Mission Mission

Reader Beth sent in this delightful video of my two favorite fried potato dipping condiments settling the score on the Dolores Park playground today. Never has there been a more exciting food war!

The closeup on the ranch bottle at the end of the clip reveals that it’s probably part of Hidden Valley Ranch’s quest to become the “new ketchup,” but whatever, this totally made my day. In fact, I think I’m going to head over to Bender’s right now and eat some tots with ketchup and ranch dressing.

Our pal Suckin’ Dick Next To Me spotted this cleverly doctored sign on a Muni door. Albeit it’s a little dramatic, even if it is referring to another godawful Muni ride. Stay youth, indeed.

As you already know, a bunch of local businesses were vandalized last night, causing what could be upwards of thousands of dollars in damage. An anonymous community member has stepped up and started a donation page, and the collected funds will go toward helping repair the businesses that were affected in last night’s riots.

These businesses include (but may not be limited to):

• Brick and Mortar
• Taca Airlines
• 299 Valencia
• Tradesmen
• Property Management Systems
• The Voyager Shop
• Four Barrel
• Pica Pica Maize Kitchen
• Art Zone 461 Gallery
• Locanda
• Bar Tartine
• Tartine Bakery
• Therapy
• Weston Wears
• Mission Police Station
• Farina

UPDATE: A lot of you are wondering whether this is a real donation page or a scam. I contacted the creator of the fund, and here’s what he had to say.

So I just moved into the area a little over a week ago and am very big into people taking care of their community. My Facebook account is facebook.com/ben if that helps put my name and reputation behind it. Also if there’s a way to give more authenticity to this please let me know.

As far as distribution and goal amount, I’m trying to crowd source it a bit by getting businesses to contact us with the extent of the damage but if that doesn’t work i’ll go out there and try and get hard numbers myself.

The dollar amount was simply something to shoot for that felt meaningful enough and doable. I’m open to ideas as to how to fairly distribute it, but rather than spend days debating that I’d rather get people mobilized and inspired to show their support.

I will say that I think other shows of support could be fantastic as well. I don’t know if it’s a day where we go and visit each business together, or send them something… I think something in addition to the money would be great.

UPDATE #2: It has been brought to our attention that there is a small transaction fee when you donate. Ben has generously offered to cover this fee.

[Photo via Mission Local]

A reminder that there’s more to May Day, Occupy, or whatever the hell you want to call it, than all that shit from last night.

Reader Lily tipped us to a new mural-in-the-works in Balmy Alley. From the looks of it, this one will involve monkeys, clowns, and the 48.

Looks like those hammocked ladies have finally caught their bus. It’s always sad to see a piece of art get painted over like that. This one was created by Rocky Villanueva in the summer of 2010, and you can see his process here. Anyone know what (if anything) is going up in its place?

[via The Fog Bender]

On the heels of last week’s bike theft news, an anonymous reader wrote in with these photos of bike thieves caught on camera from recent thefts at 2125 Bryant (click to see them full size). These images are from about a month ago, but these thieves are still on the loose.

Here’s what you should do if you recognize them:

Please call 911 if you see them. If you have any more info you can contact Police report # 120/171/670 Officer J Lopez #373 Officer J Felix #2027 Mission Station 415-558-5400 415-601-4145 cell.

Aunt Bill’s “Stuff” on Valencia is one of my favorite boxes filled with junk in the Mission (and there are a lot of boxes filled with junk in the Mission). On recent visits, their stock included vintage poison bottles, purple fur coats, a R2D2-shaped beer cooler, this Jacksons record, and half a dozen Eames chairs.

They’ve just opened up a second floor of stuff, and with it, a sparkly disco ball to entertain you while you poop.

Reader Joshua wrote in to report the following home invasion bike theft and accompanying photos of the thief (recognize him?):

On March 31 at 5:22 AM Saturday Morning, a man entered our locked front door on the 800 Block of Guerrero Street, went down into the locked garage and relieved it of four bikes, ripping one off the wall.

2012 54″ White Specialized Allez with SRAM Apex
2009 51″ Turquoise Jamis Quest Femme (105 Double, maybe with a BullDog lock still attached to the rack that had been bolted to the wall)
2008 Medium Black Masi Soulville 8 with Front and Rear racks a Velo Orange saddle
1999 56″ Yellow LeMonde Tourmalet

That’s right, one of those bikes was ripped off the wall with the lock still attached. The thing is, this is the fourth garage break-in/bike theft I know of from the past month and vicinity:

• Our pal Jenny reports that her garage (around 29th/Dolores) was broken into with one bike stolen on March 10th,
• This theft from the Glen Park area, via WBTC,
• And my own bike was stolen out of a garage around 30th/San Jose on March 18th, also entering through a locked front door.

When the police showed up at the scene of my bike’s theft, they mentioned that they are aware of a string of similar incidents and this may be a repeat offender.

I suppose I should list some safety tips and advice, or something. Here’s what I’ve learned, anyway:

• Make sure you have a deadbolt on any doors leading to a garage, and make sure to use it.
• If your garage opens with a code, change it frequently.
• Lock your bike to something in your garage. Apparently, this doesn’t necessarily change anything, but it’s another deterrent.
• If you must hold onto your bike, store it in your apartment, instead of a separate storage area.
• If someone really wants your bike, they can have it. Everything we own is essentially on loan from the universe.
• Be okay with losing irreplaceable things, or own replaceable things. The bike that was taken from me was a cheap single speed from an online wholesaler, and though it bruised my bank account, I was back on practically the same wheels within a week.
• If your bike is truly sacred to you, write down its serial number somewhere safe. This is pretty much the only way the police can help you if your bike turns up on Craigslist or elsewhere.
• As Vic would say, sleep with your bikes under your pillows, kids.

Update: Here’s time lapse footage from Joshua’s garage burglary.

I would argue that New Yorkers have no business enforcing etiquette on a dish they have so far failed at. Also, it’s pronounced like “Bur-Eat-Oh”, the last syllable there a closer approximation to the true reaction to a New York burrito.

[via Brendan]