Mission Mission

Bold and brazen, she wasn’t fazed in the slightest by my photographic documentation of her criminal act.

Should I have stopped her?

UPDATE: Several of you have requested that I remove “Tubby” from the title, so in the interest of preventing a civil war on the server, I have acquiesced.  I’m not saying I agree with the morality police, and I’m probably still a jerk for posting it in the first place.  These facts remain despite the update.  I must say though that I don’t find it “hateful” (a very strong word) to call someone (who is spraying one of the ugliest tags I’ve ever seen–on my street no less)  “tubby” in a photograph where she can’t be identified (back to the camera).

Please continue to discuss in the comments; the ability of our readers to engage in rational discourse is my favorite part of this blog.

At first we thought the heavy smoke emanating from the roof was just exhaust from Limon’s kitchen, but their staff informed us that was not the case, so they called 911.  Ten firetrucks later, it was determined that the fixies are safe and sound.  Crisis averted!

Prop L or not.

Nonetheless , these were the only ones I saw on Haight this afternoon.  One managed to get his hands on a burrito by the time I walked by again.

This is serious!  Not since the Mr. Pickles saga has a particle injustice gone unchecked for so long!  Put on your Sherlock hats and let’s Scotland Yard this pup!

*Reward is a sixer of Simple Times and an Italian Wedding sandwich.

Well, at least one of his tattoos is.  Put on your Where’s Waldo specs and see if your eagle eyes are up to the task.  Also, let’s put our yarmulkes together and think of a few appropriate Hanukkah gifts for the penultimate-worst NBA scorer.

[Photo of Tuesday's Chron Sporting Green Cover]

Inner-Waldo failing you?  The Answer, after the jump . . .

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Our pals over at Fancy French Cologne are part of a one-night fashion extravaganza tonight over at The Common on Mission and 7th, featuring all sort of vintage, contemporary, and local handmade goods.  There will be all kinds of ridiculous sales and–the best part–an open bar!

I don’t know about you, but shopping while pleasantly buzzed has resulted in some of my greatest fashion triumphs ever, and I heartily endorse trying it out yourself.  Plus, it’s just a hop and a skip from there over to the shitshow that will be the Oh Sees at the Eagle.

$20 gets you in the door (and sufficiently wasted) from 6:30-10pm tonight!

Whoever is in charge of the artistic direction at Taqueria Vallarta needs to be poached immediately by one of those hotshot tech companies like Google or Twitter.  The guy (or gal) has repeatedly proven to be on the cusp of genius, as evinced by “batshit insane” 49ers tribute mural, as well as the various exterior drawings and aesthetically pleasing color scheme.

Now he’s outdone himself again with another game-changer:  this amazing lit-up pop-out sign that can be seen from blocks away by anyone walking on 24th St.  Depicting a serene ocean scene that reminds you of vacation, complete with lazy seagulls, it also manages to extol the virtues that make this one of the most popular taquerias in the neighborhood.

For instance, top billing goes to the Tacos al Vapor, which are the closest thing you’ll find to the tacos served in Tijuana.  Likewise, a keen sense of knowing your audience is demonstrated by the deft placement of (what appears to be) “Vegan Burritos,” always a popular choice in the Mission.  My only regret is that they don’t mention the champurrado (which makes a delicious treat on a cold night, of which you can be sure we’ll soon have plenty).

I defy you to think of a more catastrophic location!  Before  you assume that I’m being a total wussy, why don’t you try to type with this messy business?  Don’t be surprised by a dearth of Y’s, N’s, and H’s in my posts for the next week or so.

*For all you astronomers out there, the planets in question are Venus and Uranus, obviously.

We’ve already been on top of a fire truck and on top of Muni.  Who cares if it’s a few weeks later; this city just can’t get enough of their first World Series victory!  These guys even went so far as to snag some Public Works vests so no one would suspect them.

All jokes aside, this looks like a pretty entertaining job.  You get to ride all over the neighborhood during beautiful days* and have hipsters on fixies take photos of you.  Someone has to make sure all those Muni lines are functioning properly, lest all hell break loose.  They really get around, too!  See, here they are stopping for some Arinell on Valencia:

*I would be seriously surprised if they had to do this in the rain.

Really?  You’re raising the tuition again?  You guys remember what happened last time, right?  Granted, this is an 8% tuition hike rather than last year’s odious 32% increase, but that still makes student fees double what they were six years ago.  And on top of that, you’re increasing the number of “senior officials” making over $200k?!??

Oh, I know.  You’ve got to pay that much in order to remain competitive enough to attract the top administrative talent.  Sure, the same “talent” whose selfish decisions are gradually eroding one of the wonders of the modern world, the University of California system, in which any Californian could get a top-flight education no matter what their economic background?  Yeah, sure, they’ve got a proven track record.  OF FUCKING UP.

This has been your morning dose of BERKELEY RAGE.  Please enjoy the rest of your day.