Mission Mission

How else to explain this targeted arboreal sabotage of the bike lane?  Notice how the street is clear everywhere except where you are supposed to ride your bicycle.  All this kumbaya shit about saving the Earth together be damned–the trees have just been fucking with us this whole time!

Let’s go deforest some Amazon, Critical Mass.

Thanks to the astute photography of Nick Fisher, we’ve finally got a look at the fellow who inhabits that questionably-roadworthy, tape-covered mess of a vehicle that inhabits parking spots along Duboce underneath the freeway.  The weather’s been so nice outside lately that even this dude had to come out of his plastic-layered shell.

While you’re navigating the minor inconveniences of your fast-paced lifestyle, it’s often easy to forget how easy it is for some personal hardship or illness to come along and wreck everything.  Then, before you know it, people start looking away when they see you on the street and you end up living in this.  Just take a moment to be thankful of your opportunities, and try not to forget that it’s not quite as easy for everyone.

[Photo]

Previously:

Duct tape soup up

Let me explain to you why this is the cutist thing ever:

Last Thursday night/Friday morning, some severely confused/crazy woman allegedly noticed a person drop his keys near 22nd and Bartlett as he was fumbling them out of his pocket to unlock his car.  Before he could see where they fell, she snatched them up and waited as the befuddled would-be driver retraced his steps to see if he had left them somewhere behind.  Utilizing this moment of vulnerability, the woman opened the car, started it, and made her swift getaway–DOWN THE BARTLETT STREET SIDEWALK!

She wasn’t a very good driver and couldn’t quite navigate the narrow sidewalk, slamming back and forth into the trees that lined the walkway and the walls of the neighboring homes, obliterating the little sidewalk community garden that residents had planted there and maintained over the years.  When she finally slammed into a dumpster and realized she was stuck, she aborted the car theft and jumped out, attempting to escape on foot.  Congrats to our pal Tava for waking up from all the commotion and calling the police, who apprehended the woman shortly thereafter.

Now, back to the tree bandages.  The neighbors have been trying to save the garden and the trees that were injured during this attempted vehicular herbicide, and they’ve fashioned these adorable tree slings to help the little guys recover.  In the meantime, they’ve been working to replant the garden and re-erect the tiny fences that lined the sidewalk.  So much love for a neighborhood garden!  Get well soon!

This fellow set up shop on the corner on both Saturday and Sunday this past weekend playing his amplified lute for all to hear.  The music seemed to captivate all who heard it, as passers-by would stop for a few moments to listen to the eerie progressions.  Rather than the go-to “Play some Skynyrd” that usually accompanies loosely-organized performances, inebriated patrons instead compelled to “Play some Greensleeves, bro!”

While not as furious as the Ferocious Few, for instance, you’ve got to hand it to this busker for his resilience.  Perhaps there’s a Renaissance Fair nearby where he can find his soul mate.  In the meantime, I’m gonna go and listen to some Dragon Warrior NES music.

UPDATE!!!! I am an “expert” at world music and this a West African Kora, not a medieval lute.

Someone must have been so amped to see DJ Avalos at Oldies Night tonight that they couldn’t bother with finding a parking space. Well, that and they also crazily reversed into the building and very nearly caused several instances of vehicular manslaughter. Of particular intrigue is the fact that no substances seemed to be involved.  No, this was sober driving at its worst.

According to our own Mike Chino who was one of those almost struck, “it came out of nowhere, very suddenly.” We’re very happy that Mike’s knees are still intact, and we implore the driver, who drove away 30 minutes later after a lengthy conversation with police, to please learn how to drive a car.

You go first.

Muni is obviously trying as hard as possible to compete with Caltrain.

[Photo and Title by Neil See]

In case you were still confused on the subject, our pal Hilary put together this handy little guide to help redress the headdress situation. Check out the history lesson full of salient points here.

I’m a little late to the game with the whole Kreayshawn kreayze, but that hasn’t stopped other notables from weighing in (“Godawful. Another white girl from the ‘burbs trying to act hard. Kesha with a bluntwrap”).  Nor has it stopped Kreay-Kreay from venturing out of Oakland to hang out in our hip little Mission district for the obligatory Thrift Town rack dive and jaunt through Clarion Alley.  Did she buy the same rainbow-vomit sweater you sold there last week?

Link.

[Thanks J-man!]

Which local business is taking their message to the streets? Find out after the jump!

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