Mission Mission

I sat across from this young couple, probably in their late teens, and eavesdropped on their cell phone conversation. I overheard the boy say, in regards hinchables juegos to their plans later in the evening: “I’m gonna get suction from the mama.”

Previously on Mission Mission:

Overheard on Muni (Oprah and Obama)

Overheard in the Financial District

Riding the 14X to the Outer Outer Mission

Please people, can we stop using these generic words to describe the people who visit/inhabit the Mission? It’s really annoying.

What’s Happened to San Francisco? (mission district)

Reply to: pers-692490589@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-23, 1:38PM PDT

When I moved here 10 years ago the City was full of cool, laid-back, smart, fun people. People who liked to hang out, smoke some bud, and do amazing, creative, productive things. Now it seems it is getting to be like everywhere else. People are all about their careers, making money, how people look, and superficiality. Did the housing market drive people away? Is SF just becoming a mini L.A.? Almost everyone over 30 seem to be boring douchbags or insipid, shallow little bitches. Everyone under 30 seems preoccupied with their “identity” making sure everyone know they’re a “hipster” or whatever.

Link, or click thumbnail for screen shot.

You stole my messenger bag from delirium. Douchebag. (mission district)

Reply to: pers-691346374@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-22, 4:13PM PDT

Look douchebag, you stole my bag from aufblasbare spiele delirium last saturday, and unless you really like sweaters, otherpeoples journals, and/ or french philosophy, the only thing of value you got was the bag itslef and my damn ray bans.
Please, keep the bag.
Please, keep the shades.
You can even keep the sweater and the philosophy.

I just want my journal. Please, give me back my journal!
If you have my journal, please email me and I’ll assume you ‘found’ it abandoned a block from delirium after the douchebag who stole my shit looked through my bag and discovered no wallet, cell phone, or ipod.

Just a journal, worthless to everybody on the planet but me.

It’s black, has a bunch of phone numbers on the back page, about half-way full, with some sketches and a black ribbon page marker.

Please!

Link, or click thumbnail for screen shot.

Previously on Mission Mission:

Very Eligible Bachelor up for Grabs at Delirium

I Swear I Didn’t Write This

Bars of the Mission: Beauty Bar & Delirium

This drunk white-guy flannel-shirt-and-converse type, after crazed dancing to a whole mess of Barry White, Marvin Gaye, and Al Green, came up to the DJ booth on Wednesday night and asked if I had anything more modern to play. I asked, “Like what? Give me a suggestion”. I think he said some names toboggan gonflable drunkenly so I couldn’t understand him, but I played it safe and said “No, sorry.” And then he asked …

“Carly Simon?”

From Missed Connections:

We met outside of Delirium. We went to my house and I got the best BJ of my life. I wanted to say thankyou, that was aufblasbarer hindernisparcours insanley good.You are a sweet little schoolgirl, and you made my week!
I would have called for a repeat, but your number is illegible. Maybe I will see you again at the bar.
Thanks again.

Ladies: Don’t line up all at once!

Link. Or click thumbnail to view.

I just bought the new Jonathan Richman album, and it’s bringing chills to my skin (I’m listening to track #8 at the moment). He migrated to San Francisco years ago, and this new album reflects this move. I fell in love with the Mission at the same time I moved here, because Jonathan (who was already my #1) would play four-night stretches at carrera obstaculos hinchables down the street from my Dolores Street apartment. His music makes walking on the streets of Valencia, Guerrero, and Mission Street much more romantic than it actually is.

He lives in the Outer Mission a few blocks from my apartment, and when I see him walking down the street every now and then, sentimental electricity runs through my muscles, tendons, and bones. To truly enjoy San Francisco (forget the bars, the hip clothes, and the ethnic food — I’m talking about atmosphere), you must get this new album.

Previous instances of Jonathan Richman on Mission Mission here.

Update: Allan liveblogged his first listen for Jojoblog. His thoughts here.

On Sunday, the San Francisco Chronicle released their list of top 100 restaurants in the Bay Area, or as I like to call it “Top 100 Restaurants for People with Money”. This is what they had to say about Bar Bambino:

Owner Christopher Losa has created one of the coolest Italian restaurants in one of the most unlikely (read dicey) areas of the Mission District. It feels like New York’s East Village, but the nod to organic, sustainable and recycled products is very West Coast. [Link]

Is the Chronicle seriously that pretentious? Tartine Bakery is listed every year, but they never said it was in a bad neighborhood. And actually, they’ve never said that because it’s next to Delfina, which the Chronicle loves.

Maybe Stuff that White People Like should add the Chronicle Food Section to their list.

Last night at the Attic, a dank, dark bar next to the 24th Street BART station, we ran into six different regulars who we know from Toronado, the best beer bar in the entire world (not an exaggeration or just a personal opinion). I discovered Toronado a week after I moved to the city, and spent all the money I never had there. My palate started off with Liberty Ale, then quickly progressed to Trappist ales (read an Oakland Tribune article about me and Roquefort 8 and 10 here), to double IPAs, triple IPAs, and finally bourbon-barrel barleywines.

After a few years of being one of those people, my palate crapped out and now all I ever enjoy is a Sierra Nevada or a nice cold can of Tecate.

Because of the above, and because I graduated from SFSU and got a 9-5, I don’t really show my face around Toronado anymore.

Apparently the regulars don’t go to Toronado either. What might the reason be? I hereby speculate that it’s the yuppies. Like a perfectly poignant South Park episode, 6:15pm on the dot, yuppies descend on Toronado. They cram the bar with their date rape shirts, and the bartenders get bitchy not because they are bitches, but because they get fed up with the yuppie shenanigans. Yuppies especially like to throw around big beer nerd names: “oh, I like the complex flavors of Racer X, but my regular standard is Pliny the Elder“.

The funny thing about the Attic is the beer selection sucks. Oh, they’ve got Racer 5 and Sierra Nevada and other boring things on tap. Their bottled beers are also so-so, so I normally opt for a Budweiser, although not my favorites of the bottled.

So while people have this love for Zeitgeist being “the Mission’s Toronado”, know that the family members of the best beer bar in the entire world opt for the dark claustrophobia of The Attic.

More Bars of the Mission.

Today SFGate showcased one of my Mission District beloveds, Bender’s. Read my past post here. This is what the Chronicle had to say:

Unassuming and without pretense, Benders is a go-to destination for a low-key night out.

With a rotating selection of 15 brews on tap ($4 a pint), don’t expect any overwrought mixological creations. Benders serves hard liquor the old-fashioned way. Margaritas ($5) come in pint glasses and a shot of whiskey with PBR chaser are $5 (a Wednesday special). Fancy cocktail lovers should ask the bartender – nicely – for a mint-flecked tangerine mojito ($5), which is available on Mondays.

I called it, didn’t I?

Now this is where the Chronicle is wrong. Their assessment of the “crowd” is the stereotypical mission hipster, which I’ve never really witnessed there. Maybe a few, but I’d say the crowd is a little older and a little tougher than what they’ve described:

Vegan bar food and indoor bike parking mean that Benders welcomes the bike-riding hipsters who are taking over the Mission District – and the people who love them.

#1: I don’t love vegans.
#2: I don’t love bike-riding hipsters. If I did, I’d probably be at Gestalt instead.

They also reviewed the food — which I’ve never had considering that sometimes they’re serving, sometimes not.

P.S. This Saturday Bender’s hosts the SF Spring D.I.Y. Indie Artist Expo from 1-5pm. Ok, this maybe a little hipstery, but individual creativism in any form is a good thing.

The best of the Bay Area’s alternative INDIE designers and artists together for a chance to share their items in a cool, fun & hip community market. Handmade Jewelry, Accessories, Clothing, Body Care, House wares, Paper Goods/Journals, Art and Records.

Link to permalinkless Lilycat events page. (Via funcheapSF.com)

Browse past Mission Mission food- and drink-related content.

Reaction to yesturday’s post regarding Zeitgeist turning into a Borders calls to mind the decades-old gentrification question in the Mission. One of my favorite places to take visiting family and friends who are not used to the grittiness of Valencia Street is Ramblas. The drinks and tapas and atmosphere here impart the attitude of the Mission (conversations, drunkenness, vitality) while the upscale nature of the restaurant provides respite from puke-stained streets and bathroom stink.

This morning, SFGate‘s The Inside Scoop reported that Ramblas owner Ron Silberstein (who also owns SoMa restaurant-brewery Thirsty Bear) acquired Cortez, a restaurant with a Michelin star (!!!). I can’t wait to see how it goes — hopefully some family will find their way into San Francisco sometime soon so I can have some organic Thirsty Bear ESB with my lamb cheek.

Link to SFGate story.

Look at this gem I found in today’s Missed Connections:

“cute white girl with bandanna at delirium saturday night. – 25 (mission district)”:

you had a tshirt and jeans on and a cute little bandanna around your neck. i was wearing jeans, tshirt, and a cute little bandanna too. We kinda matched. You have a tattoo i believe a band around your left bicep. You look more like a harcore kid than a hipster. Your guy friends were totally entertaining, the one in the suit and the aviators totally castillo inflable macked some asian girl right in front of me. You were totally cute. I am smitten. hope you had a good birthday. I’m always at delirium, maybe i’ll see you around.

Link.