobody seems to have any ideas why a building owner would go through the process of submitting such a proposal and then decide not to act on it.

[Photos from "Hot Faces" shoot outside Elbo Room, 2010]

UPDATE:

@missionmission Approvals will take 2/3 years, plus another year for permits & financing. So 2017, maybe. By then we could be in recession

— J.K. Dineen (@SFBIZjkdineen) February 3, 2014

As Patti Dillion explains to the Bernal Heights History Project:

This is a photo of the interior of Dolan’s Bar which was at 3311 Mission St from about 1897 to 1919.  The Dolan Bros were:

• William T
• John E – her great grandfather and member of the SFPD
• Michael H – also of the SFPD
• Lawrence J – plumber by trade and elected to the CA State Assembly & Sheriff of San Francisco, appointed Sealer of Weights and Measures (second from the left in the photo)

Says Patti: “I’m wondering if someone has a photo of the exterior of the building from about the same time. I would love to see what it looked like back then.”

Can anyone help her out?

Sunny patio, heat lamp, and a Bloody Mary (not pictured) from what just might be the best bar in the city.

Ps. Don’t worry, Knockout! I still love you! I just wish you had a patio, too!

“Let it be known that Pop’s has been around since 1947, and I like old things,” says Michael “Spike” Krouse, the new owner of Pop’s, “Pop’s is not going away.”

Krouse is a longtime San Franciscan and a longtime SF bartender and bar owner, having worked at several bars all over town before taking over ownership of Madrone Lounge (and reinventing it as the now very acclaimed Madrone Art Bar) about 5 years back. It came to our attention today that he is the new owner of Pop’s right here in the Mission! So, we asked for a Q&A, and he was into it:

Mission Mission: In general, and specifically in San Francisco, what makes a bar a good one?

Spike: A good bar to me is all about AUTHENTICITY. I came to San Francisco because I wanted to be in a place that was unique to everywhere else. I expect the same things from the places I eat and drink at. That’s what makes them special. It can be divey or fancy as long as it’s authentic. And when it’s done right it becomes alive with energy, and you feel that energy the moment you walk in the room. Great bars can and will stand the test of time, they are not trendy, they move beyond what is artificial and become a fabric of the place and time that they exist in.

It’s been an adventure, and one that I can’t wait to do again at Pop’s. Madrone is as much about me as it is the neighborhood and the location. The location dictates what the bar becomes. The customers define the bar. I just listen to them — and my staff. It’s kind of like throwing darts: sometimes you hit a bullseye and sometimes you miss the board. At Madrone I’ve done both, but I keep trying new things.

Besides the neon sign? The history: it was started in 1947 by World War II gunner Jack O’Connor returning home from the South Pacific. His dad helped him open the bar, hence the name Pop’s. (See the attached picture.) It became an instant SF institution that allowed him to foster both his innate man-of-the-hour persona, and his enduring affinity for fun. He was also a bartender at the Hungry I and 12 Adler (now Specs). He also opened up the New Hearth, known for “High Balls and High Times.” He was married five times and liked to gamble. (See attachment #2.) Over the years the Bar has had a few different owners (Bradley Fitzgerald, Francis Prieto, and currently Malia and Harmony). In the early ’80s Pop’s moved to the current location for whatever reason. Probably a rent hike. Nonetheless, the history of the bar has character and I love that aspect.

24th Street is still the heart of the Mission, it’s still Mom and Pop, it’s still authentic. I remember my first visit 20+ years ago, when I was a student at the art institute and I was turned on to Precita Eyes and Galeria de la Raza. I take my kids to St. Francis Fountain, and play in the mini park while we wait. I like La Victoria Bakery, and Roosevelt Tamale Parlor. I like all the murals, and I especially like that it still feels like the San Francisco I fell in love with.

Change is inevitable. And these two streets are comparable. Over here, for the most part we have people who care about the neighborhood and how their business fit into the fabric of the community. I think that’s super important. You can’t be just a taker. Especially in areas like 24th and Divisadero. They are both small tight-knit communities. My take on the overall changes I see in the city is this: I came here 22 years ago, because I fell in love with San Francisco, I fell in love with the idea that no matter who you were or what you were into, this city would welcome you. I came here with a very little bit of $ in my pocket and found place to live, and a way to grow and experience the life I wanted. I may have grown up in Las Vegas, but I came home the moment I moved here. And now I’m raising my children in San Francisco. What concerns me now, and I hope the politicians can figure it out, but if I was 20 years old now, I don’t know how I would be able to move here and make a life. I think we need to maintain a place for the young dreamers; otherwise our great city will become less unique. We need different people.

Yes I do. It’s going to be a place where everyone is welcome and everyone feels at home. I’m so happy to have a bar with such a strong history in San Francisco. Any bar that has lasted 67 years has earned the right to continue and thrive. I can’t wait to push it forward with integrity.

[Photos by the San Francisco Public Library]

Just in time for winter, SFist has compiled a list of SF bars with fireplaces. The Mission’s own Homestead made the cut:

While the Homestead’s heat source is actually a cast iron stove, it’ll cure your winter chill just as effectively as anything else on the list. With free peanuts that you’re free to toss on the floor and buxom nude portraits adorning the walls, the place hasn’t changed much in more than 110 years of operation.

Read on for lots more fireplace.