Mission Mission

We were walking down Valencia this past Saturday evening when someone passed us from the other direction carrying a fairly standard ordinary metal chair.  Not too odd, until someone further behind yelled “CHAIR!!!” quite loudly, which caused the first to drop the chair and hurriedly walk away.

The voice turned out to belong to a waiter from Grub down the street who collected the chair and started walking back to the restaurant.  When asked what had caused the commotion, he explained that someone had simply grabbed the seat from an outdoor table as they were strolling by and tried to walk away with it.  They had gotten about a block and a half away before getting spooked by the pursuing waiter and dropping the loot.

Does this sort of thing happen often?  I also remember sitting in the Gracias Madre front patio area eating an overpriced but delicious nopales taco when a person who looked like late ’80s/early ’90s Robert Smith passed by on the sidewalk, then doubled back and into the patio to nab a few of the decorative blankets piled before the front windows.  All I did was chuckle that time, and the waitstaff didn’t seem to notice.

A blanket I can understand given San Francisco’s schizophrenic weather, but this begs the question:  Who steals a chair?

Our pal Jen just finished up this mesmerizing ink on paper depiction of San Francisco that I simply cannot stop staring at! Every block in the city is represented by a different color, separated by every street.  I think my block is lime green.  This may well be the raddest map of the city ever.

See it bigger right here, and be sure to check out the rest of Jen’s amazing stuff here!

So says our pal Deep, who you may remember came home Saturday night to discover that the plyceratops mural in front of his house had been graffiti bombed.  Well, that just gave him an excuse to hang out the next day (which happened to be a lovely sunny Sunday–nice work Indian summer!) with his buddy Adrian again to fix it.

Moreover, in doing so, they actually made it better, adding an additional dinosaur and some other small stuff to cover up parts of the offending tag.  I’m quite inspired by the deep philosophy here:  If someone tags your shit, tag it back!  You can complain all you want and you’ll probably even be right, but the best way to have an effect on the community is to get your hands dirty and do something about it yourself!

Some of you may remember from last week the sweet triceratops mural Deep’s (tricycle speaker guy) pal Adrian painted on the plywood barricade erected around his garage to protect expanded construction of the city’s first residential parklet (which so far has looked quite amazing).

Unfortunately, while the mural was originally designed with the idea to ward off taggers who seemed to enjoy hitting up the blank wall, it doesn’t seem to have worked for long, as Deep came home last night to see even this peaceful thunder lizard covered in some illegible scrawl.  Having exhausted preventative measures, he wants to know what you guys think of the situation:

Some tagging is really lame while other tagging is considered street-art. Where do you draw the line?

Previously:

Mission Market mural bombed

Fresh off his inspiring performance last night at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass, Thurston Moore opted for a more subtle undertaking at one of our neighborhood’s highly-touted coffee shops this morning.  Fortunately, my savvy cousin Nushin was on the scene and snapped this pic so the exploit would not be lost to posterity:

Suspicions confirmed by the highly agitated and blushing barista. We were too shy to invite him to the knockout tonight for the sonic youth cover band.

How rad would that have been?!?  Thurston, if you see this, come to the Knockout tonight!

(Thanks Lauren and Nushin!)

Dolo Butt, n – a condition wherein the afflicted has a brownish stain on the seat of their pants from sitting on Dolores Park’s notoriously muddy grass. Ex: “You can tell Joan just came straight from the park. She’s got a mad case of Dolo Butt.”

[coined by Zach Morvant, epic cyclist]

How can YOU prevent dolo butt?  Well, for one, you can make like Vic and bring along a bunch of paper shopping bags for you and your pals to sit on.  What a nice guy!

Even though the general consensus seems to be in favor of bringing meals into bars to enjoy, sometimes it’s too crowded inside to make that a viable option. Nonetheless, that doesn’t mean you have to settle for burrito breath before heading inside either (especially if you’re entering the Make Out Room)! Proper oral hygiene is essential anywhere.

Turning left on 16th with police pursuit slowly in tow.

If you think you have what it takes to win some of the raddest trophies ever concocted, stop by The Lab tonight at 8pm to test your skill against the rest of San Francisco’s premier stackers of blocks.  I know everyone in this city is very proficient at forming lines (whether it’s in front of Bi-rite or on a mirror), so expect the competition to be fierce.  Luckily, karaoke-style sign-ups, rad bands, and huge projected game screens guarantee a fun night even for those lacking in Tetris tenacity.

Check out all the details here and on the Facebook page!

Just in case you’re unable to get all that deviance out of your system at the Folsom Street Fair this weekend, the afterparty is going down at Public Works this Sunday starting at 3pm and they’re closing down Erie Street to make it a danceteria block party featuring a collaboration of three of San Francisco’s most notorious underground queer collectives: Honey Soundsystem, Hard French, and Some Thing!

However, leave that ball-gag at home because this afterparty also comes complete with a goddamn FOOD COURT!  The fare speaks to either your naughty or nice side:

Good Cop:

Mr. Nice, up and coming environmentally sustainable gourmet food truck, will be providing the lighter side of things. 10 flavors of Three Twins Organic Ice Cream and its sausage and hot dogs made exclusively for Mr. Nice by Compass Star Catering. If you’ve been a good boy, maybe you will get one of the limited edition Folsom Frankfurters Mr. Nice is cooking up just for our event!

Bad Cop:

Angry Man Eats is taking all this S&M real serious for its part in the Folsom Deviants Food Court. Armed and ready with its signature ass-kicking Chicken and Waffles. Alongside the regular menu, patrons might need a safe word if they order the “Corporal Punishment Chocolate Waffle.” An Angry Man Liege Waffle on a stick dipped in rich chocolate with black and blue sprinkles on top.

Check out all of the details like DJ sets and other stuff here!