Mission Mission

Well, it may not have been as scandalous as the orgy in Dolores Park, but if you’re going at it for more than ten minutes in a crowded bar, you’re bound to have someone yell this at you (before they ride away listening to Kraftwerk).

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

Keep in Touch Operating System? Kyle is The Old School? What does this mean? Mollie claims to have the answer, but is unsure of the language.

On the back of the bar at The Uptown.

UPDATE: And like that it seems we have the answer from Scott: “Short for Kim and Toni’s, previous owners of the bar.”

Fair enough, thanks Scott. Though I still like “Keep in Touch Operating System”. Which would be a good name for a touch screen year book interface.

In a dumpster.

Where the Ladies At? is an app for the iPhone that answers an age old question: “Where [are] the Ladies [currently situated]?”

From the app description:

Looking for ‘dem ladies?

Well stop the search, cause we found ‘em.

The where the ladies at iPhone application is a compass pointing to the venue with the most ladies. Done by the fine gents at http://wheretheladies.at. It could be a bar it could be a cafe, who knows!

But look: judging from the screenshots, it turns out “the ladies” are at a couple of Mission bars! Specifically, the Latin American Club and the Elbo Room. Anyone want to head over and scope the scene for the rest of us fellas?

From what I can gather, this app aggregates foursquare checkins in San Francisco coming from, well, ladies. Then it finds the location with the highest concentration of said ladies and shows you a big ass arrow pointing you there, because apparently people who need an app to find ladies have an innate poor sense of direction.

Now what the user will do with this information is anyone’s guess. But if this is his preferred method of meeting babes, I’ll bet he’ll just sit in a dark corner and elbow his “wingman” while making a a head nodding gesture towards the ladies in question.

[Thanks jacobchills!]

This bold flyer, spotted at local fave the Attic, proudly proclaims having the longest happy hour in the city.  Of course, this is a hotly debated topic, as several other bars around the city also make a similar boast.  For instance, the Elbo Room also claims that their happy hour, from 5-9pm everyday, is the longest in the city.

Depending on how we want to look at this, both sides are technically correct.  The Elbo Room offers a more versatile longest happy hour, whereas the Attic’s weekend and Monday specials can not be denied.  Me?  I’d be happy just to know the longest and cheapest happy hours in the Mission.  Where do you go to forget the pain of your job (or just whenever the bar has drinks that you can actually afford)?

Previously:

NIMBY says NO MORE DJs at the Attic

(Artist’s recreation of the crime)

In just the most recent example of the rampant squirrel problem facing The Mission these days, a squirrel squirrelled his way into Zeitgeist yesterday and used his tiny little dirty claws to scratch at the bar’s decorative wall hangings. Animal Control came to pick him up, but he squirrelled out of the cage and scampered up a tree.

This just hits home what we all have long known to be true: our neighborhood is being taken over by squirrels. Sure, they were here first, but that’s no excuse to allow them to scurry willy-nilly all about, terrorizing pigeons and rats alike. I think I speak for us all when I say that something must be done about these little beasts. If the Board of Supervisors aren’t willing to put their feet down on the problem, I’ll stamp out these nut jobs myself.

Oooooh. Wait. Sorry. It was a man, a squirrelly man. Oooops. Never mind.

Misread at SFist.

The best part was when I commended him on his outfit and he responded with “Mario who?”  For a second I thought he was messing with me, but then his girlfriend was all, “No, seriously, the only video game he’s ever played is Pong.  He grew up in the 70s.”

Previously:

Super Mario Pizza

Tomorrow night (12/8) at El Rio from 6:30-8pm Mike Speigler and company challenge you to drunken yourself up and try to spell a bunch of words. Why is this happening? They explain:

Have a consonant craving to avenge a childhood loss suffered during a duel with words? Do you use the English language daily, but rarely find yourself with the freedom to spell when imbibing booze?? Do you even know what a shot of Extenze male enhancement drink tastes like??? If any of these queries needs an answer then come to El Rio on Wednesday December 8th to take part in the first ever Drunken Spelling Bee!!

What is Extenze? Check out this site if you care, but a warning, while you’re trying to figure out how to click on the links, someone will come up behind you and start making a bunch of stale jokes about your supposed shortcomings. Then you’ll whip around and pretend to throw hot coffee in their face but the lid will “accidentally” come off and actually drench them. Now whose performance is in question??

The Facebook event page is here.

El Rio is at 3158 Mission near Cesar Chavez.

In case you missed soon-to-be Orange County punk legends Cat Party a few weeks ago at Bender’s, Andy Miller (who last brought us the supremely metaphysical “Women on the Women’s Building“) has you covered here with a quick and dirty interview interwoven with some of their best tunes.  Singer and guitarist Ryan Nichols has a lot to say about everything from San Francisco vs. Orange County to fast vs. slow songs.

If you like what you see, they’re playing again on New Year’s Eve Eve (December 30th) at the Hemlock along with the frenetic Face the Rail and (once again) my band, La Corde.  Stick that in your planner!

At Benders.