Mission Mission

MM reader Genea recently spotted this informative bathroom PSA and adds:

As we all know, shit gets stolen at bars in our neighborhood. Let’s start a new campaign that might end with a few less girls crying about their lost iPhones at the end of the night….

And if dancing with your purse is too annoying, don’t forget that there’s always brockets!

Previously:

• Rash of purse thefts at Mission dive bars
• Purse/identity thefts at Mission bars continue

With the first heatwave of Spring just behind us, it’s time to start thinking about fun stuff to do outside again! And if it happens to be the first Saturday of the month, you can’t go wrong with Hard French, the fabulous daytime dance party on the El Rio patio.

Our pal Katie recently delved into the details of what makes it such a rad party on the Bold Italic:

The name Hard French was born from an offhand comment by Tina Faggotina regarding his desire to French kiss a boy hard. Devon adds, “We call it Hard French because we want people to do it hard, and our crowd really brings it.”

Read the rest here!

The first heatwave of Spring is officially upon us, and that means it’s time for another Bloody Marython! Join us this Sunday as we make the rounds through the Southside of the Mission, with plans to hit up the Attic, El Rio, Iron & Gold, and the Knockout! It better be a shitshow by the time we get to the end, so don’t disappoint!

We’re gonna start at the Attic at Noon, and you can follow any moves we make by checking out our Twitter. Also, don’t forget to tip well! See ya there! RSVP and invite your friends!

[Photo by Ariel]

Previously:

• Bloody Marython

Reader TJ posed the question in the comments section of yesterday’s post about international pop star Gotye winning it all at a pub quiz in the Tenderloin a couple days ago.

So how about it? I’ve heard good things about Shotwell’s and the Sycamore.

[Photo by Jordan]

[via WBTC]

I took my bike to the Heavy Metal Bike Shop today, and noticed this sign outside newly opened Rock Bar next door. Here’s a closeup:

Looks like Rock Bar is throwing an opening party next Wednesday, March 21, and of all things, a donkey is involved. I’m not entirely sure what that’s about, but I know one thing for sure — if it’s anything like this, I’m there.

We’re passing through the magnetic field.

[file photo by me]

According to SFWeekly, late Saturday night/early Sunday morning police responded to multiple calls involving an 80-200 person bar fight near 16th and Albion. When the officers arrived on scene, within minutes, the fight was nowhere to be found. Not a trace.

[file photo by me]

Here are some possible explanations for such an occurrence:

• Ghosts – the people who were fighting were actually ghosts and they disappeared.

• Fighting Runners – people who fight as they run; everybody was running away from and/or into the fight at the same time and at the same speed such that the fight remained relatively static while moving through space.

• West Side Story Brawl – the patrons from Monk’s Kettle and the boozers from The Kilowatt exited their respective establishments at the same moment, leading to a Sharks v. Jets style face off. Just as they began snapping at each other menacingly, the coppers were called and a little kid in a newsboy’s cap ran out into the middle of the street yelling “Scatter, it’s Officer Krupke!” The two crowds quickly dispersed into cabs and alleyways.

So, one of those three things happened.

UPDATE: Somehow a plausible fourth option is being suggested in the comments: an actual fight that originated inside Gestalt, involving a man swinging a shovel at multiple people. Sounds pretty crazy. I’d get the hell out of there in a hurry too.

[pic by Wayne Coyne]

Here’s a piece of GIF wizardry for those of you who have chosen 16th and Harrison’s Dear Mom as your pit stop.

[via Dolfapedia]