Mission Mission

We’ve been hipped to a new blog making the rounds featuring an exhaustive collection of burritos from around Mission (and elsewhere), each standing vertically with the firm posture befitting its pedigree as a MISSION BURRITO.

From the looks of it, this guy has eaten a lot of burritos.  Now, I’m no slouch myself (as Vic can attest having witnessed me eating three super burritos in a single day), but the thought of taking this dude on in a burritopacolypse death match makes me just a little queasy.

All hail the Burrito Whisperer (although he didn’t seem to get the memo about how the dudes at Jarritos are a bunch of jerks).

[Photo by The Byrd]

Previously:

Bobby Flay Can Eat A Big Fat Burrito

The World’s Best at La Taqueria

People seem to have a lot to say about the new Levi’s Workshop that recently opened on Valencia between 16th and 17th Street in the future location of a Charles Phan restaurant.  Some residents find it a little ironic:

You find it odd that the hood went nuts when AA tried to move in but they had very little issue with Levi’s opening a pop-up which is a company 5000 times the size?
Have you seen all the vandalism all over the front of the Levi’s store?
They hit the store two nights in a row and completely destroyed the front of the shop, took 15 people 2 days to clean it up and still can’t get parts off.

The graffiti in question may or may not be the work of some anarchist chick that Kevmo ran into.  Whatever the case, the incident seems to have prompted the hiring of a full-time private security guard to patrol the block in an attempt to stem the vandalism, as MM reader Elle points out:

guess what? starting yesterday evening and throughout the entire summer, there is a security guard on duty 24-7 on the block of Valencia between 16th and 17th.  this is private ‘police’ monitoring your activity in public space. they don’t stop people from being robbed or killed, they are just there to watch the stuff.

For their part, Levi’s says the workshop is good for the neighborhood:

Each workshop is designed to focus on a specific craft including printmaking and photography, and will feature forums where local pioneers in design, sports, technology, sustainability, and other interests can engage and collaborate

So, what do you guys think about it?

[Photo courtesy of Uptown Almanac]

Previously:

American Apparel Comes to the Mission

Details on the American Apparel Hearing (NSFW)

American Apparel Says Peace

Woah, guys.  Careful out there!  Word is out this morning that shortly after midnight earlier today a cyclist was riding his bike near the Broadway and Embarcadero intersection when he was confronted by three men whom, as Officer Albie Esparza explains, proceeded to “punch and stab him multiple times.”

Particularly worrisome is the fact that neither his belongings nor his bicycle were stolen, leading some to believe that he was targeted by these ne’er-do-wells solely due to the fact that he was riding a bicycle.  Taken in conjunction with the scumbag who recently mowed down 4 cyclists in psychotic rage, hopefully we aren’t seeing the beginning of some new violent anti-cyclist movement brewing.

SF Appeal has the scoop.

[Photo by jorsan75]

Previously:

Creep In An SUV Targeted 4 Cyclists Last Night

What??? What do you expect? A bald spot?

Why are you not at Dolores Park right now? What, are you watching Spain Paraguay? Fair enough, but as soon as that’s over try to get in on this drinking game in progress. Definitely look for overdressed Goth chick to come back with a vengeance!

[Photo by Annette]

Previously:

Dolores Park Bingo Card Includes Charming Illustrations of Public Urination and Ganja Treats

The construction crews have finished re-paving the street and have commenced painting the new boundaries for vehicles, bicycles, and pedestrians.  At first glance, it might look a lot like the old Valencia.  However, the discerning viewer can appreciate the myriad improvements here. 

First of all, that wide, unnecessary, center-dividing “parking lot” has been eliminated in favor a simple, sensible yellow line that widens only at intersections to allow for left turns.  Sorry bros, no more parking in the center divider just so you can pop into Puerto Alegre for a quick marg.  Gonna have to stick with the party bus from now on.

As a result, this creates significantly more space for vehicles in the middle of the road, which consequently allows the bicycle lanes to not only be wider but also further away from the rogue suddenly-swinging-open parked car doors that have a nasty habit of clotheslining unsuspecting cyclists. 

Vehicles still have enough space to park (as before), while pedestrians also manage to come out ahead since they get a few extra feet of sidewalk space.  So if I see you and 4 of your friends all walking towards me on the sidewalk in a horizontal line so you can all pleasantly chat together, I’ll still think you’re an asshole, but at least I’ll be able to get by you.

So, what’s the final equation, Prof? 

[Valencia] – [center divider] = [more fucking space for everybody]

Of course, I’m all for the “greening” of San Francisco, but I think the city planners might have taken things a little too far in this case . . .

Previously:

Coming Soon: Valencia Streetscape Improvements

Valencia Doing Work

Getting A Feel For The New Valencia

Someone brought this sheep (singular) to Dolores Park. It was only 2 months old, so I’m pretty sure he’s going to have his hands full in a year or so when this thing is full grown, knocking down doors and butting his head into parked cars all over the place.

He was really soft, for the record.

Previously:

Cute Baby Animal in Dolores Park

Sheep in the Park

Some of you may have noticed that the regular “Elbo Room” sign had recently been replaced with another older-looking one that reads “Amelia’s.”  Now, it’s back to the “Elbo Room” again.  So, what’s going on here?

Well, after talking to some key Elbo staff, it turns out that around 20 years ago the Elbo Room used to be a rocking dyke bar named Amelia’s that allegedly would have put the Lex to shame.  Every year when Pride rolls around, they dig the old sign out of storage and install it in front as an homage to the bar’s colorful history.  Then, when Pride weekend ends and all the brunches are over, bloody marys flowing in the gutter, they lock it up again and go back to the regular ol’ Elbo Room.  So there you go!

History lesson with Professor Sarkarati over!

Back to Normal

[Normal Elbo Photo by SF Bar Experiment]

Chris Collin got in touch with us again to share another poignant story about living in the Mission.  It’s just as gripping (and heartbreaking) as his last tale of Randy the wanderer, but this time focuses on some complicated gentrification issues:

We were thoroughly friendly—even jokey and playful at first—but the guys just didn’t like us. Maybe we were interlopers on a block they’d dominated for years. Maybe our earnestness was annoying: our sputtering veggie oil car next to their monster V8s, our cheerful cat Biggie gazing innocently at their snarling dogs. Whatever it was, they unwelcomed us with glares and mutterings that only grew bolder over time. Sometimes we’d come home to a broken fence or a bottle smashed in our pathway, the stares from the stoop daring us to comment. Increasingly we didn’t. They had gangbanger friends, spoke intimately of violence. And, in my head, I turned muscle-bound and ridiculous, raining righteousness down upon every insult.

Have at it!

Previously:

Randy: Productive and Uptight Vs. Marginal and Odd

Crazy Mission Neighbor

After countless delays and a near two year gestation period, Middle Eastern sandwich shop Zaytoon is finally ready to meet the neighborhood.  We happened to walk by the spot on Valencia between 22nd and 23rd tonight as they were celebrating their grand opening (that’s one of the two Palestinian owners sitting there on the left) and managed to sample a bit of their falafel.

The texture was perfect, with a slightly crispy outer shell coating a soft yet firm center.  Both the falafels and the tahini are made in-house every day, and are featured on a menu along with lamb and chicken shawarma, available on either pita or lavash for $7-8.  Give it a try yourself to see how it compares to Truly Med and Old Jerusalem!

Previously:

Soon, Zaytoon?

Something is Going on in Zaytoon