Mission Mission

I finally saw one of these things rolling down Market Street, trying to blend in along with the rest of the bicycle commuter pack.  It sure took a while for these things to demonstrate any usefulness beyond being utilized for carefully managed guided tours in the Marina, but this guy is doing his best towards entrenching the Segway as the revolution in personal transportation it initially claimed to be.

However, I wouldn’t worry about these things taking over the roadways any time soon.  The lack of exercise expended forced this dude to dress for his morning ride like he was preparing to ascend K2 (between his roles as Kyle Reese from T1 and Corporal Hicks from Aliens, Michael Biehn is easily the best actor on the planet) on one of the warmest mornings of the year so far.

While the Segway accelerated quickly off the stoplight line, that only forced cyclists to repeatedly pass him after every intersection since his top speed left much to be desired.  The Muni buses didn’t take too kindly to him either.  Too fast for sidewalks; too slow for streets.  So where do they belong?

Probably the junkyard, although these Sci-Fi versions look pretty badass!

Previously:

McCafe Pushers on Segways: A Symbol of Economic Progress

Bike Racks: B-Sides and Rarities

Carlos Goes To Fisherman’s Wharf

no, these are not song titles from the new Guided By Voices album

Remember those wacky signs a tenant taped onto her windows alleging all sorts of abuse by her landlords?  Well, the landlord found out about the chatter and decided to offer his version of the situation:

Dear Friends – I was completely unaware of the existence of this blog. Just today someone told me about it, so with a great interest I read your entries. So… my wife and I are co-owners with another person of this building and, yes, we are invoking Ellis Act,  but only out of  sheer desperation – for the past a year-and-half we have lived through hell.

The woman who rents the downstairs unit (from our co-owner) and entertains the neighborhood with her prolific signage is an extremely aggressive and displays all the symptoms of delusional paranoia. Almost every morning we wake up to her banging on the walls (4-5 am), heavy stomping on the floors, yelling to us from the backyard, playing  blaringly loud music, etc. We find our front door handle smeared with honey, grease or peanut butter on a daily basis, not to mention the human feces on our door step. She makes false accusations that we destroy her plants, read her mail, throw stones at her cat and plenty of other mischief.

Despite the fact that we put lots of money and effort into creating a beautiful backyard, we  have stopped  even going outside into our backyard as she verbally assaults us, we can’t have any social life at our home  and we are subject to abusive accusations thrown at us when we take out trash, or simply leave home (she yells at us from her window). She fabricated a story of us being “professional evictors” who just want to get her out, so we can convert to condos. Her actions became so unbearable that back in December we moved from own place and rented a place for two months, just so we could get some rest from that daily abuse.

Ellis Act was the last resort. When we concluded that we can’t live under the same roof with this psychotic individual, we offered her a substantial amount of money, free rent for half a year and the house to herself (we would’ve stayed away until she moved). She turned that offer down. Ellis Act took off 10-15% off the value of the property right off the bat. We’ll never be able to convert to condominiums, but this is the worthy price for having a home where we don’t feel threatened all the time.

So, as you see a new crop of signs and accusations popping up in her window (almost daily occurrence) just think about what you might not see – a daily ordeal of people who live in the same house.

Wow, she sounds like the tenant from hell!  Now I kind of feel bad for the property owner.  Maybe this is the reason why those rental applications have gotten so tome-like and tedious to fill out, and why many landlords now routinely employ background checks along with credit reports and references. 

Soooo, anybody else got any terrible neighbor stories?

[Photo by Brian H]

Previously:

“Vocal” Neighbors Getting Ellis Acted

Keep BMW Out of the Mission

Mission Resident Shits on Her Own Apartment Building (NSFW)

The Makeout Room has become the go-to location for folks who want a little bit of personal sharing with their whiskey, and tonight will be no different as it hosts the latest incarnation of Muni Diaries Live.  The fun starts at 7:30 TONIGHT and goes until 9:30pm, and it’s free!  Check out this line up:

Comedian Will Franken
Fun(ny) guy Johnny FunCheap
BART operator Kelly Beardsley
Vero Majano of Mission Media Archives
The delightful music of McPuzo and Trotsky
And last but not least, the Cock-Ts will return to … get us all in the mood.

I’m also excited by the prospect of Silvi from the Poetry Store hammering away on a good old-fashioned typewriter in the corner, chronicling the moments of the evening with a dash of poetic whimsy.

Come on out and prove that Muni riders can do a lot more than just complain about crazy delays caused by the horrific accident yesterday at Castro station that resulted in a person on the tracks being struck and killed by a Muni train, which tragically occured just one day after another unfortunate man died after being run over and then pinned underneath a bus.

[Photo by Rumnose via Muni Diaries]

I was feeling a little nostalgic, so I decided to make one last shopping trip to Delano’s for old time’s sake.  It was fairly disarming to witness firsthand the depleted shelves and bins throughout the store.  A few other shoppers milled about, almost seeming more interested in surveying the scene than picking out groceries. 

A somber air permeated the place, and not even the sounds of ABBA emanating from the tinny overhead speakers could shake out the funk.

Some of the more depressing shelves (plus an UPLIFTING STORY and an UPDATE!!!), after the jump:

  (more…)

How can hackers exploit this amalgamation of fashion and technology?  Only S. Pigeon knows . . .

Previously:

Hack the Planet!  Starting With That Sign Outside of Blue Plate

When we’ve got this guy ready to take its place?  Nice enclosure!

Previously:

Delano’s IGA on the Ropes?

My buddy Eric found the zine depicted by The Zeit Guide (hrmph, I like my spelling better) on top of a mailbox near his place.  Looks like they’re just getting started, but the zine they uploaded already contains some gems, such as:

HOW TO ORDER A MEAL:

Fast.  And loud.

If you don’t know what he just said, don’t ask him to repeat, just shout yes.  The more trouble for him, the worse the look, and the more questionable the preparation of food.

Don’t hover.  They’ll take longer and yell at you.

More tips for survival can be found here.  Let’s hope that these folks can keep it up!

Previously:

Live Above Zeitgeist!

SFGATE:  Mission Bartenders Are a Bunch of Meanies

A Zeitgeist Sans Smoke

Virginia the Undead Tamale Lady

Could the vultures soon be circling the dessicated carcass of the Mission’s most convenient late-night supermarket?  Inquisitive reader Ann C. expresses her concern:

I was wondering if you guys know anything about the DeLano’s on 23rd and South Van Ness supposedly closing.  I noticed they were missing produce on Monday, and I asked one of the employees if they were remodeling.  He said they were actually supposed to CLOSE THE STORE that day, but it got postponed. 

I want that DeLano’s to stay open!!! It’s convenient and it’s not a Whole Foods.  I even like that it’s not a Safeway because it’s not crowded ever, and the employees that work there are really nice.  Can you guys look into this or something?   One of the checkers told me to contact DeLano’s and try to tell them to keep it open (415-381-6700). 

Has anyone else heard anything about this development?

It wouldn’t be completely unexpected, since supermarkets not named Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s have been having a notoriously rough go of it lately, as evidenced by the recent closure of the Nob Hill Cala Foods, which was replaced by (what else?) condos.  And let’s not forget that this particular South Van Ness location used to be a Cala Foods itself once before (and a Siris long before that, but that’s a whole other story for another time):

It’s difficult to keep up with the cheap produce prices at the myriad corner markets around the neighborhood.  Casa Lucas and the like are tough to beat with that 4 for a dollar avocado special.  I think Duc Loi is still going strong, but they cover a completely different niche.  And Ann herself does admit that the place is never even crowded.

Nonetheless, I would hate to see this place go, especially because the people that work there are soooo nice, and it’s great to have a place to turn when your hectic lifestyle precludes you from going grocery shopping until 1am.

BUMMERZ UPDATE!!!  Commenter Paul Valdez says:

Yes, it is true. Checker, Michelle, told me last weekend that they will close in one week. Too bad. Yes, they were all nice and the Delano family could’ve given that location some ‘attention’…

[Photos by Romleys, who seems to have somewhat of a penchant for supermarket history]

This is what our great protector sees as it endlessly scans the horizon for threats to our fair City.  Shouldn’t it be facing the Pacific Coast, though?  Perhaps Chief Gascon has succeeded in enlisting Sutro to help fight crime in the city.

Previously:

Sutro Comes ALIVE

Sutro Tower Lightning Strike

Those crazy neighbors are at it again!  This time, it appears as though they’ve run afoul of their landlord one time too many, and the property owner has responded by just completely giving up and Ellis-ing the whole place to cut his losses.  Or he/she might just want to build condos all over the place, since that happens to be all the rage these days.

Pro-tip:  To be “Ellis-ed” is to have the property owner invoke the Ellis Act, which allows them to evict all residents and “go out of business.”  It is often employed by owners as a loophole to facilitate converting units into condo$.

If you ever feel that you are being unfairly evicted from your apartment, a fantastic community resource right here in the Mission that can help you is the San Francisco Tenants Union, located right near 21st and Capp in a classy old house.  They take drop-ins too, so don’t hesitate to utilize their services if you ever have any important renter questions.  They’ve definitely helped me out in the past!

[Photos by reader Brian H]

Previously:

Keep BMW Out of the Mission