Mission Mission

Concerned reader Jeremiah M. noticed the suspicious contents of this black Nissan pickup truck parked on Valencia at 21st and decided to alert the authorities:

Notice hacksaw, broken u-lock, many bicycle wheels including several sawed apart bicycle wheels.

What do you think, readers?  Is there a logical, non-criminal explanation for having all of this stuff or were we just treated to a behind the scenes peek into a bicycle thief’s mobile base of operations?  Those are quite a lot of sheared spokes in that blue bin.  Also, are those wheels locked down or just sitting there?  Either way, this doesn’t look good!

This guy can definitely be on my team.  Don’t snicker, or he’ll whack you with his leveling stick.

“Ok, there’s only enough oxygen in there for a few hours, so try not to breathe too much.  We’ve got to make this last the whole weekend.”

If you walked down Valencia at all during the beautifully sunny weekend that we all just had the pleasure of enjoying, you must have noticed these poor souls trapped inside the window of Artist Television Access, the rad non-profit media access company that always seems to be up to some neat stuff when they’re not committing crimes against humanity.  Be sure to check them out if you’ve ever got some free time and a creative streak, or if you just want to see what’s new in the artistic community.  Besides indie film festivals, art installations, and aesthetic workshops, it also makes for the perfect spot to throw a Berlin Ping Pong Disco Party:

Photo by Malcolm M.

UPDATE!!! They are having a FUNraiser this weekend!

This bold flyer, spotted at local fave the Attic, proudly proclaims having the longest happy hour in the city.  Of course, this is a hotly debated topic, as several other bars around the city also make a similar boast.  For instance, the Elbo Room also claims that their happy hour, from 5-9pm everyday, is the longest in the city.

Depending on how we want to look at this, both sides are technically correct.  The Elbo Room offers a more versatile longest happy hour, whereas the Attic’s weekend and Monday specials can not be denied.  Me?  I’d be happy just to know the longest and cheapest happy hours in the Mission.  Where do you go to forget the pain of your job (or just whenever the bar has drinks that you can actually afford)?

Previously:

NIMBY says NO MORE DJs at the Attic

It was only a matter of time before this sort of mashup monstrosity was conceived.  We already have the Chinito (R.I.P.) and the Korrito, so logic clearly dictates a Japanese version as well (Vietnam gets a pass due to its sandwich prowess).

Although it may look puny in the photo above, the Sushirrito weighs in at well over a pound and comes packed with salmon, tuna, shrimp, and all sorts of ingredients you might expect plus some chipotle alchemy to keep things interesting.

The only downside is its location at 59 New Montgomery by Market.  Way downtown, yet well within bike range I suppose.  Anyway, the place just opened, so if you happen to be down there, it may be worth checking out.

More about it on Thrillist here.

(Thanks Anthony!)

Pleated-Jeans has the right idea!

(Via Meredith)

While perhaps not as elegant a solution as the Nike Beer Cozy, the Beerdana nonetheless keeps your your hand from getting cold and your beer (somewhat) insulated.  Plus, it’s stylishly versatile as well, as you could go with the classic Bloods/Crips version, some crazy hippy tie-dye nonsense, or this anarcho-punk tribute to just-deceased longtime Mission resident and legendary rabble-rouser John Ross.

Most importantly, the Beerdana is guaranteed to turn any situation into an instant dance party.

While it remains the undeniable right for everyone on this beautiful planet to enjoy continuous access to tacos, wouldn’t you feel a bit reluctant to accept the authenticity of one being handed to you by someone named Jimboy?  I mean, seriously, Jimboy’s Tacos?  I guess if you live in Nevada City (pictured), you can’t be too choosy.

Of course, Allan says they really hit the spot, and a close inspection of their menu shows that in addition to being around for over 50 years, they serve TACO BURGERS (wha???) along with the classic super burritos and chile rellenos and stuff.  Plus, they definitely have a sense of humor, so next time I pop up here for some cabin fever fun, I’ll have to ignore the unfortunate name and give them a shot!

Previously:

Mission Burritos Hit Canada

Burrito Map

It appears that Banksy heard about the challenge we offered him last month and decided to respond!

Or this is the work of some sort of copy-cat artist.  Check it out under the bridge at Dolores Park and decide for yourself!

(Thanks Bryan!)

I have no idea whether the “T” was omitted accidentally or we have a very clever painter on our hands, but I am sure as heck NOT going to touch that wall.  For all we know, there could be some elaborate transduction mechanism that taps directly into your nocireceptors, or perhaps some dude pops out and beats you with a bucket of water.

Anyone brave enough to find out?  Watch your self.

(Thanks Tom!)