Mission Mission

the kind of pic that could kill dolores

By now everyone has already heard about the untimely arrest of Ganja Treats, tossed a nug or two into the compost bin for the homies, and gotten on with their lives, looking ahead in gleeful anticipation to the next weekend in dry heave cavern.  But what if that’s the end of all of it?

Are they only going to be targeting excessive flouting of law like Cold Beer Cold Water up there?  Or is it going to be like this for everybody:

courtesy of S. Pigeon

No one seemed to worry much about anything imminently endangering their quest for fun in the park when word got out last year about this leaked memo to “improve” Dolores Park, dismissing it as just another one of Gideon Kramer’s crazy schemes.  But the City and NIMBY neighbors were patient, knowing that the approaching winter would sanitize the park for a few peaceful months, and everyone would forget about it for a while.  And they prepared.

Now that the days are starting to get longer and warmer, we’re witnessing the initial attempts to define the new “rules” of the park.  They need to be established before the Indian Summer brings out the unmanageable hoards, too dense and populous to effectively police.  No, stories need to get out early about people getting busted in the park so that future visitors will tread carefully, always looking over their shoulder.

Regarding Cold Beer Cold Water, I really feel like his approach endangers the park the most.  The City can enumerate a litany of reasons for which to act:  he could be selling to minors; he’s taking business away from permitted liquor stores in the vicinity; he’s not . . . paying . . . any . . . TAXES!!!  At any rate, we all need to be a little more conscientious and careful, because all the bad Yelp reviews have finally added up, and things are definitely changing.  Anyone go to that last community meeting?

Park with Neighbors courtesy of Telestar Logistics

Ps.  Someone please warn that cute truffle boy before it’s too late!

Previously:

Leaked Memo Reveals Effort to ‘Improve’ Dolores Park

Drinking Beer in the Park

Tiffany Had a Bad Time at Dolores Park, Yelped About It

Dolores Park Aerial

Public Meeting Re: Dolores Park Closure

Noticed this while walking down Valencia Street and realized that I hadn’t seen what the kids at Artist Television Access have been up to lately.  Time to change that!  The DIY ethos exuded by ATA is pretty much what our neighborhood is based on.

A little research reveals that Robin Johnston is the creator of this piece, and she just happens to be holding an opening this afternoon from 4-7pm.  Titled Keeping Count (similar to my favorite Depeche Mode song!!!), it depicts ALL American casualities from 2003 to 2010.  Each string represents a day, and each knot in each string represents a death.  Deep stuff!

So perform your patriotic HUMANITARIAN civic duty at ATA this evening (or whenever you happen to walk by the window).

BONUS--craziness in other ATA window

Ooh, it’s super sunny outside.  Can this be the kind of weekend for rehab in the park?  Warm and cozy yet dutifully sheltered from the migraine-inducing rays of sun by Oriental umbrellas and Wayfarers while administering a steady hangover-abating electrolyte IV courtesy of Fierce Lime?

JANEBOOK takes the time to reminisce.

This weather report says it’s still too cold.  Damn groundhog.

But I just got this text from my cousin Minoo!

Gonna get coffee and do physics in the park.  Want to join?

You know, I think I do!  Take that Phil!

UPDATE!!! And while I was there, Ganja Treats guy got arrested by an undercover cop!  It’s the end of an era.  Kevmo has more over at Uptown Almanac.

MissionMission reader Anna spotted this promotional material above the 24th/Mission BART station, and since I’m probably not gonna make it over to Fruitvale this weekend to audition for Hoarders at the gargantuan White Elephant Sale, I might have to settle for this.

After all, where else can I find:

A Digdogger completely unadulterated by rogue magic whistle blowing?

That damn Evil Dead book? And a chair to sit on while I read and unleash an Army of Darkness?

A Phanto-landlord overzealously concerned with my key deposit?

Zen weed (traditional Japanese seaweed)?

A talking penis imploring me to "please cum"?

That’s right.  Only in the Mission.  And maybe the Tenderloin too.

Oh snap, it just started!  Better head over!

Building on the success of their last culinary competition, SF Food Wars is hosting another battle for edible dominance.  Chocolate cookies are the weapons of choice this time around, and Jersey Shore provides the inspiration for a Sunday afternoon of fist-bumping cookie clubbing at Mighty on March 21 from 2-5pm.

Tickets go on sale at NOON today and they sell out fast!  Only 200 will be available on a first-come, first-serve basis since SF Food Wars wants everybody to be able to have space to explore all the different cookies without any situations developing.

Ps.  MissionMission will be there too, so stop by and check out our abs, or something.

[photo by stresscake]

Previously: Yeast Affliction

 I get woken up by a monsoon outside my window at 4am, but by the time I’m leaving for work at around 8am, the sun is shining.  So I mutter a quick ”WTF SF?” and diligently forego BART to get on my bicycle.  Nearing Civic Center (Yay for Wednesday Farmer’s Market!) on Market St, I notice the Muni buses are beginning to pile up again, which can pretty much only mean one thing.

this doesn't look good

I approach an officer and ask what’s going on, and he just kind of shakes his head and more or less says (ridiculous paraphrase warning):

Well sir, a cyclist was trying to squeeze between some cars and a bus, and she slipped on those white circular raised bumps (in sweeping arrow formation) that attempt to separate the Muni and car lanes.  So she loses balance on her bike and thuds against the side of a bus, and then to add insult to injury Muni rolls over her bike.

I couldn’t talk to the “victim” because she (deduced from officer’s pronoun usage) was in an ambulance, but she didn’t appear to have any life-threatening injuries, and luckily Muni rolled over her bike instead of her leg or face.  Totally could have been much worse.

the culprit

Fellow cyclists!  We are very aware of how dangerous and slippery Muni rails can be in inclement weather, but there is another enemy in our midst!  Don’t let these unsuspecting lumps ruin your day!

More pics of the damage (and UPDATE) after the jump . . .

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People, please, if you only have one restroom in your apartment and it’s occupied by one of your housemates, do your neighbors and your dignity a  favor and just walk down to the nearest cafe.  Buy a scone or a cheap coffee if necessary, because it’s really better than the alternative, sent to us by an anonymous reader:

Short story:  I heard exceptionally loud “gurgling” noises from my 2nd floor window on Sun. afternoon.  I looked out the window and saw my fat Hispanic upstairs neighbor squatting and shitting onto the side of the building like a dog.  More accurately, she was blowing out a stream of diarrhea that looked like mustard sludge. I was totally blown away and yelled “what are you crazy!!??”  She looked up, made eye contact (I snapped the first pic at that moment), lowered her skirt, turned around, picked up her bag and just walked out like nothing happened!!!!  Even crackheads have more dignity and wipe afterwards!!!

NSFW pics after the jump . . .

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Mission photographer ::novocainated:: recently sat down a bunch of random strangers above the 24th Street BART stop and took their portraits.

Were you one of them?

Also, apparently the guy above was merely off to a party and doesn’t wear a kilt all the time.  Too bad!

Previously: Cops are Good Listeners

So now that Blow Up is officially dead, where will the under-21 crowd flock to next?  Hopefully not to the Attic, because Danny White will be taking over the place as he does every time the last Friday of the month rolls around, and I don’t want to feel like a creep while I’m there.  Furthermore, the pitcher-plant-like nature of the Attic conspires to trap every Mission fly who wanders through the door and down its liquor-lined corridor in that tangle of limbs, sweat, and flannel that is the dance floor, so there’s really no escape.

I captured the above scene last month at the Attic, and I must say that the man knows how to keep a crowd moving and captivated.  His energetic mix echoed everything from Holy Ghost and Hot Chip to the Pet Shop Boys and Yeah Yeah Yeahs.  And look how he gets into it over there on the left!  He’s been at it for a while too, as this Flickr page from 2005 can attest.

Maybe it will even give those Debaser folks a run for their money.

Ps.  No flame war plz!!!

Gruel raised quite a fuss a few weeks ago when he performed some acrobatic yet sloppy tagging on the Sketchers sign at 22nd and Mission.  However, commenter Duh points out that it’s been a sort of tradition to deface that obtrusive jumble of piping, as Revok so poignantly demonstrated back when the place was a Leed’s.

Jocelyn Superstar has the scoop, along with an extensive photostream of graffiti pics from the late 90′s and early ’00s (whatever that decade is supposed to be called).  Hmmm, looks like taggers have pretty much always been part of the neighborhood!

Previously:

Gruel Goes Ninja on the Sketchers Sign

Google Maps Time Travel on 18th and Treat