Mission Mission

Looks like this one didn’t make it out to Ocean Beach before the traditional Christmas tree bonfire. Which, may I add, is the classiest way for a Christmas tree to go out–like Bon Jovi in a blaze of glory (or not).

Furniture gone wild.

We’ve noticed all sorts of interesting and eclectic things locked to poles, parking meters, construction equipment, or whatever immobile objects happen to be convenient; so it should come as no surprise that we eventually come across something like this.

To be clear, I’m not making fun of this at all. Just the opposite, in fact, as I think this is rather bad ass! I mean, when I’m old and decrepit and can’t walk around on my own any longer, I’m definitely going to lock one of these babies outside my door so I can still at least attempt to get a slice of pizza down the street without any help.

Despite the rather inclement weather last Friday threatening to ruin New Year’s weekend, local artists Tim Hon and Steve Ha braved the elements to put some final touches on their 49ers tribute mural on the Walgreens at 23rd and Mission.  Yesterday, their hard work was rewarded with a visit from Niners tight end Vernon Davis, still radiant after helping the team earn their first playoff berth in years, who stopped by to sign the piece and yuck it up with local media.

While not quite as astounding as Taqueria Vallarta’s “batshit insane” Niners mural, the fact that San Franciscans are interested in their football team again is a good thing for the city.  Let’s just try not to riot again if they end up winning it all!

[Second photo by Alisa]

And it was his last delivery before New Year’s, too!  The poor dude is currently trying to unlock the door with a screwdriver if anyone who’s attained enough perks on their Lockpicking skills up to at least an Adept ranking wants to help out.  Extra credit if you’re wearing a Walgreens uniform from the dollar store.  Extra extra credit if you’re wearing an Al Green shirt.

Janebook wonders what qualifies in our interesting neighborhood:

But the fifth or sixth instance you hear some guy talk about moving weed like he’s performing life-saving organ transplants with surgical instruments he hand-whittled out of Mendocino redwoods …I can’t. I just can’t. I also find it adorable how they always faux-wistfully wish they had “a regular job.”

As someone with a menial “regular job,” I’m just gonna come right out and say I’d way fucking rather make five times as much doing something illegal — and I totally have options for doing that, but 9 out of 10 of them I’m sure involve donning patent leather and stepping on some dude’s nutsack, which I definitely don’t have the stomach for.

Would you have the stomach for it? Or are you wholly content with your “regular job”?

[Photo via Chinkerfly]

Says Dexn and Flexn:

Kinda like the workout scene from any Rocky movie.

What would this guy’s theme music be though?

And the first inductee is . . . our pal George “Butternuts” Duran, one of Rhea’s longtime behind-the-counter warriors. In case you were wondering, he gets his nickname from the basketball court where he is quite the beast and will taunt you by yelling “Butternuts” every time he busts a shot in your eye, reminding everyone that his stroke is smooth as butter.  Yes, sometimes basketball sounds dirty.

Another notable catchphrase of his destined to be lost in the annals of folklore is “WAMU!”  This is uttered anytime he hits a bankshot off the backboard into the hoop, because even though we’d usually be playing on the weekend, the bank is still open (zing!).  Curiously, when WAMU got absorbed by Chase back during the financial crisis, the new name didn’t quite stick, so we just kept kept yelling “WAMU” anytime an inappropriate bankshot found its way into the hoop.  Of course, there are now newer, younger players who came through after the bank went under and consequently have no idea what we are talking about.

But that’s how folkore works, right?  RIP Alan Dundes.

There’s a reason why masses of people routinely consent to waiting for upwards of 20 minutes in the cold outside of Papalote as their food is being prepared.  While the burritos are delicious and the vegetarian options plentiful, most folks will tell you that it’s the salsa that has them coming back for more.  Often referred to as “like crack” in terms of addictiveness, the salsa is so good that they can actually get away with charging extra for additional containers to take home with your food.  But why settle for tiny containers when you can have an ENTIRE JAR???  Or, even better, three entire jars!

Now that delicious Papalote salsa is available in three different flavors, we decided to try them all out in the most appropriate way possible:  with a salsa party!  We sampled the Habanero, Serrano Tomatillo, and Chipotle varieties, and are pleased to report that that all three offered their own distinct taste while also preserving that addictive Papalote magic.  The Habanero salsa enjoyed our consensus as the favorite of the bunch, bringing that customary, familiar essence along with a little extra spicy zip.  While it’s not high enough on the Scoville scale to induce shortness of breath or the sweats, it still has enough spice to get your blood flowing.  On the other hand, the Serrano Tomatillo variety offered a milder flavor that echoed the traditional roasted tomato salsa found in many of our neighborhood’s best taquerias.  Finally, the Chipotle edition provided that distinctive fire-roasted kick while also preserving the signature Papalote taste without going overboard in the spicy department.

Which is the most efficient method for getting salsa on your tortilla chip?

It should also be noted that both the Habanero and Serrano Tomatillo versions are vegan, while the Chipotle flavor is not.  Nevertheless, all three possessed that same creamy goodness that you’ve come to expect from the Papalote crew.  How they accomplish this with the vegan ones is a delicious mystery.  Honestly, it’s tough for anyone to go wrong with any of these choices, and each one also makes for a great Christmas gift for that special salsa lover in your life.  Try them out yourselves and you won’t be disappointed!  Just ask Salsasaurus!

Order here.

Previously:

Bobby Flay vs. Papalote

Anyone want to start a gang?

Meet me on 22nd just below Folsom.