Mission Mission

While visiting the fair city of NYC, MM reader Zarah spotted an article in the Metro paper that purports to show one “how to do San Fran like a local.”  What are some of the things she learned?

San Francisco is one of the coolest places on earth–period.

The Mission District is the place for lunch, in particular, Taqueria Cancun & Ti Couz–altho, they also recommend the Marina for dinner, so meh.

I should spend the afternoon in “Delores Park” to watch the “enjoyable sideshow of hip (or weird) locals.”

Read on.

Does it land on a hipster?

Burrito Justice has the answer.

Hanging on by belt loops

Three friends are riding three bikes but then one of the bikes gets a flat and no one thought to bring along a pump.  What do they do next?

Anyone have a better idea?

Quite possibly the greatest incidental license plate ever, spotted in the SOMA on a Saturday night, and hopefully descriptive of exactly what was happening at the moment inside of that particular Jeep Grand Cherokee.

Kinda sounds like the premise of the climax scene (starting at 3:00) of the second-greatest music video ever, the BANNED VERSION of “Relax” by Frankie Goes to Hollywood, available for your viewing pleasure below:

Some may view this as a thinly veiled passive aggressive attempt to keep drunk hipsters out of the park during one of the hottest Saturdays of the year, but I don’t quite see it that way.

Rather, the City was trying to throw the neighborhood a sprinkler party, but sadly no one seemed to want to participate.

Que lastima?

Previously:

Dolores Park Community Meeting Recap

Glen Canyon Park Just Might Be the New Dolores Park

Police seemed perplexed as to how this Mercedes actually ended up on its side here at an auto garage on the corner of Mission and Ocean, but any Grand Theft Auto veteran will tell you that it happens all the time.

A quick glance around the scene revealed some clues.  The bent parking meter and pole hinted at some sort of badly-miscalculated shortcut attempt, which, judging from the scattered debris, must have been undertaken at considerable velocity.

Still, not quite something you see everyday.

I think we found it.  Any other contenders?

Previously:

Cat and a Skateboard

Brings New Meaning to the Word ‘Heelflip’

SFPD Officer Threatens to Break a Skateboarder’s Arm, Allegedly Kicks Him Into Cruiser

Dave Chappelle caught me slyly trying to take a picture of him while we were each eating dinner at Pakwan.  He came over to the table and asked to see it.  Unimpressed by my photographic aptitude, he then asked me to delete it.

As I complied with his request and stammered an apology, a single grain of rice flew from my mouth and landed on the shoulder of his black sweater.  I wasn’t sure if he saw it or not, but I couldn’t take the risk, so I reached up and attempted to brush it off.  Naturally, that darn stubborn kernel wasn’t going anywhere.

Chappelle noticed and said, “I don’t even mind that you just spit a piece of rice on me.  Happens all the time.”  He pointed out that I didn’t really need to delete the photos since he was in a public space after all, but it was cool I did and that I should come outside for a real picture after he finished his cigarette.

When I walked out, I didn’t see him anywhere and figured I’d been duped by a master.  But then Mr. Chappelle emerged from a shiny black Escalade and said, “I wasn’t gonna flake on you.”  As my buddy snapped a photo of us, the beleaguered superstar muttered, “People are terrible.  There, I said it.”

Sorry for ruining your dinner Dave!  We all love you here in the Mission!  Please come back soon!

[Chappelle on 16th by jacobchills]

Upon finding out that someone has parked their driveway, most San Francisco residents will immediately simply call SFDPT and wash their hands of the matter, wondering while they wait for the tow truck how anyone could possibly have the audacity to park there despite clearly labeled warning signs.

However, some neighbors are a little more understanding, or perhaps just happen to be nice people:

It’s nice to see neighbors be rad once in a while.

Previously:

Cuddly “Stay the Hell Out of My Driveway” Sign

“There Are No Savesies”

You remember zines, right?  They were the blogs before there were blogs.  If Allan was born 10 years earlier, Mission Mission might have been a zine!  I think we can all agree that zines are awesome.  After all, if I hadn’t been reading Cometbus back in high school, I probably would have chosen Cal Tech over Berkeley, and the world would now be in the grip of the tyrant who managed to abscond the Lambda Laser from my quantum physics lab.  So, luckily, you don’t have to worry about that.

Anyway, SF Zinefest is a rad event this weekend in the Hall of Flowers at GG Park where zine authors congregate so anyone can check out all their recent work.  In addition to the totally worthwhile experience of checking it out yourself, you can also support the scene by dancing to 90′s music at the Knockout, as DEBASER is hosting a benefit this Saturday night for the SF Zinefest.  So although you can get in free before 11pm by simply wearing a flannel, DON’T!!!  Wear a hoodie or something instead and help support the Zinefest!

Previously:

KevMo Starts a Flame War with DEBASER