Mission Mission

Somebody please find a new home for this guy.  He simply does not understand why everyone thinks he is the most dangerous animal in Africa.  Can collectors beware!

What’s the most dangerous animal in the Mission?  Pigeons?

[Photo by Linda L.]

Previously:

Sofa Free; Making Love Seats; Trash Heap

Colorful Massacre at Revolution Cafe

That is, if one particular NIMBY neighbor has his or her way.  The Attic has endured as one of the best places in the Mission to get a cheap drink and sweat the night away while dancing to frenetic DJs who know their shit.  It’s also one of the best places to get so hammered that you black out and wake up the next morning in a room full of exquisite hats, but that’s a story for another time.

Unfortunately, one neighbor is so fed up with the hot tunes that he is resorting to a lawsuit in order to squelch all the fun.  He is suing the Attic for personal damages because he can’t sleep at night, focusing on the technicality that the bar is not allowed to play any music since it doesn’t have a cabaret license.   Without a cabaret license, the Attic is on the hook for a $1000 fine should the cops deign to show up for a noise complaint. 

Since it doesn’t appear that an amicable solution can be reached without the NIMBY in question moving out of the Mission to quieter digs (ask Ike’s about that one), it seems that only a legal battle will ultimately determine the fate of DJs at the Attic.

So, should you get the opportunity, contribute to the Attic legal defense fund by stopping by to swig some Racer 5.

[Photo by flatsol]

Previously:

Indie Slash at the ATTIC tonight!!!

The Attic and Clooney’s: San Francisco’s Best Dives

Rock ‘n’ Roll Revolution Early Evening Rooftop Concert at 24th and Mission

While it might not have all the chuptzah of the new Bay Citizen community news experiment, the masters of Mediterranean dining at Old Jerusalem nonetheless have a website that refuses to be left out of the discussion.  Not content to merely the hold the title for Best Falafel in the Mission (according to vegansaurus!), they also appear to pursuing the award for Spiffiest-Looking Restaurant Website.

Not only does it play scientific sounding beeps and boops whenever you mouse-over various icons, but a video demonstration by a mildly attractive virtual tour guide instantly materializes to walk you through the various features, ensuring you don’t get caught on the wrong side of the checkpoints.  Of course, the discerning veiewer sees through all this pomp and circumstance to the generic interface overlaid with OJ graphics, but you still have them an A for effort.

Does anyone have any other favorite Mission restaurants or local businesses with hilariously incongruent websites?

[Link, thanks Travis!]

Previously:

Hands Down the Best Falafel in the Mission

Something is Going on in Zaytoon

Ok, I see what they’re trying to do here, and the intention is quite honorable.  Devoting front page space to a celebration of educational achievement is definitely commendable.

However, is it really necessary to force the poor person who hands out these free papers to wear a graduate cap and gown???  I’ll go out on a limb and assume that one of the primary reasons why this person has a crappy job like this is that they did not have the same advantages while growing up as the professionals who dismissively ignore their hand-off at the top of the BART escalator every morning. 

To rub it in by sticking them in a cap and gown when in all likelihood they never even had the opportunity to graduate, forcing them to endure the irony while being scornfully rebuffed by every young professional who ascends the stairs?

SF Examiner, you’re better than that.

Previously:

Mission Day Laborers Rock

At $4 a pack, they’re competitive with LEE’S up the street, but they taste so delicious!  The shrimp is lightly seasoned to subtly augment the flavor while the lettuce, noodles, and rice paper impress with their freshness.  I only tried a package with the peanut sauce (which was fantastic, BTW), so no verdict yet on the delectableness of the fish sauce.

When is someone in the Mission going to get their act together and open a banh mi shop?

Previously:

Inside the Banh Mi Cart Test Kitchen

Banh Mi by Mai

Snacking on Cushman Banh Mi

Look at that pigeon!  It’s learned to eat at the dinner table like a civilized person!  Over here they just eat from the gutter, or resort to (gasp!) cannibalism.

What other good manners can our pigeon population learn from their East Coast brethren?

[Sexy P. has the scoop]

Previously:

Bar Feeding Pigeons

Mission Street Food

Goose-Stepping Pigeons

Pigeon Tragedy

The Final Taboo Broken at Mission and Van Ness

Pigeons Ate a Horse Down to the Bone on 24th

Pigeons Discover Street Food

On a nondescript Sunday at the 500 Club, one particular karaoke crooner’s artful rendition of a George Michael song managed to attract the attention of members of both sexes, so much so that they each posted competing Missed Connections vying for his affection.

He must be doing something right!  Team Vag fired the first salvo:

500 Club karaoke – boy in the striped shirt – w4m (mission district)

i liked the way you sang george michael.

i was with my roommate and we split really fast when we realized we were running late to a show.

wish i would have talked to you.

i was the one in the white dress.

p.s. i’ve never posted here before. yikes.

Sensing that the opportunity was slipping way, Team Penis finally got on the board later that night:

Singing George Michael at 500 club on Sunday – m4m – 25 (mission district)

You were singing George Michael at 500 club on Sunday. I’m shy and wearing a green sweater — which is why I didn’t say hi. Email me if you want to grab a drink at 500 club sometime.

No need to fight!  I’m sure there’s plenty of him to go around.  And I wouldn’t have said hi either if I was wearing a green sweater.  The point is that I think it’s safe to say that striped shirts are back (though neither poster specifies vertical or horizontal–this is important, people!).

Stay tuned for more hyper-hyper-hyper-local news!

[Photo (probably not of boy in question) by Scott Annechino, karaoke photographer extraordinaire]

Apologies for the early morning bluster.  I must still be high off the dopamine rush from last week’s Bike to Work Day.  But it’s not all empty bravado!  Take a second to look around and you’ll surely notice!

For instance, this driver has apparently learned from her earlier bike-lane-obstructing transgressions and is now double-parking in the rightmost vehicle lane instead of the bike lane.  I gave her a thumbs up and some verbal affirmation, and she smiled back.  She really seems like a polite (although mildly oblivious) lady.  Glad to see she’s figured things out!

And what do we have here?  JUSTICE!!!

This is the first time I’ve seen private vehicles getting ticketed for failing to make a right turn onto 10th Street from Market.  Sorry to rub it in, drivers, but is it really so hard to read those signs? 

Before you know it, the jerk mentality behind Shut Your Fucking Mouth Bitch Or I’ll Knock You Off Your Bike will be a distant memory.  Or will it?  Will cyclists and cars always hate each other?

Previously:

Freshly Painted Green Bike Lanes on Market Apparently Not Quite Enough

Segway to Work Day

Shut Your Fucking Mouth Bitch Or I’ll Knock You Off Your Bike

High school flashbacks available at 20th and Valencia.

Previously:

Spurned Scenester Sullies Sightly Street Art

Sightly Street Art Restored in a Flash! 

“And like that, poof, he’s gone.”  I am inclined to think that Otter was not in fact behind it this time.  It’s a good thing that everybody and their brother already photographed this to death, because now it’s really dead.  Alas, no one had the foresight to put up a sign in Cantonese warning that this art is “very hard to get it.”

Anyone know the story behind this Banksy whitewashing?  Any of the other Bansky pieces throughout the city suffer a similar fate?

UPDATE!!!  An anonymous commenter seems to have the scoop:

The building owner lives in Texas and received a notice from the city. Not knowing the significance of the piece, or what it was, he had it painted over. The owners of The Curiosity Shoppe live in the building and were obviously unable to convince him to keep it.

Yikes!  However, this is the kind of thing that happens when you have an out of state absentee property owner who doesn’t seem to know or care about the culture of the area in which his property resides.

Also, I was able to get a free Chinese language lesson out of this too.  Apparently, Cantonese and Mandarin refer only to spoken language, whereas written language is always known vaguely as Chinese.  So, even though most of the residents of Chinatown happen to be Cantonese speakers, that sign was nonetheless written in Chinese.  Case closed! 

Previously:

San Francisco Has Banksy Fever!

Banksy Fever Continues!

Enough Banksy for Chu?