Mission Mission

2010

• Lady Gaga came to town to sample some delicious Mission sausages. I’ve got a sausage she can sample. No seriously, I’m talking about Rosamunde sausages. They’re really good and she should check it out.
• We asked you for a new Mission motto, you delivered: “The Mission: where latinos and hipsters politely ignore each other’s existence”

2009

• Someone left a friendly reminder to please take the entire free sidewalk couch, not just the cushions (it’s inhumane to separate bedbug families).
• Locals celebrated shark week by draping dead sharks over various Mission trash receptacles.

2008

• A Mission motorist took his disdain for self-obsessed bicyclists to Craigslist, actually made me hate cyclists a little.
• A guy posted a Missed Connection for the individual that kicked his drunk ass at Zeitgeist, praised the beating as a “masterpiece”

Hey fellas! Her Majesty’s Secret Beekeeper is apparently hosting a singles night!

Seriously though, I stopped in to the storefront near 20th and Mission for the first time this weekend. The honey is pricey at $16, but it doesn’t get much more hyper-local than picking between “Inner Mission Honey” vs. “Mission Dolores Honey”. They all taste very different, which I guess isn’t that surprising given the distinct fauna and odors of each neighborhood.

I think I’ll pass on the “MUNI Tracks Above Dolores Park Honey” variety.

Unlike most, who bought Chad Robertson’s Tartine Bread book as a last-minute Christmas gift for a “foodie” friend who probably hasn’t opened it since, Mr. Eric Sir actually tried baking the country sourdough recipe in his undoubtably tiny Mission kitchen, with some degree of success.

Here’s a snip:

For those not in the know, Tartine’s bread recipe is old-fashioned naturally leavened bread. That means you basically put some flour and water out on the shelf and let it go “bad,” and that’s your yeast. That’s right, no little packet of yeast; it just comes magically from the air. (Cool, huh?) So the only ingredients you need to buy are flour, water, and salt.

Flour, water, and salt? Sounds easy! Not so much. Apparently it takes an all day to do the prep and baking work, which is only slightly faster than actually waiting in line for the real thing. He’s on his 3rd try and still working it out.

Read on and follow his progress over at Mr. Eric Sir.

“I’m on the boy’s bathroom side, holding up a unicorn hand puppet!”

Surprisingly, this is not the first time someone used unicorns to mark her territory in the park. Remember this one?

If you don’t have a unicorn hand puppet, what the hell is wrong with you? I guess you could always hold one of these into the air, too:

Then I suppose after that you could play beer pong while listening to Bob Marley’s Legend.

Extra points for sporting Silver Age Garfield (1980s era), as opposed to his current incarnation, which I’m pretty sure is spit out by a computer or a highly trained intern.

BTW, have you seen Lasagna Cat? It’s amazing:

Form and fashion: in this example of a symbiotic mutualism, the fellow above feeds on small invertebrates which could potentially harm his female host. He is additionally protected from predators by her stinging cells, to which he is immune.

This could be cool: Mission Comics is offering credit for your used graphic novels in a new rental program. After all, who can afford to purchase 6 massive volumes of Akira just to find out you still don’t know what the fuck it’s about?

I would participate, but I keep all my comics in double-polybags with non-acidic backing boards in a humidity-controlled vault, so “reading them” is not really an option.

Get the details over at Mission Comics.

There’s something to be said for being honest and up front about being a total creep.

[via lurkskatesf]

The always-astute Mr. Eric Sir is not too happy that a scale replica of SF’s Palace of Fine Arts has been erected as Ariel’s digs, instead of it’s usual function as a wedding photo backdrop, meeting place for alcatraz escapees, and place to fall in love with alleged axe murderers:

Disney’s decision to commercialize a scale model of the Palace of Fine Arts must not be tolerated. This move is clearly a middle-finger to San Francisco, a city which is serious about protesting the commercialization of public property. But we do enjoy irony, which is why the Walt Disney Family Museum is located on public land.

Uh, can I get a “hell yeah”? Read on.

Speaking of “erected”, ever notice how many boners are on the Little Mermaid cover art?

Hey drunk dude, we get it, you’re not a fan of Ben E. King. That’s no reason to crush yourself with a piano. There’s plenty left to live for.